It Made My Father Cry

Last night, I saw my father laugh the hardest I can ever remember seeing him laugh. I honestly have never seen him look like that. When Brother 2 and I got into the car to go home, I mentioned that I'd never seen Dad laugh so hard. He said that he was just about to say the same thing. His face was completely scrunched up and there were tears in his eyes. He actually looked a lot like his sister, who laughs hard like that on a much more regular basis.

So let me tell the stories that made him laugh. I know that several of these will be repeats for many of you, but at least they'll be repeated more accurately since they're now fresher in my mind.

We were talking about Brother 2's best friend. They've been friends since they were in the dorms together up in Rexburg, almost a decade ago. We'll call him Victor. The first time I met him was at a Halloween party where he showed up in full snorkel gear---he had the wet suit, the flippers, the snorkel and mask---and he was all alone (the night before his first child was to be born). He would swim around in the indoor pool, and then come and sit, soaking wet, on the benches and watch the people partying. At one point, he dove into the foot-deep kiddie pool and started splashing around. This was my first impression of Victor.


At the Airport

Later that year, Victor drove Brothers 1 and 2 and me to the airport so that we could fly home for Christmas. He accompanied us all the way to the gate (back in the days before 9-11). We got to the airport at about 6:00, which meant that we'd all been awake since four or five. I, personally, hadn't had any sleep that whole night. So we were tired. Brother 2 and Victor were standing in line, talking together, and Brother 1 and I were standing behind them. At one point, the line moved forward, and before Brother 1 and I could move up with the line, two rather large girls cut in line in front of us. We were annoyed, but we didn't do anything. Instead, we continued waiting in line for a half hour. Finally, when Brother 2 and Victor were next in line to be served, Victor said to me and Brother 1, loud enough for everyone in line to hear, "Quick. Move up in line before these hefiers try to steal your spot again."

The "heifers" looked stunned. Victor responded to their stunned state by looking straight at them and saying loudly, "Mooooooooooooove over!" Brother 1 and I reclaimed our rightful place in line.


The First Time Brother 1 Met Victor

Brother 2 and Victor have done a lot of climbing together---they both really enjoy the outdoors. So one time, Brother 2 invited Brother 1 to come climbing with him and Victor. It was the first time that Brother 1 met Victor. They were up in Rock Canyon, and it was a fairly busy day. Hikers, rock climbers, and boy scouts all milled about. Brother 1 was on belay (holding Victor's rope) and Victor was ready to rappel down the cliff that he was standing on top of. It was sortof taking him a while, and Brother 1 was wondering why.

Finally, Victor's head peaked over the side of the cliff. He looked around, up and down the Canyon. Then Victor swung his body over the cliff. The only thing he was wearing was the harness.


The First Time Some of His Wife's Friends Met Victor

I love Victor's wife. Let's call her Patience (it was the name of several African women I met in Italy... so it works). Patience was at the same house where the Halloween party was hosted, shortly after she had married Victor. So there was an indoor pool. And a big indoor slide, too. Patience was sitting near the pool with some friends. The friends said to Patience, "So you got married! Is your husband here?" She said yes, and that he was just about to come down the slide. So the whole group of women looked to the slide (one of those long, curvy tube ones) and Victor came out of the bottom, face-down like Superman, with his bathing suit around his ankles. Patience said, "Uh, actually, I think my husband's the next guy."


The Time His Family Members Lost Their Appetite

Victor went to a dinner with his wife's extended family one day. When they were just about to eat the meal, someone mentioned that Patience's sister should get her newborn baby who was sleeping downstairs. Victor said, "Don't worry. I'll get her." So he went downstairs. Instead of grabbing the baby, he grabbed a doll and wrapped it in several baby blankets.

He came upstairs, holding the baby. So a family member said the blessing on the food, and as soon as "Amen!" was said, Victor dropped the "baby," which hit its head on the table and then bounced on a chair before it hit the floor.

There was absolute silence.

Then Victor reached down and picked up the doll to show everyone and said, "It's okay! It's just a doll! It's just a doll!"

Silence.

Then the wailing started. No one was hungry anymore, so dinner was abandoned, and no one wanted to have anything to do with Victor, who was eating his dinner alone in a corner. His father-in-law finally approached him and said, "Well, I thought it was funny."