Police Beat Again

I think I'm going to have to start doing this every week. It's just too good. I was sharing my favorites with Viper yesterday, and he commented on the fact that it's nice to live in a place where the following things make Police Beat. I agree. I'm glad to live in a place where I can read Police Beat and laugh. And laugh, and laugh, and laugh.


Three male students and one female student were swimming in the Deseret Towers pool at 12:55 a.m. Tuesday.

An employee at Heritage Halls reported Monday that a man who is a former BYU student continues to return to Heritage Halls, creating a disruption and bringing women into the men's residence halls.

Police responded to a report of two males in a female residence in S-Hall of Deseret Towers. Officers were unable to locate the men.


A custodian's keys were stolen as she cleaned a women's restroom in the WSC on Friday. The custodian set the keys down when she began to clean the restroom at 7:45 p.m. and found them missing at 8 p.m.

I wonder how many "thefts" at BYU are actually students taking items to the Lost and Found...

A male student's backpack was stolen Friday after being left in the Cannon Center cafeteria. The owner of the backpack returned to the cafeteria three hours after leaving it there and found the bag had disappeared.

Dude. Check the Lost and Found in three weeks. It'll be there.

A professor told police March 29 his cell phone was stolen during his trip to Panama.

And the police officer who's been assigned to retrieve it is THRILLED.

A framed print was stolen from the wall near 3380 WSC. The picture, titled Roundtrip Wyoming by Robert Duman, was valued at $200.

It's a roundtrip. Wherever it's gone---probably Wyoming---it'll be back.


Officers responded to a noise complaint Sunday and found a group of students being noisy outside Taylor Hall in Helaman Halls.

Run this by me again---You say that the police responded to a noise complaint and they found what again? Noise?

A group of male students created a noise disturbance Thursday while riding the elevator in Deseret Towers U-Hall, a female residence hall.

Should this have been filed under NOISE or TRESPASSING? Since it's filed under NOISE, I assume that making noise is a worse crime than trespassing.

Police responded to reports of screaming around 10:40 a.m. March 29 from the east side of Lavell Edwards Stadium. Officers found three female students engaging in a screaming contest.

Bwahahahahahaha! This one truly brings tears to my eyes.


A male student called police Friday after being unable to log on to an on-campus computer.

Ambrosia clearly didn't take all the steps necessary to be reinstated in the BYU computer system. Lesson learned: Don't call IT services. Call the police.


A female student told police another driver hit her car with his hand March 29 after she took his parking spot. The student was concerned her car might be the target of further vandalism.

Police responded to a report of several males riding their motorcycles on the sidewalk March 28 near Helaman Halls. The motorcyclists were gone on arrival.


FoxyJ said...

Every time I read Police Beat I continue to be baffled by the people who leave their belongings unattended and then return hours later to express shock that they are missing.

Squirrel Boy said...

You know, if you made a blog just for making fun of Police Beat and the letters to the editor, you would never run out of material.

AzĂșcar said...

I cannot wait to call the police when I find that someone didn't change the toilet paper when it ran out.

Question: May I also call the police if I can't change the time on my VCR or find the remote?

Tolkien Boy said...

I'm thinking you should look at letters to the editor, too. Some wonderful ones today about shaving.

Oh, and yes, my shirt is cool.