Severance Pay

Well, if you didn't hear it from Brozy, you'll hear it from me. I got the chair (it was the second thing on my list). So here is the story of the chair, in full.

A few months ago, I gazed into the video editing cubicle---you know, the place where they have all the coolest equipment and 20-inch flat-screen monitors. Not that I'm insanely jealous or anything. I noticed that they had a sortof retro chair in there. I wanted it. I knew that they were making sure that everyone had nice, new, eronometric chairs, or whatever they're called, so I asked the office manager if I could have the old chair. She referred me to the Big Boss. So I asked the Big Boss. She told me that all furniture must go to the BYU surplus furniture sale, so no. I resigned myself to the fact that I would never have that chair, and I told myself that it was okay, since it wouldn't fit in the living room anyway.

Then the Big Boss quit. I was sad to see her go, because I actually really liked her. I also really like the woman who took her place, too.

Yesterday, I overheard the New Big Boss talking on the phone about getting rid of the old chairs in the video editing room. I ran up to her and said, "Well, if you don't mind... I've had my eye on this really hideous chair in there, and I'd love to take it home with me." I showed her the chair and she agreed that it had potential and said that I could probably have it.

Today after a series of emails back and forth between her and me, she finally confirmed that I could take the chair. Please read the series of emails:

From Cicada:
I don't know when you'll be replacing that chair, but if I'm still allowed to take the chair home, let me know and I'll make someone give me a ride home (instead of bringing it on the bus with me). I've found the perfect spot for it in my home and I'm sooooo excited. Right now, the only desk chair I have is this folding wooden one that hurts to sit on for more than five minutes... Which is unfortunate, since I'm supposed to be doing hours of homework at my desk. Anyway. Let me know, because I'm still very interested in taking that chair home!

From New Big Boss:
Yes you are. :-) The video supervisor said he didn't care if you took it. I'm not sure where he put it, though, I didn't see it back there this morning. You'll probably have to ask him where it is.

From Cicada:
I just looked and it's there right now. So does that mean that I can take it home today?

From New Big Boss:
Yes you may. But don't tell anyone, I don't want to make them feel bad that they don't get a cool retro yellow chair. :-)

From Cicada:
The secret is safe with me... And everyone who sees me carrying a chair out of the building... And the person who I beg to help me take the chair home... [And the whole Internet, with whom I share this story...]

From New Big Boss:
:-) That works for me. We appreciate all you've done for us Cicada.
--New Big Boss

Now, it might just be me, but "We appreciate all you've done for us" sounds a little like, "Take this chair and leave quietly. Don't make a big fuss and you can keep the chair."

Anyway. I still have my job, but I also like to look at the chair as a sort of severance pay. When the time comes to leave, I'll leave quietly. No fuss.

(I got it home and after a trip to Walmart, two cans of spray paint, a half-gallon of Armorol, and a pillow, this is what it looks like!)


Desmama said...

It's perfect.

*Wipes a tear away, clears throat.*

Coop said...

That's great! Someone actually got something back from this place in the last 3 months! You give us all hope!

daltongirl said...

I love your cool yellow chair. And I won't tell anyone where you got it.

Hey! I have a cool retro desk chair with wheels. One of those ones like secretaries used in the fifties. Do you want it? 'Cause otherwise I think we're taking it to D.I. I can send you a photo if you like.

Mary said...

Please, buddha, tell me why I didn't get the "I see potential in this old chair" gene!

Looks great, Cicada!

ambrosia ananas said...

Wow. I'm impressed. I saw the red frame last night when I stopped by last night hoping to find you. And now it's all refurbished and new-chair-like. Despite your promises, I didn't believe it would like *this* cool. Nice work.

Th. said...


Wow. It's terrific. I can't believe it was ever called anything other than lovely.

Desmama said...

Just to clarify from my first post--which you may think was making fun--I truly was not. It looks very, very cool. And I, like Mary, wish I had been blessed with that gene. Or any domestic-type gene.

Nemesis said...

The chair is beyewtiful. One day, when I come into my money, can I hire you to decorate my house?

anonamom said...

Hmmm. Those shelves beside the bed look familiar! Could they belong to brother #2, perhaps. And do you think he shall notice them and want them back any time soon?

Savvymom said...

So I think I really need you to come over to my apt and see what you can do with its potential. Seriously. You should quit your job and go get a show on TLC or something.