I am now pretty much the coolest person in the world.

Yesterday I needed to take a trip up to campus to do some homework and do get some large files I need for a project off of a school server. I searched frantically for my jump drive, aware that I haven't actually used it for the last several months, and knowing that I probably would have a hard time finding it, too. Then I thought that maybe it was time to buy myself a new one---one to go on my key chain. The price of jump drives keeps dropping lower and lower, so I was sure that I'd be able to find a good deal at the BYU Bookstore.

I had no idea how cool I was about to become.

I got to the bookstore and spent several minutes perusing their jump drive selection. There was a whole rack of school-spirit jump drives---ones with BYU logos on them. I considered buying one, but I thought that Mishkin would probably make fun of me when he got back from Indonesia and that, in addition to leaving my toilet seat up, would be unbearable. There were smallish ones and mediumish ones and largish ones.

But fate (I think the Spirit may have whispered to me to go to another aisle) led me in another direction. There was a rack of Swiss Army jump drives all on sale, with a special promotion:


I've included the picture so you can see how cool it really is. Seriously, folks. It's got a blade, scissors, a nail file/screwdriver and a jump drive. All it's missing is a tooth pick! Now other than the everyday coolness I will now exude, I will be prepared for the following situations:

*I really need to use a computer and someone won't let me on. I threaten him with the knife and he vacates.

*I break a nail while typing fuiously. I simply file it down with my jump drive / pocket knife / nail file.

*I have important and illegal files. I simply swallow the knife before they put me in prison, pass it through my system, and use the file to saw through the bars. Then I'm free and I still have the files.

*I meet a man. I show him my knife / jump drive. He immediately falls in love with me because, let's face it, if my other charms are insufficient in securing a man, my knife / jump drive will surely make up for what I lack.

So there we have it. Oh, and the mp3 player is tiny, light, comes with a arm band, and plays music. I love it. To all you iPod users: Until your iPods have knives, you'll never be cooler than me!

And one last note: Whoever thought of combining a jump drive with a weapon was a genius.