I'm Funny?

(That's supposed to be read like, "I'm Ron Burgundy?" which was the only funny part of The Anchorman. I slept through the rest.)

So my freshman year, one of the many things Magoo coerced me into doing was trying out for Divine Comedy. I didn't even know what it was (for those who don't know what it is, it's BYU's really fantastic comedy troup). I was completely unprepared and unfortunately joined the masses of painfully unfunny people. I am ashamed to say that I can't even remember what I did, other than an impression of a Sand Person from Star Wars. Not funny.

I've decided to try it again, six years later (whoa---am I seriously at BYU six years later? and can I possibly be funnier than a Sand Person?).

Tonight I went to the tryouts with The Boy, Ambrosia, and Mishkin (all there for moral support). We ran into Coworker M*, too, who needs a name, so we'll call him MFEO (which he and I are not, but I absolutely adore him).

I was nervous. Brozy thought it was funny to see me nervous. When it was time for me to walk down nearer to the stage (there were a couple hundred people in the auditorium), my legs were like rubber. I got up and I had two minutes to be funny. So I did my dating poems, of course. (For those who haven't ever seen these performed, I feel very sorry for you.) I had to change the tone of the first bit so that it could go fast instead of slow, and I had to drop a stanza from the second poem. I still didn't make it through, though, but at least when they called "Time!" I quit and left the stage, unlike other people who continued with their material.

So after I was done, I went back up and watched the rest of the auditioners with MFEO and Brozy and Mishkin and The Boy. After tryouts were over, I was waiting as Brozy was having a conversation with some friends, and a guy came up to me.

Guy: Hi. My name is Kenny.

Me: Hi. I'm still single.

Kenny: I really liked your stuff. How long have you been at BYU?

Me: Uh... for a while... since 1999.

Kenny: Oh wow. I've only been here a year and a half. Well, look. I am coming here as a recruiter for Laugh Out Loud comedy---have you ever heard of us?

Me: Yeah, of course.

Kenny: I really liked your stuff, so you should come to our improv workshops. They're free. So if---heaven forbid---you don't get called back for Divine Comedy, come work with us. Even if you do get called back for Divine Comedy. Come work with us.

Me: Oh yeah. Great! Thanks. Hey, I've seen your posters on campus---they're really great!

Kenny: Thanks! I'm the one who made all of those.

Me: I especially liked that one with the baby---I can't remember what it was, but it was so funny!

Kenny: Oh... actually... that was Brand X Comedy.


Me: Oh my. Okay. Well... uh... okay. That's awkward. Well, they have really great posters.

Anyway. Poor, sweet Kenny gave me his business card and told me to give them a call when they have a room and time set up for their first meeting.

I went home with the Gang, and put in a movie and slept through the entire thing (I really just wanted to be in bed). Finally, when I woke up after midnight, I went to check on the site, and it looks as if I've made the first cut. Crap. I mean, I didn't know that I had to be funny twice. I have to go back tomorrow! What on Earth am I going to do?? Anyway. I'll update you on what happens, I guess. For now, I really want to get to bed.


Master Fob said...

Congratulations. Anyone who has not seen your dating poetry is truly not a complete human being. You should post an mpeg for the world to see.

Desmama said...

Hey, I'm excited for you. Please do update on how it goes. I'd even venture down to the Y when I'm in Utah just to see you perform.

Red said...

Just from your blog I'd be surprised if you didn't get selected. Good job.

Yes, it sounds like I need to see some videos of this dating poetry.

Tolkien Boy said...

Could it have been the cookies?

Seriously, well, well, well done. Let us know how tryouts went today.

Coop said...

Cicada nervous? That would have been funny. Way to go for trying out! And I will request that some of this poetry get read at work.