I'm Funny?

(That's supposed to be read like, "I'm Ron Burgundy?" which was the only funny part of The Anchorman. I slept through the rest.)

So my freshman year, one of the many things Magoo coerced me into doing was trying out for Divine Comedy. I didn't even know what it was (for those who don't know what it is, it's BYU's really fantastic comedy troup). I was completely unprepared and unfortunately joined the masses of painfully unfunny people. I am ashamed to say that I can't even remember what I did, other than an impression of a Sand Person from Star Wars. Not funny.

I've decided to try it again, six years later (whoa---am I seriously at BYU six years later? and can I possibly be funnier than a Sand Person?).

Tonight I went to the tryouts with The Boy, Ambrosia, and Mishkin (all there for moral support). We ran into Coworker M*, too, who needs a name, so we'll call him MFEO (which he and I are not, but I absolutely adore him).

I was nervous. Brozy thought it was funny to see me nervous. When it was time for me to walk down nearer to the stage (there were a couple hundred people in the auditorium), my legs were like rubber. I got up and I had two minutes to be funny. So I did my dating poems, of course. (For those who haven't ever seen these performed, I feel very sorry for you.) I had to change the tone of the first bit so that it could go fast instead of slow, and I had to drop a stanza from the second poem. I still didn't make it through, though, but at least when they called "Time!" I quit and left the stage, unlike other people who continued with their material.

So after I was done, I went back up and watched the rest of the auditioners with MFEO and Brozy and Mishkin and The Boy. After tryouts were over, I was waiting as Brozy was having a conversation with some friends, and a guy came up to me.

Guy: Hi. My name is Kenny.

Me: Hi. I'm still single.

Kenny: I really liked your stuff. How long have you been at BYU?

Me: Uh... for a while... since 1999.

Kenny: Oh wow. I've only been here a year and a half. Well, look. I am coming here as a recruiter for Laugh Out Loud comedy---have you ever heard of us?

Me: Yeah, of course.

Kenny: I really liked your stuff, so you should come to our improv workshops. They're free. So if---heaven forbid---you don't get called back for Divine Comedy, come work with us. Even if you do get called back for Divine Comedy. Come work with us.

Me: Oh yeah. Great! Thanks. Hey, I've seen your posters on campus---they're really great!

Kenny: Thanks! I'm the one who made all of those.

Me: I especially liked that one with the baby---I can't remember what it was, but it was so funny!

Kenny: Oh... actually... that was Brand X Comedy.

[AWKWARDNESS]

Me: Oh my. Okay. Well... uh... okay. That's awkward. Well, they have really great posters.

Anyway. Poor, sweet Kenny gave me his business card and told me to give them a call when they have a room and time set up for their first meeting.

I went home with the Gang, and put in a movie and slept through the entire thing (I really just wanted to be in bed). Finally, when I woke up after midnight, I went to check on the site, and it looks as if I've made the first cut. Crap. I mean, I didn't know that I had to be funny twice. I have to go back tomorrow! What on Earth am I going to do?? Anyway. I'll update you on what happens, I guess. For now, I really want to get to bed.