You know you're hard-up for loving when... get a crush on your bus driver the second he opens the doors to let you on the bus.

  • You realize you've got a crush before he even opens his mouth.
  • He's got you blushing as soon as you step on the bus because although you have no idea what he just said to you, you know that it was more than he had to say, because all bus drivers actually have to do is nod their heads when they see that your card is valid.
  • You stutter and can't get out a single real sentence when you ask him how long the bus takes to get to a certain point on the route.
  • He calls you something ridiculous like, "Little Missy," and you think, "I could get used to that."
  • You don't actually understand the rest of what he says because it's either in a hispanic accent or a New York accent or both, and you think, "Oooo! He sounds tough!"
  • You watch him get out of the bus (because you're at the beginning of the line and he's early) and look for a ring as soon as he whips out his Book of Mormon to read it in the park during the five-minute break he has.
  • You think, "Well, if he's a Book of Mormon reader, he must be worthy!"
  • You're wondering if your children will be like their righteous father who reads the Book of Mormon in parks during five-minute breaks.
  • You're wondering if you could ever marry a bus driver.
  • You're wondering how big your house would be.
  • You're wondering what your parents' reaction will be when you say, "Well, Mom, Dad, I've fallen in love with another foreigner who's significantly older than me."
  • You wonder if you detected a hint of flirtation in his voice when he announces your stop on the P.A. system.
  • You wonder if you'll ever see him again when you get off the bus.
  • You're thinking about him again, an hour later, as you're waiting for that bus again and you're trying to do the math to see if it's possible that he could be the bus driver of the bus that's coming.
  • You can't help a smile when you see that he's the driver of the approaching bus.
  • You're nervous that he won't actually acknowledge that he recognizes you.
  • You're thrilled when he acknowledges that he recongizes you.
  • You practice in your head what you would say if he ever asked you out.
  • You listen to every word he's saying to the other passengers.
  • You think he's so smart when he points out a guy riding a segue and says, "Da thing, ee move wit your body gravity!"
  • You wonder if you'll ever see him again when you get off the bus.
  • You're thinking about him again, two hours later, as you're waiting for that bus again and you're wondering if he'll still be on shift.
  • You're on the phone when he pulls up, but you both are still able to exchange a very meaningful, "Well hello again!"
  • You wonder if you'll ever see him again when you get off the bus.
  • You're thinking about him again, one and a half hours later as you're walking home in the dark.
  • You're wondering if it could possibly be him when you see an approaching bus.
  • You're frustrated because you can't see into the front window of the bus, but you know that if it is him, he can see you.
  • You're wondering if you should just run to a bus stop and hop on the bus and ride it all the way to Walmart and back just to spend some time with your new boyfriend.
  • You start waving vigorously when the bus passes and you notice that the bus driver is waving vigorously at you.
  • You wonder if you'll ever see him again.

My life has reached a new level of patheticness.


Nemesis said...

Bah hah hahahahahah!

Oh sweetie. I wish you great joy with your new love.

redlaw said...

This has all the makings of a good romance novel...just think....he could seduce you on the bus one late night, when you're the last passenger...

Not that I read romance novels or anything.

Master Fob said...

This reminds me of that time on my mission when...

Oh, that was the last post. This one doesn't remind me of anything. It's just funny.

daltongirl said...

I think it's spelled "pathetiqueness." And it is, but in a really sweet sort of way. Also it's hopeful. Very, very hopeful.

Keep in mind that it was only about that much initial interaction that got me that fantastic offer from the hot Indian man.

Wear pink! I will pray harder.

daltongirl said...

Does Nem's mom read your blog, Cicada? B/c just in case, I want it made clear that in no way was that last making fun of Nem's mom. Just a suggestion.

JB said...

Oooh, redlaw, I like the way you think!

Hey there, Cicada girl....I can't remember the rest of the words, oh well. Maybe you could ask him to sing to you!

Just think, this could be you:
SING my (busdriving) angel of muuuusic!

ambrosia ananas said...

Oh, honey.

Limon said...

I wish I drove a bus. That's so hot right now.

Unfortunately they are all men or balding women, so I got no chance finding my wifey while flashing my pass.

Stupidramblings said...

OR you could just ask him out 'n' stuff. I bet he would drive EVEN IF you were the one who asked.

Maybe have him take you to St. George and watch La Vita E Bella...

(word verification: jqkfl)

christovich79 said...

well at least you know he has a steady job...

(I'm not sure if I'm being sarcastic or not)

I'm glad you are giving him a chance. His current social status has nothing to do with his value as a person. We can't all be senators.

DP said...

Yeah, ask him out. What harm could it do?

Coop said...

The way that you so openly share your feelings with the blogging world commands my respect.

However, your feelings are for a bus driver.