The Witch and the Hamster

A little while ago, The Boy and I went to PetSmart and we witness an intriguing spectacle. In its little cage, a hamster was running on a wheel while another hamster watched. The second hamster came to the right side of the wheel and watched as the first hamster ran and ran and ran and ran. Then, suddenly, the second hamster lunged forward to get into the wheel. The spinning wheel, powered by the first hamster's insane need to run, pushed the body of the second hamster right into the supporting bar of the wheel. The little hamster's body bent completely in half and the wheel came to a full stop.

Then, squeezing his little hamster butt from where it was wedged between the bar and the wheel, the second hamster got onto the wheel. Both hamsters ran together for a few moments until the second hamster pushed the first hamster off. The first hamster ran around from the left side of the wheel to the right side and waited and watched. Suddenly, lunging forward, he half-inserted his body into the wheel. Then, powered by the second hamster, the wheel pushed his body against the supporting bar until the wheel came to a full stop and the first hamster's body was bent completely in half.

Ths continued and never actually ceased to be funny.

It was so funny, in fact, that I was telling this story to Brother 1 on Saturday. "I certainly don't know why they feel the need to run run run run run!" I said.

"It's just funny that the hamsters can seem to do it but you can't," remarked Brother 1. I considered changing his name to Terd McFurgeson in that moment, but I didn't.

Today, I was both a witch and a hamster for Halloween.

This morning, I put on a black skirt and a black shirt and some black fish nets over red tights. When I went to work, I grabbed my pointy witch hat, my broom, and my cauldron full of goodies. I was a witch, and I was ready for both work and my ward party.

When I got home, I realized that my ward party was a dance party. The last time I went to a dance, I promised myself that I would never ever go to a dance again. I knew that I had to get out and meet people, but I also knew that doing so at a dance would be of no benefit to me at all. So instead, I went to the gym for the first time in months to run on the wheel. I really need to lose this weight.

When I came home, I took all the candy that I had meant to bring to the dance and put it by the door and turned the lights on so that trick-or-treaters could come and take my candy away so that I wouldn't eat it all. Some trick-or-treaters never came. We did have several kids come during the evening, though, and Brother 2, The Boy, and I all carved pumpkins.

Happy Halloween! (Nightmare Before Christmas by Brother 2)

Are you still reading? Also, the best part about tonight was when an 11-year-old kid came to the door with his siblings and butted to be first in line for the candy (because apparently if you don't get there first, people run out) and then looked up at my apartment and said, "Wow. Cool apartment! This is really cool." I still only gave him one piece of candy, though, because he's a butter.

16 comments:

Cicada said...

I do not endorse the following link, and I strongly advise you not to open it at work or not to open it at all if you really don't want to see a picture of a naked man. But if you do want to see a picture of a naked man, please consider this my gift to you.

Master Fob said...

I am no longer at all impressed by my pumpkin. In fact, I am embarrassed to have a picture of my pumpkin posted on the same internet as your and your brothers' pumpkins.

I am, however, amused by the naked man. And we will not examine the fact that I clicked on the link not knowing what it was other than that it was a naked man. We'll just say I trusted your taste.

Limon said...

I have not gone running because I have been feeling sick. Then I realized that I always feel sick when I haven't run for weeks. So I will probably never run again unless Cicada is chasing me in her wheel while she and the naked man jockey for position playing King of the Wheel.

Limon said...

Sorry I didn't make it to your house. I was too busy being very disappointed by the greasy, greasy costumes and dancing of the party attenders (not attendees). Next time I'll come over and we'll watch Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin.

daltongirl said...

Limon, because you referenced an earlier comment by me, I have decided to forgive you for stealing my granite joke and making Nemesis laugh. I actually already forgave you for that anyway, since it wasn't even your fault in the first place. Also, you made it funnier than I ever did. I hope that comforts you.

Cicada, I too trusted your judgement and looked at the naked man. I'm not sure anyone else could have prompted me to do that. And now I see that we have more to discuss than ever.

Limon said...

dg: I have often been accused of only repeating other people's jokes louder. I am glad I can know such funny, quiet people.

Savvymom said...

So, I TOTALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING about the naked guy. I was like, why would she put an ACUTAL LINK to a naked person on her site. It must be ajoke.

Squirrel Boy said...

I just realized that I didn't watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown this year. How sad.

Stupidramblings said...

Oh and when I get reincarnated, I'm going to come back as hamster number two (#2) because that sounds like fun.

Then I hope an animal nut sets me free so I can run into the wild and be killed in three minutes (3 mins) or less...

stupid

Melyngoch said...

See, the thing is that blogs were a very slow discovery for me -- I really only started hunting them out when Tolkien Boy mentioned that he talked about me on his blog, and then I had to go get confirmation.

So it took me a while to figure out you could comment on them, and then I got shy. I mean, I have always . . . had a . . . sort of heterosexual . . . well, anyway.

I was really hoping you dressed up as a hamster to go to the gym.

redlaw said...

Those are the raddest pumpkins ever..

christovich79 said...

The pumpkins look good. I was especially tickled by "The Nightmare Before Christmas" one--never seen one like that. Mark Twain was right about the impersonation-success thing.

If you leave a hamster in it's cage in a dark closet for one month, only exposed to light during feedings and cleanings, it will probably go crazy like Zippity did.

metamorphose said...

Great pumpkin work. And I enjoyed your naked man...well in a funny way. I mean, it made me laugh. Anyway....

JB said...

Cicada, I miss you. And by that I mean I miss reading new posts on your blog. I hope you haven't been eaten by ravenous wolves. Or any other type of wolf, for that matter. :(

Cicada said...

JB: Many apologies. I was busy every night this week helping Brother 2 prepare for this weekend's Event, as discussed in Sunday's post. Will try to be better.

JB said...

No need to apologize! I figured you had to be busy. Just wanted to let you know you were missed.