My Mom Thinks I'll Get Married

Last week I was talking to my mom about the eventuality of she and my father serving a mission. I asked if they were planning on serving any time soon, or if they'd wait a while to see if any more of their children got married. She said they'd wait a while. Then I told her that Brother 2 had commented that the best way for them to get the four single kids married off as soon as possible would be to serve a mission. It would ensure that the four of us would get married during the time that our parents wouldn't be able to come and see the wedding (we're talking Murphy's Law, here---I'm not saying that we'd all go out and get married intentionally to spite my parents).

She said that she was thinking that maybe they'd go when Dad was sixty-five. I said, "Well, I hope that we can at least count on me being married by then." (It's thirteen years away from now.)

Mom: Well, I don't know about that.

Me: Um... You did say "sixty-five," right? As in six-five, or did you say fifty-five?

Mom: Oh, no. I mean sixty-five. We're not ready to leave the business yet.

Me: Well, I should hope that I'll be married at some point in the next thirteen years!

Mom: You never know, though. Your father and I have been in this house for four years now, and look at how fast that time has flown by.

What I got from this conversation: My mother has her doubts that I'll be able to get married within the next thirteen years.

Today I was talking with my mother on the phone again. My Mom made one of those I-wonder-if-I'll-ever-have-grandkids remarks. I responded:

Me: Well, you have your doubts that I'll even get married in the next thirteen years.

Mom: I never said that.

Me: Yes you did!

Mom: When did I ever say anything like that?

Me: When we were talking about you and Dad serving a mission! You said that you weren't sure that I'd be married by the time Dad is sixty-five!

Mom: I don't remember saying anything like that!

Me: Were we talking about two different things? Did I think that we were talking about me getting married and did you think that we were talking about something else?? I said that I figured I'd be married by the time you and Dad went on a mission when Dad was sixty-five. You said that you didn't know about that. I said that I would hope to be married by that point. You said "Just think: Your father and I have lived in this house for four years, and that time has passed by so quickly!"

Mom: Was I reading the newspaper while I was talking to you?

Me: You were probably smoking crack.

Mom: That was probably it. In any case, it was the crack talking, not me.

Me: Good to know.

Mom: I do think that you'll be married within the next thirteen years, by the way. I certainly didn't mean to say that I didn't. What was I thinking during that conversation?

Heaven only knows.

5 comments:

Etelmik said...

I'll be the first to say the obvious and truthful and sincere "I'm pretty darn sure you will, too."

Braden said...

Your mom's so cool for the crack line.

Tolkien Boy said...

LOL...this is me and my mom. Without the crack. The other day she said, "You'll probably be one of those guys who gets married when he's thirty."

Let's hear it for the votes of confidence. And let's hear it for the roommate plan.

Etelmik said...

My mom actually says that about my brother.

But not about me. She also thinks I'll get married before he does; not simply at an earlier age, but just before him period. He's 4 years older than me.

erin said...

I think my family is starting to wonder about me too, considering I'm the oldest and my two younger sisters are married and getting married, respectively. The next youngest is my only brother, who will leave on a mission in 1 1/2 years, so hopefully I have a chance to get married before he gets home from a mission and gets married himself. People tell me I have a good shot, but really, what else are they supposed to say?