Should I be concerned?

My coworker just gave me two packages of a fine, white powder and asked me to deliver them to her brother (whom I've never met).

I joked with her about making me deliver drugs, and then I read the label, which says "A complete line of supplies for wine and beer."

She claims that if you mix this stuff (Tartaric acid) with heavy cream, it makes marscapone.

Of course, her brother will only be able to make the marscapone if I don't find a higher bidder before him. I'll sell at $2000/oz.

This actually reminds me of the time that I found a small bottle with small white pills in it just inside my apartment door. I had no idea what these pills in this unmarked bottle were. First I wondered if my roommate was doing drugs. Then I started going through the list of all of my friends who had been to my apartment that week, and I tried to imagine all of them doing drugs. I'm sorry to say that I even narrowed it down to the two most likely candidates. (Magoo, Rags, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for ever suspecting you of drug use.) And I really felt that I was in a horrible sort of moral dilemma.

Then I found out that it was my landlord's nitroglycerin for his heart condition.


Melliferous Pants said...

Too bad I don't have 2k, I could really go for some marscapone.

Murray Terreno di Amore said...

I was just contacted by an Officer Krupke.

I told him I don't know you.

Anyway, he have a few questions for you downtown....maybe it was uptown, but most likely downtown because apparently police stations are always located in the downtown area of any given town or city.

Jon Boy said...

If you're doing drug deals at work, it's probably not a good idea to post pictures of yourself with the drugs on the internet.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm going to enjoy having your office when you get fired.

TOWR said...


You're a drug mule!

Audrey said...

My question is, wouldn't it be easier for the dude to just BUY the mascarpone? Like, in a store?

I know not every grocery store sells mascarpone, but it must certainly be easier to find it or order it than to search for tartaric acid powder, have a sibling's coworker deliver said powder to you, and then make the mascarpone yourself. (Just for fun, I looked up the process and it apparently involves a double boiler and the separation of whey with a sterile handkerchief.)

Lots of stuff is worth the DIY effort, but I would leave mascarpone to the Italian cheese wizards, personally.

Of course, if it turns out that your coworker's brother happens to be an Italian cheese wizard, then not only do I say props to him, but send him on over to my house.

bedelia said...

One time I really did find meth in my kitchen sink, but it wasn't my roommate's drugs. It was the guy who locked me in my apartment the night before forcing me to call 911.

AzĂșcar said...

Mascarpone? Only if that cream is from Italian cows.

/end quizzical eyebrow.