Today, two important events for mankind have occurred.
1) The BBC has reported that a new mammal has been discovered. Currently, it's called Rhynochocyon udzungwensis, which means "long pointy-nose red fur black rump from Tanzania."
2) A new mammal has been discovered in a hospital here in Salt Lake. She's called Everett, I have no idea how much she weighs, but she has red hair. She is also known as redhairicus cicadasniecicus. Pictures coming.