1. Wake up and weigh yourself. Find out that you weigh about 2 pounds less than you expected to weigh. Rejoice.
2. Pack sensible snacks to take to classes. Plan on buying a sensible lunch on campus.
3. Eat sensible snacks in classes. Start getting hungry.
4. Go to the Twilight Zone. Grab a bagel. Be seduced by the barbeque chicken with cheese sandwich. Buy both the barbeque chicken with cheese sandwich and the bagel.
5. Run for the bus because holy crap, you're gonna miss it!
6. Hop on the bus just in time.
7. Read a book on the bus while anticipating your wonderful lunch.
8. Get off the bus. Leave your lunch on the bus seat.
9. Run after the bus as it pulls away.
10. Rush immediately to the vending machine at work.
11. Discover that the vending machine has been taken away.
12. Be really cranky the rest of the afternoon.
**The 600 calories are from the food you forgot on the bus, but don't forget that you actually burn calories while running to the bus and running after the bus and rushing to the vending machine.
10 comments:
Now THAT's a diet. Not only do you save the calories, you get the associated guilt of not saving the money. Excellent.
Doesn't anger burn more calories?
I'm going with it...
They took the vending machine away? Why on earth?
If you're looking for a way to quickly replace those 600 Calories (and then some, should you so desire), can I suggest Postum frappuccinos? I bet you could easily squeeze 600 calories into only one glass. Minimum effort (no chewing required) and maximum benefit. I wouldn't want you to waste away, Cicada.
This was tragic. Especially because I'm so hungry right now, which gives the story a whole other dimension of personal meaning.
How to Add 600 Calories to Your Diet
Find a barbeque chicken with cheese sandwich and a bagel on the bus. Rejoice.
**The 600 calories are from the food you found on the bus, but don't forget that you actually burn calories while rejoicing on the bus.
SR: Yes, I thought about that, too. And it also made me angry. I hate paying five bucks to eat nothing.
A: I also wondered if anger burned more calories, and I'm sure it does! Clenching fists takes effort.
AA: They're repacing it with a new one.
R: Come on. There's waaaaaay fewer calories than 600 in my frappucinos. We bought light ice cream.
M: I am sorry to have increased your pain!
MPB: How I envy that lucky rejoicer. But I'll assume that a poor person with bad BO who's basically homeless was the one to find the lunch and I will receive blessings proportionate to their rejoicing.
I truly mourn your loss. I'm also impressed that you can at least think of the good things and make us laugh over it.
Also, how do you make the aforementioned Postum frappuccino? Right now that sounds just about perfect.
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I hate being the ninth to comment.
I think I figured out how to make fat free/sugar free Jello Pudding have 600 calories by adding lots and lots of homemade whipped cream and oreos. Then you get some good stuff with LESS guilt, becuase it was originally 'good' for you.
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