When in Blogworld, Copy Daltongirl

Featured on Daltongirl's blog is a brilliant persuasive essay written by Lola about Rome. Lola hit on several points that I definitely know to be true from my mission. Without her permission, and without Daltongirl's permission, I have taken the liberty of either providing supporting evidence for or arguing against some of her main points.

Step away from Rome for a second so you can find out their good and bad characteristics, the cruelty they had against others, and what it’s like to be poor.

I had to step into Rome for a second to find out their good and bad characteristics, the cruelty they had against others, and what it was like to be poor. Among their bad characteristics was their unwillingness to open their doors to the gospel. Among their good characteristics was their willingness to open their doors for any other reason.

Anecdotal evidence: When we'd knock at doors in Italy, a typical response would be for the person to yell, "Who is it??" from the other side of the door, while peering at us through the peep hole. If we mentioned anything about being missionaries or having everlasting happiness and salvation to offer, we'd be immediately rejected. If we stated any other purpose, the doors were opened wide and we were welcomed in. Once, I wanted to make my companion a zucchini dish but we didn't have a cheese grater in our apartment. We started knocking on doors in our own apartment complex. Finally, when someone was home, she yelled "Who is it??" while staring at us through the peep hole.

"It's the neighbors!" I replied.


"The neighbors!"

At this point, she cautiously opened her door a crack to peer at us.

"Hi!" I said. "We're your neighbors. We live a floor below you. I wanted to make lunch for my friend, but can you believe we don't have a cheese grater? I was wondering if you had one I could borrow."

Immediately, the woman threw the door open wide. "Yes! Yes! Please, come on in!" she cried. "I was just using it but let me wash it up so that you can borrow it!"

Another time, while we were tracting in the middle of the summer, we made our door approach to a girl our age and were immediately rejected. I was parched however, so I said, "Okay, that's fine. But is there any way I could have a drink of water? I'm very thirsty." She invited my companion and me into her home where her mother was cooking in the kitchen. They sat us down at the table, gave us water, cut us huge slices of watermelon, and asked us all about being missionaries and what exactly the message was that we shared with people.

Those were Rome's good and bad characteristics. Except for the fact that both of those stories happened in Sardegna. Oops. In Rome, on the other hand, I seem to remember having the police called on me twice and being yelled at from windows. Hmm. That was their cruelty against me. Oh, and I knew what it was like to be poor. Like one time, I wanted to buy a cameo that cost 200 Euros. But I couldn't.

First, everybody in Rome had a good heart, but they forgot about their good-natured selves when it came to justice and cruel entertainment.

This is true, though many Romans would tell you that it's true of everyone but priest and nuns. Man, some of them sure have it out for priests and nuns! As I mentioned, the Romans called the cops on me a couple times. That would be them not having good hearts when it came to justice. As far as cruel entertainment is concerned... Switchback went to a soccer game in Rome where she experienced both justice and cruel entertainment. Riots broke out at the end of the game, and the police came out and tear gassed everyone, including Switchback and all her missionary friends. Cruel. But entertaining. Justice.

Next, cruelty was a part of their daily lives—killing, gladiator fights, and unjust treatment. Everybody was doing it (watching gladiator fights), but killing people was very common in Ancient Rome, in gladiator fights.

Yes, cruelty is still a part of their daily lives. One day, as I was walking past the colosseum with my companion, a man dressed up as a Gladiator (pictured here---I got it from the Internet, but I swear it's the same guy) started heckling and making fun of me and my companion. It was a little stunning, actually. I thought, "Wait... are missionaries so low on the pecking order that men who dress up as gladiators and wear short skirts can make fun of me??"

“Killing Christians is wrong, because they should be able to have their own say in their religion.”

Unfortunately for the Italians, Christian is synonymous with Catholic and since we weren't Catholic, we weren't Christian, which meant, according to the above quote, that killing us wouldn't actually be wrong.

Now that you’ve stepped back and looked, I think you’ll agree the characteristics, cruelty, and poverty tell you to stay away from Rome.

Hmm. Well, when I stepped into Rome, I really liked it. And now that I've stepped away from Rome, I want nothing more than to go back, despite the characteristics, the cruelty, and the poverty. Lola, if I weren't poor, I'd buy you a ticket to and have you step into Rome with me.


daltongirl said...

You said all the things I would have said if a) I had ever been to Rome, b) I was as funny as you are, and c) I wasn't still terrified Lola would discover what I did in publishing her paper.

Must post again today so that when my blog is on the screen, the word ROME isn't the first thing one sees.

marriedin said...

Ahhh, cruel entertainment. What is a soccer game without a good riot? And who hasn't laughed when they've seen someone fall off their bike? and who hasn't thrown a snowball at a car windowshield and then runaway laughing when they swerved off the road? And who hasn't egged a perfect stranger all in the name of entertainment? (I have a lot more if you are bored this weekend)

Cicada said...

You read the wrong post. Check out this post. You can't fool me.

Here were your givaways:

1) You said "You think you know a person" when you expressed your disappointment in the fact that I think I'm a Democrat.

2) You said that my cartoons were surprisingly realistic except for my mom's. First of all, all the cartoons look like cartoons, so if you didn't know my mom, you wouldn't know that the cartoon doesn't look like her. Second of all, you would have called her "Ootsie Boodle" instead of "your mom."

3) You told me to ask you about health care and to trust you. No anonymous blogger would be so stupid as to say something like that. If I don't know you, I can't ask you and I won't trust you.

4) Health care is your specialty. Don't think I didn't know that.

5) You commented at three separate times on Friday. People who don't know you don't go back to your blog three times in one day to keep checking on their comments.

6) You haven't commented on anyone else's blog that I know. This means that you likely came to my blog directly instead of linking to me from other people.

7) Marriedin? Marriedin?? If that's not a reference to Seattle, I don't know what is!

The only thing that makes me think that it's not who I know it is is the abominable punctuation. Really. I would have expected better of someone who's working on his PhD.

Squirrel Boy said...

I just wanted to say that I love the picture of you in handcuffs.

daltongirl said...

Is THAT what that picture is? I thought you were reaching for his . . . well. I'm glad that's all cleared up now.

redlaw said...

Well, maybe she is reaching...with her hands in handcuffs...wow - that makes it even worse!


Cicada said...

Ladies, ladies! You are going to get me in trouble with my parents! And they weren't happy about this picture in the first place. I'm not reaching. I'm in handcuffs. And I shouldn't have been. Or at least I should have had the picture taken in the summer when my coat wasn't covering my handcuffs so obviously. Or I should have had the picture taken when I was not a missionary. All I have to say is that it's not hard to get what you want out of an Italian man.

marriedin said...

I read Update. And I knew you could figure out who I was. I know you are smart, even if I have inferred otherwise. Your writing is a clear indication. You even picked up on a couple of clues I didn't think about. But married in Seattle. I don't know what that means. I just meant I married into this blog, your emails, your Christmas and probably a lot more.

As for my punctuation, ouch.

Cicada said...

Oh that's funny that "marriedin" had nothing to do with Seattle after all! When I told El Senor that I thought it was you, he said, "I thought that marriedin was a reference to Seattle." I said, "Why?" He said, "Sleepless in--... Married in--" So he had me convinced.

And really I'm disappointed that you gave up so easily. You could have at least continued pretending you were a stranger. Eventually you may have even convinced me. Except that El Senor and I were planning on calling your wife since we thought she'd give it away.

Do you watch The Office? A couple weeks ago, the boss found crap on the carpet in his office. The whole episode centered around him trying to find out who did it. He says, "It could have been done out of hate, it could have been done out of love, or it could have been done out of complete indifference." When, in the end, he found out that it was his friend, he said, "And it turns out it was done out of love, which I knew all along."

Well, I had a similar experience. When I first read your comments, I thought, "Who is this person, and why would they say things like they're saying on my blog!" But as I realized that it had to be someone I knew, I realized it was done out of love, and then it all became funny to me. So I hope you know that all the references to comments you made that I stuck into Update were just to egg you on back. I really wasn't thinking that you were saying you were actually smarter than me.

To tell the truth, I at first thought that it was Mary Moo. She was the only one I knew who read my blog who would put in comments to bait me. I had to call my mom and read her all your comments and think about it hard with her before we found out that it was you. She realized that she'd sent a link to your mother-in-law with my blog address earlier that morning.

Anyway, please continue to read my blog and post comments, even if it's no secret who you are anymore. I probably could stand to receive a little advice from you again. And you could always share my blog with all your friends and get them to give me advice too...

Cicada said...

Oh, and the punctuation comment was to get you back for the comments about my being democrat. Sucker.

marriedin said...

Nothing but love.