Not Denise

Here's a joke I found on ebaumsworld:

An unmarried woman is newly pregnant and gets into an auto accident. She suffers a head injury and lapses into a coma for nine months. When she awakens in the hospital, she panics and asks about her baby.

Her doctor is called in and gives her a mild sedative, then he sits down to answer her questions. "I'm so happy to see you recovering", he says. The woman responds, "Thank you doctor, but what about my baby? Is everything all right?" He replies, "Yes, despite your injury, we were able to perform a fairly normal delivery procedure."

"In fact," he goes on, "you've given birth to twins - a boy and a girl". The woman is very happy and asks when she can see her new babies. The doctor replies, "Right away, but we've already sent the infants home with your brother. We'll call and tell him you're okay. While you were unconscious, your brother took care of everything for you. He even gave the babies names."

At this point, the woman gets upset, "Doctor, my brother is an idiot! What name did he give my little girl?" The doctor answered that her name was Denise. "Oh, Denise, that's not so bad. What name did he give my boy?" The doctor answered, "Denephew".


So my announcement is that Denephew is on his way! Captain Fabuloso and Peaches Mom will have their baby in June and I will be an aunt for the first time. This does pose a problem, however, in that now Captain Fabuloso and Peaches Mom are insistent that I change Peaches Mom's name. "Peaches" is the name that they've been calling the fetus for the past several months, knowing that it was a little feminine. Now that they know they're producing the heir, they've decided that "Peaches" is no longer an appropriate name.

My suggestion of "Bananas" was rejected.

17 comments:

Stupidramblings said...

Parsnips?
...

Tolkien Boy said...

There's always Kiwi...it's a little non-gender-specific.

Limon said...

How about Spud? It's not really a fruit, but isn't it the apple of the earth? That'll show Gwyneth.

Nemesis said...

Congratulations on almost being an auntie! When the time draws near, I will share the special Being the Favorite secrets I've learned.

If they want to be all faux-British (coughGwynethcough)they could call him Wills, on account of him being the heir and all.

Th. said...

.

In that case, why not Whales?

(This looks like a misspelling but is in fact a complicated joke that would be even less funny than it is now were I to explain it.)

Cicada said...

Once again, TB, if my parents didn't read this blog, I'd say something like, "Au contraire, mon frere."

Check out the kiwis.

Stupidramblings said...

But I don't WANT to know about a new shaver for men...

Th. said...

.

Is it too late to rant against circumsion on your blog too?

Cicada said...

Th.,
Since the baby being celebrated on my blog isn't mine, then I won't be inviting any discussion on my blog about circumcision. When the time comes for my to have my own baby boy one day, if I still have a blog, I'll write a post called, "I'm For Foreskin" and the issue can be debated at that point. But you and I will always win.

marriedin said...

I don't know what circumsion is, but I have a friend who has currently been debating foreskin removal with his wife (not for himself, but his unborn child). However, being a nurse for a urologist and spending most of her week circumcising 8-14 yr olds with infections has pretty much sealed the deal. People are so influenced by anecdotal evidence.

Cicada said...

I said that we are not going to be talking about circumcision here. For all those who want to talk about circumcision, I may recommend:

Th.

Master Fob

FoxyJ

Cicada said...

Uh... yeah. I was wondering when people were going to start asking about that... I'll get to it. I'm trying to find the best way to put it.

AzĂșcar said...

Foreskin, schmoreskin, I want to know how the date went.

Cicada said...

Whoa, weird, Carina! It put my comment before yours instead of after it, even though I was responding to your comment!

AzĂșcar said...

I'm pretty sure that's the 8th sign of the apocalypse. Everybody duck.

Th. said...

.

Out of respect for Cicada and because she's right--we would win anyway--I won't respond to Marriedin's comment. And by no mean would be response belittle her professional opinion, but suffice it to say that, well, the no cutting camp still has the superior arguments.

marriedin said...

th. fortunately I don't go for anecdotal evidence.