(Republicans can speak out, too, you know. I am easily influenced by any opinion.)So once I had to host FHE. I hadn't been going to FHE all semester, so I certainly didn't know many of my FHE "siblings." But one evening, I graciously opened my home to them. After the spiritual high of our FHE lesson, a ward member reached into his jacket and pulled out a hand gun.
It really, really bothered me. But, trying to not come off as an absolute jerk in front of my "family," instead of asking the guy and his gun to leave, I made a stupid joke about it and allowed him and his gun to stay in my home. He wasn't doing anything with the gun... other than stroking it. There was absolutely no reason for him to have it in my home... other than obsession.
I have since replayed the situation in my mind and I have determined that I should have been more outspoken and firm in that moment. Here's how I imagine it going in my head:
[Guy pulls out gun so that he can stroke it.]
Cicada: Hi. I'm Cicada. I realize that we haven't actually been introduced. While I respect your lawful right to carry a gun [I think that nearly every guy in his apartment has a concealed weapon's permit], I would ask you to respect that you are in my home and I don't necessarily share your political views. The presence of your gun in my home, whether the gun is loaded or unloaded, makes me feel uncomfortable. I would kindly ask you to take your gun home. You are welcome to come back if you like, but please, in the future, do not bring a gun into my home.
Of course, depending on how that was received, I could potentially add, pointing my cell phone at him like a gun, "It is against the Honor Code to have a gun in BYU-approved housing and I have them on my speed-dial, you son of a -----."
Now, just so that you don't think I'm narrow minded, I may add that if Jack Bauer came into my house with a gun, I'd serve him up a tall glass of crystal light and ask him to marry me or at least kill all my exboyfriends.
***Okay, so Ambrosia, before I was able to post, pointed out that it's not actually against the Honor Code. So there goes that point. Oh well. This was all in my mind, anyway. Just like my dreams about Jack Bauer.
13 comments:
You know, I didn't have a problem with this story until the guy pulls the gun out and strokes it. Blech.
I am, in fact, not in favor of increasing gun control, and I have several friends who have concealed carrying permits. *However*, being the experienced, tactful, and generally wise gun carriers they are, they *never* whip out their weapons at parties or bring them out like a pet rock and stroke them. Blech. Gross. That's well beyond rude, and you would have been more than justified in asking him to take his little friend along home.
I wish I could make some sort of argument that this guy wasn't a Republican, but really, I have no ground to stand on.
We have had guns in my home my entire life, and there was always at least one loaded and I usually knew where it was. However, my dad took gun safety very seriously, so I knew that messing with guns unless we were out shooting was just about the biggest no-no imaginable.
If someone has a gun and a concealed weapons permit, I respect that. If someone honestly feels like they need to carry a gun everywhere for self-defense, I won't argue with them, and I won't tell them to leave their gun at home before entering my home.
However, pulling out a gun in the middle of FHE shows a serious lack of respect for guns and a macho desire to impress people. That's the sort of attitude that can become very dangerous very quickly, and it's also the sort of attitude that I would never allow in my home (assuming, of course, that I had the backbone to publicly tell someone so in the middle of FHE).
In other words, I pretty much agree with Ambrosia.
Yeah, that guy's an absolute weirdo nutjob. I would take issues with anyone who brought a gun into my home without asking my permission, because who the crap do they think they are?
And I'm sure he didn't believe there was any kind of danger when he pulled out his gun, otherwise he would have said something like "Excuse me, but I believe a grizzy bear is trying to jump through the front window" or explain his actions in some other way, rather than stroking it like Smeagol with his Precious.
I am an NRA uber-supporter. Well, not actually, but I HAVE considered getting a permit without actually purchasing (or stealing) the requisite gun. Why? Because I have the right to.
Anyway, the whole point of the permit is to give you the lawful permission to exercise your right to carry a concealed weapon. Somehow, your 'brother' thought a concealed weapon permit allowed him to brandish and flash it a la Yosemite Sam.
I believe it is a crime to flash a weapon. That's not what I FEEL it should be; I'm saying it's actually a crime. So call Redlaw and have her prosecute--and QUICKLY!--the statute of limitations might be up soon...
That was scary. I'm scared.
Yeah, that's an example of poor gun ettiquette.
I know that, nd I haven't even graduated from gun college.
You should have asked him where the rest of his well-regulated militia was.
I have known very responsible concealed weapons permit holders. I have also known extraordinarily irresponsible permit holders. In my view, just having a permit is no guarantee on how they will handle a weapon. Especially in the case of this stupid fellow.
We would never have a gun in our home. I respect the right of other people to have arms in theirs. I just wish all people were responsible in their gun ownerships.
I have also always had guns in my home. My dad was in the military and so he had his guns. But they were locked up. With a key. Out of sight. Out of accidental reach.
Because I should also add that guns scare me. They are a weapon and they have their uses, but one of them should not be to show off and stroke during FHE. I'm impressed with your restraint. I'm not sure what I would have done, but I know what I would have been tempted to do. Flee. Far, far away.
Guy was a jackass. He actually had the gun out for the express purpose of distressing our FHE mom because he thought it was funny.
I'm all for teasing and playing around, but guns are not toys, nor funny (unless they are obviously fake and have a "bang" flag concealed in the muzzle). Do not treat them as such.
Thus spake The Boy.
Yes, The Boy learned at a young and impressionable age that guns are not toys. Except sometimes they are toys. One year, he and Richie and I were flying to Las Vegas. Richie was 12 and The Boy was 8 or 9. Because we were three children travelling alone, we were accompanied by an escort. When our bags were put through the x-ray, some serious looking guards came and asked us if we had a gun in our luggage.
Richie said no.
I said no.
The Boy said, "Um... just a minute."
He reached into his bag and pulled out a toy gun that he had thought to bring on his trip.
The gun was confiscated.
Not funny.
Ugh. For the record, I would not ever allow anyone with a gun in my home. Just so you know not to bring one next time we have a blog party. This is in theory, of course. I'm not sure I would be any bolder than you in demanding the offender leave. See, I realize this is probably paranoid of me, but this is how I would fear the rest of the scene playing out after I make your imagined bold demand:
Guy points his gun at me and says, "Hi. I'm Guy With A Gun. I'll do whatever the hell I want."
Then I, unsure of whether he is joking around to intimidate me or he really intends to shoot me, would run out the back door and cry. That's just the kind of man I am.
Though my family growning up never had guns, I happened to marry an Idaho cowboy who grew up hunting, so I'm getting used to it. There are currently three rifles (well, I think only two are technically rifles and one is a shotgun) on the wall of our bedroom (only because we have no gunsafe as yet-or a den).
My husband is also very strict when it comes to gun safety. His mother teaches the gun safety class in his hometown. Our 4- and 2-year old sons are allowed to pull the trigger on a real gun (if someone else is holding it for them) but are NOT allowed to play with toy guns. They get yelled at when they use thier fingers (as boys will) to play shooting--especially if they were pointing their fingers at each other when they made the bang noises.
My husband is also very strict about what uses guns may be properly put to. It bothers him that his younger (though full-grown and married) brother will go out shooting just for fun and will give away the meat from the animal he killed. My husband only hunts for food--and we eat the food he kills. This year he didn't kill anything (not for lack of trying) and we're having to buy beef again. Elk meat is better than beef. Leaner, had a happier life, totally different (richer) color when cooked or raw.
My husband also approves of guns for protection and, if we only had the money (and my permission), would be buying a handgun and getting his concealed weapons permit. We go the rounds on the safety aspect whenever it comes up:
Me: if it's for protection it'll have to be loaded to be effective and then the boys will find it, play with it, and kill each other
Him: No, the prowler entering our run-down can't-possibly-have-anything-of-value-in-it house will be scared away just by the sight of it
Me: then get a realistic-looking toy gun.
Fortunately, we never have to reach a resolution because, again, we have no money to purchase the hand gun.
(I do have to note, however, that I had a roommate once who is likely only alive today because her boyfriend had a gun when someone tried to carjack them.)
Darling husband and I have been going the rounds about guns kept in the house ever since we got married. Not that he has any guns, uses for guns, or money to buy guns. He just grew up with two cops for parents and wants to know that he could have one if he wanted. I am terrified of gun accidents and very opposed. Blech. Sick of talking about it.
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