I am a big, fat, sick hypocrite.

I know that I just posted a brilliant post an hour or so ago, but what I have to say now needs to be said. I know that my most true and loyal friends will comment both on this post and my other post today, in order to show their love and support of me.

I have been sick all week. I started coughing and getting a sore throat on Tuesday. It's been getting progressively worse. Puckish Mitya told me to go to the health clinic tomorrow, which I will do, but I needed something today to help me out, since I've already consumed all of my disgusting Hall lozenges. So I decided to sin.

I threw on my only sweatshirt and a pair of jeans and took The Boy's car to Smith's. As I was pulling in, I was surprised at how full the parking lot was. I will admit it. I did actually think to myself something along the lines of, "So the only people who'll be here today are non-members and sinners." But that is a very personal and self-righteous thought that normally I would never share with anyone but today I must share so that you can understand the absolute shame I then felt.

I looked down and noticed my sweatshirt. As it turns out, the only sweatshirt I own is a BYU sweatshirt. Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap. Leave it to me to shop on the sabbath in a BYU sweatshirt. I could have blended in the crowd, but no. I chose to wear a BYU sweatshirt.

So I went straight to the pharmacy to grab cough syrup so that when I went to get the chicken noodle soup, people would at least see (if they looked closely enough, which, let's be honest, no one saw anything other than the BYU sweatshirt) that I had medicine in hand.

At the very least, I'm sure that I made all those who were shopping in suits or skirts feel somewhat validated. Just as they, fellow sinners, made me feel validated.

(As an addition to this post, I'll let you know how I chose my cough syrup. I was torn between the generic Koger brand or the Robitussen brand, which had alcohol in it. I thought that as long as I was sinning on the sabbath, I may as well go for the alcohol. But the alcoholic one didn't seem to really address my symptoms. So I chose the one that said, "temporarily relieves cough due to minor throat and bronchial irritation; helps loosen phlegm (mucus) and thin bronchial secretions to make coughs more productive" because the part about making coughs more productive actually made me laugh out loud in the medicine section. Which called more attention to myself. And my BYU sweatshirt.)

14 comments:

AzĂșcar said...

Dear Cicada,

Your ox was in the mire.

-c

AzĂșcar said...

p.s. You are nothing like the people I would encounter years ago when I was a waitress.

"Hurry, it's Fast Sunday and I'm starving," all said without a hint of irony.

Righty-ho.

Brinestone said...

After you go to the health center today, you'll probably have better advice than this, but I'm going to give it anyway.

There was a big news story a few weeks back about how cough syrups do not contain strong enough doses of the medicines in them to actually do anything for you. They might soothe your throat as they go down, but they're not actually helping all that much.

May I recommend Mucinex, which contains the same active ingredient as Robitussin in much higher amounts? It's really a wonderful thing.

And sleep a lot. That chicken soup can't hurt either.

And if you can, have a friend or a roommate go and get you the Mucinex you need so you don't have to walk to Smith's again while you're sick.

Get better soon!

daltongirl said...

I think you got the same medicine I did, back when I was sick for a month. I loved that stuff. It actually worked, which the prescription stuff I paid $25 for did not. My cough was SO productive! Only, now that I think of it, I didn't purchase mine on Sunday, so if yours doesn't work, that's why.

I know the feeling about pulling into the parking lot on Sunday and judging all the rest of the people for being there. How embarrassing it is when one realizes one is a big, fat hypocrite. I also think I've done this in a BYU t-shirt. Is it some kind of subconcious thing that makes us want people to judge us back? I don't know.

ambrosia ananas said...

Hahahahahaha. You remind me of my BYU/Smith's experience.

Cicada said...

Aaron,
I'm sorry to let you know that I have removed your comment. I usually don't delete comments, but posting a comment that attacks my religion is offensive to me.

Mary said...

I'm not sure where I stand on the traveling-on-a-Sunday-therefore-it's-okay-to-eat-Wendy's argument either. I've done it, but I never feel normal afterwards.

Hypocrisia. Si.

Feel better, Cic. May those coughs be so productive, they meet their quota in half the time allotted and the boss gives 'em a fat raise.

Limon said...

I had a missionary friend who was out on his bike one hot Sunday afternoon and stopped by a convenience store for a refreshing soft drink, soon after which he was heard to scream, "Oh crap!"

Looks like his tag will be hung right next to your sweatshirt in Hell's version of the Hard Rock Cafe.

Squirrel Boy said...

I wouldn't have felt bad at all having to go get medicine on Sunday. Just my two cents.

Feel better soon, Cicada.

redlaw said...

I second squirrel boy on this one - sickness doesn't care what day of the week it is and so, if I need to combat sickness, I don't care either.

Cicada said...

Yeah, I was actually being mostly facetious here. I really have absolutely no problem with what I did. And, I'm sorry Mary, I'm definitely from the "It's not a sin to eat at restaurants while traveling" camp. I've done it. And I always feel thrillingly satisfied afterwards. Maybe I am a sinner...

Cicada said...

And also for the record, I'm also firmly in the "it's not a sin to use medicine with alcohol in it" camp as well. I know I mentioned it as sinnish in the post, but I was totally joking.

Mary said...

Gosh, maybe I just need to get a life. Or a sense of humor. I feel so square!

Bink said...

As my mother would say, "Your ass was in the hole".