1) I went birding this morning (we have to get 75 birds this semester---I currently have 35). When we were finished and driving back, my mom called me. I told her that I couldn't talk because I was with birders. She called back a couple minutes later when I was still in the car with the birders, driving home. I answered the phone and whispered, "You just scared off a very rare bird that we were looking at, and most of the birders didn't get the chance to see it!" I'm still laughing. I started laughing about five seconds after I said it, but those five seconds were enough for her to start feeling really bad.
2) She had been calling to describe a bird call that keeps waking her up in the morning. It sounds like a cell phone, she said. I asked her to make the sound and she yelled into the phone, "RING! RING!" I offered to put her on speakerphone so that the birders could help her out but she declined and I laughed at her. Once she was off the phone, I asked the birder I was with if she knew a bird that sounded like a cell phone. She suggested the red-winged blackbird because it makes a sound like this... Only then she changed her mind and said that she wasn't going to make the sound. I said, "Come on. You can do it. My mom was doing it." She said, "I know. And I heard you laughing at her. I'm not going to do it."
3) Before moving into this apartment, The Boy bought a chair for the living room that would be his. I bought a chair that would be mine. Today, The Boy sat in his chair, and it broke a la Goldilocks. Only I had to laugh on the inside because he hurt his shoulder so badly that he became nauseated. I'm still laughing. On the inside.
4) I went to a Platonic Love Fest tonight where everyone had to dress as a love cliche. Dirtbag dressed as "Love is a many splendored thing." She was wearing many splendored things. I dressed as "I heard it through the grapevine." Really, I took the easy way out. I just wore a shirt that has children playing telephone. El Senor didn't have a costume but at the last minute he thought it would be a good idea to go with lipstick kisses on his face. Dirtbag layed on the red lipstick and did a fantastic job of planting several kisses on his face. After the party we went through the Wendy's drive-thru. When we got to the first window, the girl commented that it looked like El Senor was having a very good night. He got really embarrassed. So embarrassed that he tried to make a joke about it and couldn't finish his sentence. So embarrassed that when we went to the next window to grab our food, he never actually came to a full stop. He grabbed the food from the window as we rolled right through.
5) My favorite costumes at the Platonic Love Fest were two girls who dressed as "It's not you, it's me." They dressed like each other and then each wore a mask with the other girl's face. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.