So I went to a study group tonight. It's a group that was formed the first day of class when a sheet of paper was passed around the class and we all had to sign our names randomly into groups. Our group is responsible for a presentation on Monday so today we had our first group meeting. It was supposed to be at 8:30.
I got to the library at 8:30. Fortunately for me, Tolkien Boy was also there waiting for his study group members, so we, the punctual, were able to keep each other company while we waited for our group members.
At 8:39, I started wondering if I got it wrong. Then finally at 8:40, one group member showed up. We talked. We waited. And waited. At 8:50, I went to access my email to get the phone number of one of the missing group members. As I came back with her phone number, she showed up. So that meant that three of four of us were there. The original girl said that while I was getting the phone number, the fourth group member showed up. With his girlfriend. Twenty minutes late. And then he said that they needed to go to the drinking fountain to get a drink. So they went. So I waited with the other two group members for ten minutes for him and his girlfriend to get a drink.
TEN MINUTES AFTER HE WAS ALREADY TWENTY MINUTES LATE!!!!
Needless to say, I was a little annoyed.
He never apologized.
He never, ever apologized.
In fact, he didn't indicate that he had done anything wrong at all.
Then, as if things couldn't actually get worse, when we went to a table in the library where we could finally sit down and start to work, we lost him for another five minutes when he ran into friends in the hall.
Finally, when he joined us, we said, "Let's just make work assignments quick," he said, "Oh. Is this just going to be a quick meeting then?" I said, "Well, it is now." Still no recognition of the fact that he was ten minutes late.
Now nothing would please me more than if you all would post comments about what a jerk he is and stories of other jerks you've had to deal with.
10 comments:
Dude! What a loser. I'd definitely make sure to mention this to the professor.
There's a reason why I never liked group projects. I hate it when someone else's flakiness affects me like that. And conversely, if I experience a bout of flakiness, I don't want it to be anyone's problem but my own.
He's a total jackass. Sorry to bring profanity to your website but I can't think of a better way to describe him...well, I can, but it would be more profane.
Sorry about the bummer day.
Oh yes, profanities galore. What a total jerk-off. If he had said I'm sorry just once....
Well his lack of courtesy will come back to haunt him. Hopefully.
I hate late people. I know I should probably say that I hate it when people are late. A 'hate the behavior, not the person' sort of thing. But I'm sorry. I hate late people.
I used to work for a woman who was consistently late for everything. I would have to call places and tell them that she had been in a car accident, or was stuck in traffic, or was having a minor family emergency. She had absolutely no respect for other people's time and it was one of the many factors influencing my decision to get the heck out of that place.
It is so unbelievably self-centered to show up to activities, group projects, etc. late. As if the whole world revolves around you and your schedule. Get a watch! Get a cellphone! And for the love of all that is good and holy LOOK AT IT AND GET PLACES ON TIME!!!!
Oh, Cicada, I feel so much better!
Okay, Cicada...this has got to be one of the biggest irritations OF MY LIFE.
I grew up in a family where being late is as normal as 98.6 F. Imagine a life where everyday you are DEAD LAST to be picked up from anything: school, seminary, dance class, mutual, birthday parties, the mall, EVERYTHING!!!
I have a friend whom I adore who is notoriously, helplessly, pathologically, consistently, late late LATE for everything. I tried once to explain to him how when he is late, it gives others the impression that he thinks his time is more important than theirs. It shows self-centeredness and insensitivity to those whose lives upon which he is so callously imposing.
He's still late. Every time. I honestly think it's a disease with people.
Having said all that, however, I realize that I need to just get over it and not let it work me up into the tizzy that it does. I can't change it, and maybe I shouldn't always take it so darn hard. It's hard not to though!
End of rant.
I feel like a better person for feeling guilty when I'm late for things. I think that's kinda rediculous, but there you have it. I once had a boyfriend who was always late for everything and he acted like the world owed it to him to wait for him. Ha! Yeah right! I was only a few minutes late when I was and I was trying to be better so I thought I was a better person than he. But now, I think I was just fooling myself.
Um. Yeah, so enough about me. My point in writing is to say that guy was a complete J-E-R-K. A word which here means, he had no right to be so late and should have at least been very very sorry.
My mom has a friend who is consistently THREE HOURS late for everything. I'm not even kidding here. The difference is, she's very apologetic, and very sweet and loveable, and you can't help forgiving her.
That's the difference. She's from a different generation, when it was not totally embarrassing to apologize for something that is one hundred percent your fault. I see this with my boys all the time. It would kill them to apologize. I think I mentioned this earlier this week, when I discussed the ruined Indian food, wasted strawberry lassi, and no apology forthcoming. Also, the same day, when DBJ made me five minutes late for church so I peeled out and left him standing in the driveway. No apology. Ever. Even when I calmly explained to him what he'd done wrong.
But my favorite story is the one about the server in the Japanese restaurant in Orem who dumped an entire bowl of scalding miso soup on my lap, and refused to apologize in any way. My legs were burned. She apparently felt it was my fault, because she ran into my elbow with the tray. Even if it had been my fault, which it wasn't, she was the server, and still should have apologized. I ended up apologizing to her for my elbow. At that point, she should have probably said it was okay or something, and then apologized herself. The only thing I can think is that if she had admitted fault, she would have been required to commit ritual suicide, and she just wasn't ready for that.
Maybe that's the guy's problem from your group. Is he of Japanese descent? If not, he's a total butthead.
I am impressed with these rants. I actually just had a similarly frustrating experience with one of my good friends. A friend of ours who is always accomodating our needs came to visit. She got tickets to the Jazz game from a friend and invited him and me to go. He showed up at the house where we were waiting for him twenty minutes before the start of the game. Then ate and talked while we waited. We ended up missing the first half. I talked to him about it the next day, letting him know that even though she would never say anything, she was very disappointed in him. He promised to try and be more considerate.
The next week another friend had a piano recital that I invited him to attend. Ten minutes before the recital started I went to get him. He was in the shower. We missed the first third of the numbers. He said, after noticing my thinly veiled annoyance, "You just have to tell me when we have to be on time to something."
Um, how about whenever it's not "your" thing?
Pooh on him.
That's all I have to say.
Pooh on him.
I've been thinking more about this, and I think the person is incredibly immature, meaning he is incapable of thinking of anyone other than himself. Maybe you need to make the person aware, in a nice, calm, and loving way (like I would do to my kids) that he is being a jerk and inconveniencing others.
You have to talk to him like he's three. "Um, Jerk, we had an appointment set for 5:00. You are twenty minutes late. That means we have been waiting for you, and I feel frustrated about that." Then, when he says, "Huh." or something like that, you say, "This would be a very good time for you to apologize, and try not to do it again." I wonder if it will work. It's worth a try, and then you don't feel quite so frustrated, unless he just stares at you with his mouth hanging open like he has no idea what planet you just came in from. Trust me, that could easily happen too.
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