Francis, the Christmas Fish

As soon as I arrived to Brother 1 and Sister-in-law's place for Thanksgiving, Brother 1 started showing me the Christmas decorations. He was trying to show me the things that they had purchased, but I couldn't take my eyes off the odd decoration. The one that didn't quite seem to fit, and the one that was far superior to any of the purchases he was showing me. It was a fish. Wearing a Santa hat.

I held it up, and said, "What about this? Where did you get this?" He explained that I was holding Francis, the Christmas fish. Earlier this month, he and Sister-in-law were babysitting Sil's nieces and nephews. They pulled out a bunch of felt and sewing materials to make Christmas decorations. While Sil and the kids were stapling pieces of felt together to make stockings, B1 was sewing a fish. Sil asked what B1 was making, and without missing a beat, he replied, "I'm making Francis, the Christmas fish." Turning to the kids, he asked, "Have you ever heard the story of Francis, the Christmas fish?" His nephew responded, "I have!" B1 started to think that maybe there was a Francis, the Christmas fish story, so he asked his nephew, "Would you like to tell us the story?" At that point, the nephew admitted that he couldn't actually quite remember how it went...

I immediately loved Francis, the Christmas fish, so I made my own while our turkey and Thanksgiving meal were cooking. During the day, I was talking to my dad and I told the story of Francis, the Christmas fish to him. He was very excited about it all, and decided that over the Christmas break, we'll all have to make our own Francis the Christmas fishes.

The next day, in Maryland, Dad went out to lunch with Mom and Brother 3. After lunch, they paid a visit to the little gift shop attached to the restaurant. There were many Christmas decorations, but a certain decoration seemed to be lacking. My dad asked the clerk, "Do you have any Francis, the Christmas fish ornaments?" She said they didn't. He asked if she had ever heard of them. She said that she had. So he asked, "Can you tell me the story behind them?" After a pause, she said, "I just can't remember it."

This year, it will be my family's task to invent and circulate the Francis the Christmas fish story. I expect it to see as much success as the Grinch Who Stole Christmas... Except that Francis is a kind, fish. A kind fish with magical powers, and when all the little kiddies are tucked into their beds on Christmas Eve...

20 comments:

edgy killer bunny said...

So, wait. Aren't you going to tell us the story of Francis, the Christmas Fish? I openly acknowledge I have never heard of him before.

Cicada said...

Uh, there is no story yet. We still have to make it up.

ambrosia ananas said...

I congratulate you and your family on creating your own bit of Christmas culture. And on lying to and deceiving the masses. Isn't that what Christmas is all about?

Th. said...

.

Are you sure it's not Frances?

JB said...

Hey, great idea! Please post the story when you come up with it. One more Christmas story is welcome to join my book of myths and legends. And true stories like the ones about fairies and water nymphs.

Squirrel Boy said...

Cicada, you have one of the coolest families of all time.

Cicada said...

Th.

It's either. Since we made up the story, I suppose we have the right to spell it however we like, right?

Limon said...

I LOVE the story of Francis the Christmas Fish. It's been a while since I have heard it, though. So is there a pattern I can buy to make my own Francis the Christmas Fish? or Frances the Christmas Fishette?

Limon said...

And is it just me, or does that fish have a striking resemblance to the new Cicada picture?

Sophie Hayes said...

I have nothing topical to say really, except that yours is a truly brilliant exercise to spread Christmas joy and lying. Francis the Christmas Fish--brilliant.

So, hi there Babe. I know nothing of blog-comment protocol, and I wanted to say hello and I love you, but I have not your email address.

I think we should talk--about Francis if need be, but about anything really.

I would like to say more, but I recognize this is not the appropriate forum.

With love,
Sophie and Francis

Cicada said...

Sophie,

I just sent an email to the only yahoo account that I know to be yours. Not to post your address on the internet or anything, but it has something to do with being a depthless prostitute... or so says thesaurus.com when I plug in the words to your email address.

If that's not your address, you can always reach me at first.last@gmail.com (meaning my first name [dot] my last name). And Francis the Christmas Fish made me think of you. As do many, many things.

Tolkien Boy said...

Does Francis the Christmas Fish have any affiliation with Chester the Christmas Angora Bunny? I only ask for clarification.

Stupidramblings said...

I don't like the fish. It makes me think of a very long joke I told once...

Cicada said...

TB,

I think it might have something to do with Chesty, the Christmas Cat...

Stupid,

Since I don't know what you're referring to, I can only be insulted by the fact that you don't like my adorable Christmas fish. A plague on you.

daltongirl said...

So I opened up this post so the photo of Francis would be visible to passersby.

Kids: What is THAT?

Me: That's Francis, the Christmas Fish.

Kids: Huh?

Me: Francis. Have you heard of him?

Kids: Francis the Christmas Fish?

Me: Yeah. Have you heard of him? Do you know the story?

Kids: No.

Me: Are you sure? It's Francis the Christmas Fish! Are you sure you haven't heard that story?

Kids: Yes.

So at least they're honest. Or else they forgot that they heard the story somewhere. They love him, btw. And they want one. Do you think Shopko is carrying them yet?

Ruth said...

You want to go into business with me and make big bucks mass marketing Francis and his story?

Cicada said...

Ruth,

Depends who you are, I guess.

Stupidramblings said...

Frances' real name is Conrad...he was a cobbler who prepared a pair of shoes for his Lord...beggar woman came by--he gave her the shoes...tired old man came by and he gave him a meal...later on his Lord dropped by. He asked why the Lord hadn't visited him...The Lord said he had been by three times and been served each time...

Like that kind of christmas story?

Or is it the Mary-let-me-hold-her-baby kind...

Ruth said...

Well, considering Ruth is my real name and I worked with you at IS and I'm married to Squirrel Boy, you probably know me. ;)

But I doubt you'd want to go into business with me. I lack the killer instinct.

Cicada said...

Oh, that Ruth. You usually sign my blog under your code name, so I didn't think it was actually you...