I Don't Do My Hair

So here's a funny story that I haven't shared yet. A little while ago---like a couple years ago maybe---I went over to my friend Jenny's house after getting a haircut. She said something along the lines of, "Your hair looks so cute like that, and you never do your hair!"

I took the compliment and thought long and hard about the insult part of it. It was true that sometimes I wasn't 100 percent at my hair routine, but to say that I never do my hair was going a little too far! I don't even think I was a work-at-homer at the time. (Now, it would be fairly accurate to say that I never do my hair. Sorry Murray. I'll be better.)

In December (in fact, the night I got together with everyone at the Communal) I got another new haircut, and when Jenny saw me, she again complimented me on my great hair and said something like, "But you don't do your hair. You did it tonight, though, right?"

I finally decided to address the issue and said something like, "Jenny. I do my hair. You've mentioned me not doing my hair before, but I do my hair!"

And then Jenny's whole weltanschauung totally fell apart. "What?? You told me you don't do your hair! This whole time, I've believed that you have this fantastic wonderful hair where you just wake up and it looks like that! And you don't have to do anything! That you just get out of the shower and it does that! I've told every single friend I've ever had about you. I talk to my hair dresser about you, and she tells me that people like you don't exist but I'm like no, my friend Cicada! She just wakes up and her hair is amazing!"

And two years of hurt and heartache were instantly healed. Hearts were touched. Tears were shed. A friendship was restored to its fullest measure.

I don't know how Jenny ever got the idea that I don't do my hair, but I have two possible explanations.

1) There are very very few times when the stars align and my hair dries naturally, and it actually looks presentable. If Jenny saw me on one of those days and asked me about my hair, I may have told her that it just dried like that, but not stressed the astronomical involvement in that happening. And then she may have assumed that that's what my hair always did.

2) Sometimes my hair is straight. Sometimes it's wavy, since my friend / old mission companion Jill taught me to scrunch it while blow drying. So if she happened to see me on a scrunched day, and asked me if that was "natural" I would have said yes, because I would have thought she was referring to the curls, and my hair is technically naturally wavy. (As opposed to becoming curly by using a curling iron or curlers.) If all I'm using for my hair is a blow dryer and/or brush, I classify whatever happens as "natural." If I use a flat iron, curling iron, or curlers, I will not classify it as natural.

So there you go. Contrary to popular belief (of Jenny's entire circle of friends and hair dresser) I am not the (mythical) type of person who can just get up and go with perfect hair.

Off to BlogHer!

Tomorrow I leave for BlogHer. I know that I'm not a rock star blogger or anything (especially with my sporadic posting lately) so I'll be honest. I'm going to the conference to network and peddle my wares. There's no shame in that.

Of course, I'll be going with this cast on. Unfortunate, except for the fact that I'm totally stuffing it full of cocaine that should get me a tidy profit from all the SAHMs.

(Dear law enforcement: I'm totally kidding. Also I flushed down all of my leftover percocet from my foot surgeries because that's the kind of person I am, even though I could totally sell them on the street for lots of cash.)

BUT, I am milking it for all it's worth, so I called the airport today to let them know that I need a wheelchair, and for the first time in my life, I'm going to get on PRIORITY BOARDING!! And Murray can wheel me in all the way up to the gate! (In other milking it for all it's worth news, I will definitely be using my handicapped status to enhance our Disneyland experience this fall, even though I should be feeling fine, but my temporary handicapped parking sticker says I'll be crippled till November.)

Now, how do I make a cast look good for a conference? I turn it into a go-go boot, that's how. Check it out.


I'm sure to post more full body shots from the conference. I used an old pair of patterned tights to do this. But Murray, who is a husband who has opinions on this sort of thing, encouraged me to buy actual knee-high socks so that everything looked a little nicer. So I did. Right now I'm wearing a stripey pair, but for the conference, I should be wearing a pair that looks similar to the picture.

Probably the hardest thing about this conference will be leaving my 6-month old babe. (Sorry Murray---I will miss you, too, but remember that you have gone on THREE trips without me since we've known each other, so this is my turn.) But just to get me through, you can be sure I'll be watching this video over and over and over again.

(Gulliver doesn't put hard things in his mouth---only soft things. So although he was slightly fussy the other night because of teething, he wouldn't chew on the frozen teething ring we gave him. So we found something else to do with the teething ring...)

My Goal

(My nephew performing a lobotomy on the baby; picture stolen from here.)

Today I received a surprise visit from my brother and sister-in-law (Captain Fabuloso and Captain Mom) with my niece and nephew (Bean and V). They were on their way back to SLC from California and needed to stop and let the kids out of the car for a bit. I'm sure it wasn't as fun a stop as it would have been if Murray were around. Bean just had to satisfy himself by playing with Murray's toys. (The life size and authentic Kermit the Frog is a favorite.)

All the kids bond with Murray. I was talking to Captain M about it. For some reason, they all just love him.

EXAMPLES:

For Pioneer Day, I ended up taking the day off after all and we went to a park with Jenny and Ed and kids. And Savvy basically didn't let go of Murray's hand for most of the day. I can understand that because Murray has drawn for her a couple of times. They've bonded. And really, the hand holding was precious. Even more precious was the hand holding and running through the park as Savvy would yell, "Fast as you can! Fast as you can!" So precious.

Ethan managed to spend more time adoring a drinking fountain than Murray, but I know that his day is coming up soon, too, that he'll fall in love with Murray. It happens to us all.

Last Friday, we went up to an outdoor movie with PE and her kids. I think I successfully have her 8-yr-old's devotion, but apparently her 3-yr-old loves Murray most. On their way up, he said that he didn't want to play with me because I am rude to him (when I come over to visit, I visit with his mom and don't pay much attention to him, and distract his mom's attention from him, so you can understand how I'm so rude). But he was looking forward to playing with Murray. They've barely even TALKED before. Sure enough, as soon as they ran up to us, he was spending his time playing with Murray.



I may be the goat whisperer, but Murray is the kid whisperer, which is actually much more practical. I'm sure I'll get there.

But what this post is really supposed to be about is how my sister-in-law has set the bar for me for child bearing. After less than six months, my niece is the most adorable, best-natured, prettiest, and fattest baby on earth. If I weren't working on my own right now, I might just steal her. How can you even resist this cuteness? Now I have a concrete goal to work towards myself!!

Last time I was over at their house, I took the opportunity to document her rolls as best as possible.

V with Aunt Brat. Did I mention that V never stops smiling. She's the prettiest.

Her butt crack is uncontainable. I think that I might have to add baby butt crack to my list of cutest things on earth.

Documenting the rolls.

Excuse me now while I go eat a block of cheese and drink some cream. I read in my pregnancy book today that my baby is starting to grow fat now, so I have to do my part.

Is it Friday yet?

Almost every day this week has felt like Friday. I'm not quite sure why. Usually I don't work on Wednesdays, but I worked yesterday so that I could take Friday off to spend time with Switchback who came into town yesterday.

Switchback hasn't contacted any of her other Utah friends to let them know that she's here, which is really flattering, and I will take that secret to the grave.

Today, she has a wedding to attend in Salt Lake. There was no way for us both to get up to Salt Lake (from Springville) today and both have cars, so I made today Take Your Friend to Work Day. It was fun. We came to work at 1:00. I should do that more often. She did homework in the cafeteria until the cafeteria closed, and then she came into my office to do homework. She wasn't chatty or needy, which was nice because I was actually able to work on work.

And I'm still working on work, by the way. It's almost 9:00. Switchback is just supposed to come get me when she's done with the wedding reception. This is the downside of coming in to work at 1:00, I guess. Except that it doesn't seem that late at all to me, and the workday has gone by really quickly, and I'm getting a lot done. (I'm still getting stuff done, by the way, but my computer is doing all my work for me and I have to wait till my computer is done doing my work until I can make it do more work.)

These are pictures of Switchback in my office. Isn't that a trip? In the first one, she doesn't know that I'm taking her picture. I'm sly that way.

(I have crazy eyes in the picture, but that's just me thinking, "I sure hope that Switchback stops flipping off the camera before this picture gets taken because this is my work computer and I don't want a picture of someone flipping the camera off to be on my work computer.")

If you're getting an eerie sense of déjà vu right now, it may have something to do with the fact that last year, Switchback and I got together right after I wrote my Threadless post, too. That year it was a Singles Sucka Tour. I don't know what it is this year... If she had told me last year on our Sucka Tour that next year she'd come and visit me and my husband, I would have thought she was crazy, and I would have added that I'm not the type of person to meet and marry someone in less than a year. But of course, when you know you've got a good thing, why wait?

On our agenda for this year's reunion is the following:

Molten Lava Chocolate Cakes (done last night)
Tour of Murray's work place (done this morning)
Tour of my work place (done today)
Test driving a Smart Car
Snowshoeing or other playing in the mountain snow
Pizzeria 712
Maestro Gelato
Easter Egg Hunt, sponsored and prepared by Switchback
Crafting
One or several Muppets movie(s)
Birthday dinner for Murray with my siblings
Spontaneity

I love our vacation traditions. Be prepared to get déjà vu again when we get together with Switchback for Pioneer Day.

Lucky Guy

Murray Terreno di Amore is the luckiest guy on earth. See Exhibit A.

Exhibit A: The Wife.

That's right. He's married to me. The lucky sucker!

I'm at home sick today. Hey, wasn't I at home sick last week? Why yes, I was, thank you for asking. Last week, it was pounding headache, sore throat, fever, and body aches. But that was so last week. This week, probably due to not giving myself time to get over being sick last week, it's fire lung (the official medical term to describe how my lungs feel), no voice (which is kindof fun and at least gives absolute authenticity when you call in sick to work), and constant cough. Plus Nyquil addiction.

Today I'm treating myself differently than I did last week when I was sick. Last week, I decided to be productive despite my sickness, and even ventured outside the home a couple times to run some much needed errands. Even though I was sick, I technically put in a good 15 hours of work between the two days I stayed home. Today I'm trying a completely different way. I have had---count 'em---three naps today. I cannot possibly remember the last time that I had three naps in one day, but I was probably still wearing diapers at the time. I've made lots of progress on my book club book (A Conspiracy of Paper, which I already recommend, not having yet completed it). And I talked (whispered, really) to my mom on the phone. That's about it.

Through it all, Murray has taken great care of me. I can't believe he hasn't gotten sick yet. Last week he brought me soup from Rumbi's. Today for lunch, be brought me soup from Zupa's. This guy's got good taste! Most of all, he's been great at being affectionate, doting, and loving, even though I look like crap. (See Exhibit A again.)

(Although I will be staying home from work tomorrow too [which is my normal day off from work] I make no promises not to start cleaning up and organizing the guest room/storage room in preparation for Switchback coming to visit in two weeks.)

Cinderella, Giselle, Snow White, Great-Grandma

When I was a little girl, I always thought that it would be the coolest thing to be able to call birds and have them land on my finger like the princesses in Disney. The farthest I ever really got with that was training chipmunks to climb on top of my head to eat peanuts. I should be grateful for what I've had, but really, I still want birds to come and land on my finger. I'll admit it.

Yesterday, my mom sent me this picture of my great grandma. Apparently she could sing to birds and have them come land on her finger. So apparently it's not only in cartoons and it's not only princesses. At point point, she tamed a whole family of fly catchers in her backyard, and she'd go out with a container of milk, call the little birdies over, and they'd drink from her container.


Don't think that the fly swatter in this picture is menacing. She was just being clever: Fly catchers in both hands.

You can see from this picture also that she's not young. So apparently I have my whole life to work on this goal. You'd better believe this is making it to my list of things to do before I die.