Serve with Mashed Potatoes and Gravy

Okay, if you didn't read that last post, PLEASE read this.

DISCLAIMER: I express strong opinions here which are entirely my own, and I make no effort to be diplomatic. If you have a different opinion from me, my intent is not to offend, but you can hardly blame me for how I feel about this subject!

Okay. Phew. Now that THAT's out of the way.

So I know that I've talked about health insurance before. It's tricky when you're self employed. And here in Utah, there's no maternity coverage. So if I wanted to have an epidural, I would have to plan on spending about $2000.

That seems like an awful lot of money to spend on something that only lasts a few hours. And sometimes they're not even administered properly and so I wouldn't get the relief anyway, and I would STILL have to pay for it. So I may as well spend the money on something I really WANT instead of on the anesthesiologist.

In this case, this is what I really want:

Isn't it beautiful? It's the only rocker/recliner I've ever seen that I wouldn't be embarrassed to have in my home (that's not the part that I thought might offend some of you... but it might, too, I guess).

So the point of this whole post is actually to tell you about what we're doing to PREPARE for natural child birth. My doctor and her PA both told me that if I don't prepare, it won't matter HOW much the epidural costs, I will get one. Okay. So I signed us up for a hypnobirthing class. By all accounts, this is an excellent method to help you through natural child birth.

I had already read the book before going to the first class, so I was pretty prepared. Not only was I prepared for the good stuff that I could buy into, but I was also prepared for the anti-medical stuff, that I don't have as much of a tolerance for. I know that the medical system isn't perfect, but I also know that swinging totally the other way and resisting any and all medical help isn't the answer, either. (It helps that we have a doctor whose opinions we really trust, and who we know has our best interests in mind.)

What we WEREN'T prepared for was the pot roast.

At our second class in the home of our hypnobirthing instructor, as soon as everyone was comfortably seated, our instructor apologized for any lingering smell of pot roast, explaining, "I've been processing placenta today, so you might still be able to smell it." She went on to describe what she does. She cooks the placenta, then dries the placenta, then pulverizes the placenta, and then encapsulates the placenta into gel gaps so that you can ingest it as pills.

(To do all of this, you need a license, and so to my minor relief, she also explained the process of how she then has to clean and sterilize the entire kitchen and any tools used... but you'd better believe I won't be drinking another glass of water in her house again!!)

This, my friends, is what we call CANNIBALISM! (This is the part where you may choose to be offended if you are a placenta-eater.) Oh my GOSH! There are NO WORDS! Except that there ARE words, and those words are HOLY CRAP, I HAVE SMELLED THE SMELL OF HUMAN FLESH THAT HAS BEEN ROASTED FOR THE PURPOSE OF EATING!!

I HAVE SMELLED CANNIBALISM!!

And the rest of that evening, any time we were doing a relaxation exercise, I couldn't actually relax because just as I was relaxing,

OHMYGOSH I JUST GOT ANOTHER WHIFF OF POT ROAST!

(If I could make that text flashing, I WOULD because THAT is how I felt.)

Okay, so the REASONING is that there are nutrients in the placenta. (Which, after we told my doctor about this today, and after she expressed the appropriate amount of horror, she pointed out that there probably aren't very many nutrients LEFT once you process it.) But you know what? There are also nutrients EVERYWHERE in the human body, and it's not as if I'm going to request my gallbladder once it's removed so that I can stew it up. I also didn't keep my bunions (but there was calcium in those boney outgrowths! And now I've lost that calcium FOREVER). And if Murray had to have a leg amputated (because we talk about weird stuff like this), it's not as if we'd roast up the thigh muscle for a family dinner!

Hey, we talk about burial vs. cremation vs. making dead bodies into diamonds in my family, too. Now this is a FOURTH alternative that we'd never considered. Maybe when my mom dies, we can just process her into pills and then we can all EAT OUR OWN MOTHER! Then we can all benefit from the source from whence we originally came.

I am scarred for life.

Have YOU ever smelled the smell of roasting human flesh?

Some Thoughts on This Pregnancy...

Right now, I am 39 weeks pregnant. My due date is Monday, March 28. So I figured I should do a recap of this whole pregnancy, more for my sake than for yours, but feel free to read and maybe even enjoy it!

So this pregnancy started off a little differently than Gulliver's. I did throw up (once!) with Gulliver, and I haven't thrown up at all with this pregnancy. But I did feel like my stomach would get twisted in knots early on in this pregnancy. It was hard for me to eat much without feeling sick afterwards, and unfortunately it was all the healthiest foods (that I was craving because it was summer!) that were the worst offenders, like fruits and vegetables. I could manage grapes without getting sick. Otherwise, I'd have a lot of plain foods and carbs like breads.

That cleared up at about 12-14 weeks, which was nice. The middle of my pregnancy progressed without much interesting to report---quick doctor's visits, no problems eating, the assumption that I'd have gestational diabetes during the last third, and very little overall discomfort. I even began to wonder just when it was that I got so sore last time that I couldn't roll over in bed without Murray's help.

Oh, I did have sciatic nerve pain (not so much that it really interferes with anything I need to do, but it made things like sitting on the floor, bending over, and cleaning Gulliver's toys up a little more challenging). But it actually cleared up for the most part at a certain point. In future pregnancies, when I read back on this, I'll wish I made a note of when it started and when it ended, but I can't remember anymore!

A pretty common theme with both my pregnancies so far is that I don't tend to look as pregnant as I am. I'll be honest---a lot of that is probably weight. But I've also seen women who are about my same weight, and they CAN look a lot more pregnant than I look. I chalk it up to the fact that I have a long torso and short legs.

When I entered my third trimester, I was surprised by two things. First, I was surprised to find out that I did NOT have gestational diabetes, and I wasn't even borderline. That was a big shock. I'd been planning recipes and meals to eat during that time AND I was slightly looking forward to it because it would mean that I'd be really really good about my eating. (To prepare for this, however, I ate a cupcake from my favorite cupcake place, Cupcake Chic almost every day.)

Second, I was surprised that I still didn't need Murray to turn me over in bed, and wondered if I just made that up the first time.

But by about week 32, I think I suddenly had to always have a pillow between my knees when sleeping, and it's gotten worse and worse. I'm not complaining, but I am saying that definitely the last couple of months of pregnancy is when the discomfort starts kicking in for me.

Around that same time, all of a sudden EVERYTHING was harder. Bending down, picking up Gulliver, I felt like I could hardly do anything, and that I was going to be like that for the rest of my pregnancy. But then it kindof stopped, and things got easier for me again, so I assume that the baby was just in a weird position for a few days.

Still, right now, I'm at the point where it really really is a big help if Murray will put on my pants for me.

At week 35/36, I had my gallbladder attacks and spent a little time in the hospital. And so while I didn't have to follow a gestational diabetes diet, I was put on a low fat diet (25 gr a day) instead. Which, I must say, I am enjoying for the sense of control that it gives me and for the fact that it will help me avoid putting on unnecessary weight at the end of my pregnancy (although I don't regret enjoying every single one of those cupcakes now that I can't... I knew I was preparing for SOMETHING). Also? The low fat diet saves me from MINI EGG SEASON, which is the WORST. Since I have to continue eating low fat until my gallbladder can come out 6 weeks after I have the baby, I'm looking forward to the diet helping me to lose weight AFTER the baby and while I'm nursing. Fingers crossed on that one!

Right now, I feel like I'm eating the SAME THINGS EVERY DAY. I'm working like a maniac trying to get all my projects done before the baby comes, so that doesn't leave too much time to cook. So to be totally honest, we haven't been having proper meals around here very much. I'll just make myself soup or pasta, have some yogurt and fruit, and call it a meal. I can't WAIT till my mom gets here on Monday and can start doing meals for us!! I welcome her creativity!

So I guess that basically summarizes most of the physical aspects of this pregnancy. At my first cervical check (guys can stop reading here if they'd prefer), I was about 2.5 cm dilated and 70% effaced. I'm now about 3 cm and 80%. My doctor figures that the baby will come pretty quickly once my water breaks. But since she said that, I have all these dreams about my water breaking. I was talking about water breaking with my mother-in-law and how you don't actually hear about it happening in public THAT often. She said that she always heard that if you're in the grocery store when it happens, just grab a jar of pickles and drop it. Then everyone will just think that all the mess is from the pickles. I told her that I should BUY a jar of pickles and just bring it everywhere with me. So if my water breaks in the middle of church, I can just drop my pickles and say, "Oh no! I dropped my jar of pickles!! Well.... gotta go!!"

I'm VERY glad that this baby has stayed put so far. I'm getting to the point where I feel like I'm wrapping up most of my work projects, and that everything will be manageable (there's only one project that should go beyond the baby's birth, but it's my favorite project of the year, and Murray will actually be helping out with it quite a bit). And my mom comes out on the due date. So as long as I don't go into labor in the next few days, then my mom will be able to be here and to help. And we MIGHT even have a couple of days for activities like bowling, manicures, and a trip to the dinosaur museum, all of which we did in trying to get Gulliver to come (and none of which worked, by the way).

On the whole, I actually love being pregnant. Even with the discomforts I'm feeling now. I look forward to doing this a couple more times!!

My Sudden Vacation

Hello all! I'm writing you from the priciest vacation resort I have ever stayed in, also known as the Hospital! And now is when you start scrolling down, looking for pictures of my second born. Don't bother---she's not born yet. She is still safely kicking me, even as I type.

No, I came to the hospital for another, less exciting reason. The short version is that I had a gallbladder attack that made my pancreas very angry, and so I've been here for the past three days and nights, enjoying the most expensive vacation of my life (which, thanks to Aflac, which we had in place for the baby, will be significantly less expensive than it could have been).

Here are some interesting tid bits and thoughts that I would like to share with you about my stay.

******

First of all, after my first gallbladder attack and ER visit on Wednesday, I was not prepared for the two subsequent gall bladder attacks I would have in the three days following. And had I been properly prepared for these attacks, I would have been told to tough it out, and it really sucks, but there's nothing they can do until the baby comes. This is what I was told when we came back to the ER on Saturday, when the pain was unbearable and I was convinced that something was definitely very wrong.

Until they got the test results about four hours later and said, "Oh wait! Nope! Just kidding. This IS serious and we're admitting you to the hospital."

My take-home lesson of course, is listen to my body, use good sense, and if I'm 36 weeks pregnant and in the worst pain of my life, there is no need to let pride keep me from calling Uncle and heading into the ER, even if I'll be told for the next several hours that I was just supposed to tough it out.

******

During this whole gallbladder ordeal, I have reflected many times on my aunt's gallbladder removal when I was 8 years old (I am the proud FOURTH generation of women on my dad's side of the family to need a gallbladder removal---thankfully it still won't need to happen before the baby comes). There is one main reason that I remember visiting her in the hospital post-surgery, and one main reason that my memory has been the topic of much conversation over the past week. You see, when I was a sweet young 8-yr-old girl, my not-so-sweet, young, 10-yr-old brother told me an inappropriate joke. That we both thought was extremely funny at the time. So funny in fact, that I felt I should share it with my aunt in the hospital in the presence of her guests (none of us can remember who the guests were though). And the joke caused her to laugh till she was crying, and she kept saying, "Cicada! Stop! Stop telling this joke!" which I thought meant that she was REALLY enjoying it, so I made sure to tell it through to completion. Well, I'm sorry to say that the joke is entirely too inappropriate to share on the blog, so you'll never know what it was. But I HAVE repeated it to most of my family members this week as I've shared this memory with them all, and it has brought most of us to tears. Less because of the joke itself, and more because of the image of an 8-yr-old sharing the joke with her poor aunt in mixed company.

******

So let's talk insurance! The GOOD news is that I got lazy this year and did not change our insurance coverage, even though it would have meant a reduction in monthly premiums. It would also have meant that we would spend less during the year in overall medical expenses (baby excluded) IF we had a year like we had last year (well baby visits, a trip to the ER for stitches, and a few miscellaneous doctor's visits for me). It would have meant spending MORE in case of serious medical issues or accidents. Well, call it laziness, call it intuition, call it inspiration, I didn't change my policy. So while we still have to meet a hefty hefty deductible (rhymes with sore mouth and collars), that deductible is 1) for me and both children AND 2) for the whole year AND 3) means that everything else (baby delivery excluded) is covered at 100 percent! So now's the time to start making a medical wish-list of things that can be done this year. And if Gulliver needs stitches again, bring 'em on!

The OTHER good insurance news, as I mentioned above, is that we have an Aflac policy for me that was meant to help offset costs for the baby! We certainly didn't anticipate using it for anything else (besides baby #1, I have never needed to stay in the hospital!) but half way through this process, we realized, oh my goodness, there is a pay-out for this, too! So we can basically cut that [sore mouth and collar] deductible in half! Major bonus.

******

About the food. You know that people complain about hospital food. But do you know what is way worse than hospital food? No food! Because the pancreas is responsible for the enzymes needed in digestion, and because my pancreas was terribly insulted, we needed to give my pancreas a rest. For over 12 hours, that meant absolutely nothing. Not even ice chips. And then, over 24 hours after I'd last eaten anything, I was finally granted ice chips and 1/2 a popsicle every 8 hours. Wahooo! The next day, I was upgraded to clear liquids and THEN to full liquids. Bring it ON. I have never enjoyed Jell-O or chicken broth or PUDDING so much in my LIFE.

You would think that with all these restrictions, and with a baby eating away my body's stores, that I would have lost a little weight. But the bed (which has been secretly weighing me without my knowledge or consent this whole time!) reveals that I have gained three pounds. Who knew! Win for the baby, I guess!

******

As you're in the hospital for a few days, you get pretty bored pretty quickly. That is why the realization Sunday afternoon that it was OSCARS NIGHT was a huge and fantastic realization! Murray and I had a two-person Oscars party together, complete with 1/2 a popsicle and ice chips! In fine Murray tradition, he tried to fudge his numbers a little, claiming that he got more predictions right than he actually did, but don't worry. I kept him honest and reminded him of the ones he definitely got wrong. We were both excited that our prediction (and the favored film) won best picture. We loved The King's Speech. We are less excited that the decision has been made to censor it for American audiences by muting 2 of the 5 f-words to make it PG-13. I mean, I'm all about making it PG-13, but I really felt that in context, the language should not have made it R in the first place.

******

Murray's family has been wonderful to take care of Gulliver during this time. They live pretty close to the hospital, which is also very convenient. Gulliver has come to visit a couple of times. He cut his ear on his first day with Grandpa, which made me feel more sorry for Grandpa than it did for Gulliver. When Gulliver came to see me, I asked about his owie. Completely oblivious to his ear, he immediately pointed to the IV tubes in my arm, VERY concerned. We think it's funny that he knows this is an owie, because how does he know they're going into my body instead of just taped on top? Anyway, as a very concerned 2-yr-old, he made sure to give them a couple good tugs to see if he could take care of it himself. Much appreciated, Gulliver. Now I've got some good bruising there to show off as a trophy when I get out of this joint.

******

Speaking of getting out of this joint! I should get out of here today!! My blood work came back this morning and everything is back to normal. Yippeeeeeeee! Now it's simply a matter of maintaining a low-fat diet (and hopefully avoiding any further attacks) until the baby comes, and until I have the gallbladder surgery 2 weeks later! (So long Mini Eggs! Hello Marshmallow Peeps!)

(That is SO NOT EVEN CLOSE to an acceptable substitution, for the record, but NOTHING is worth the pain, not even my beloved of all candies, Mini Eggs.)

So that I think about wraps up my thoughts and feelings so far on my stay here! The staff have been excellent and overall, I've been well taken care of here! Now I just have to get ready to COME BACK here possibly some time this month! And I'll even share some pictures of that hospital stay with you. I think it's okay not to share any pictures of THIS hospital stay.

Car Seat

Okay, Internets. I'm at work, working hard at a MASSIVE catch up game, after spontaneously leaving the office last Wednesday (or Tuesday?), going home, crashing, and ALMOST DYING OF HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE ILLNESS.

Not really almost dying, but I wanted to die. Among the downsides of being self employed is that it's actually really hard to just call in sick. Thankfully, my clients were all incredibly understanding, and let me have time off to be sick.

My brother, El Senor, was not so understanding, and went forward with his wedding yesterday, despite my illness (thankfully by then, it had cleared up enough that I was in fact able to leave the house).

Congrats to El Senor and La Senora!! I'll come out with a post all about them soon, I promise!

But this post is about ME.

ME ME ME.

Okay, but here's a picture of Gulliver from the wedding.

Okay, NOW onto me.

And when I say "me" I mean, the baby on her way, because she is stressing me out a little. Today I had my 30-week checkup, which means that I'm now on the 2-week schedule. And then, just after a few appointments on the 2-week schedule, I'll be on the 1-week schedule. And then, just after a few appointments on the 1-week schedule, I will have a whole new human being for whom I am responsible!!

And that's if she comes ON TIME!! What if she comes EARLY???? I don't even want to think about it.

So anywho, we really haven't done much to prepare for her arrival. But I had better make a list soon.

One thing on my list is to buy a car seat for her. And this is where you come in. I would like you to simplify my process by telling me which car seat I am supposed to buy. Please chime in now.

To consider: I would like the carrier type so that she can stay asleep when she falls asleep in it. We also own a Honda Civic, and it will be one of two car seats in the back, and will more than likely have to be put on the side, not in the middle seat. I'm okay with buying a smaller type, since I would likely prefer to purchase a Britax seat to match Gulliver's when she's big enough to fit into it and move her into that (Gulliver moved into his around 7 or 8 months).

Go.

Belly Picture

I know you're all dying for a belly picture, to remind you all that I am actually pregnant. Well here's one! Giving baby all the love she can get at Five Guys!

Our Family Update!

Yay! We are very excited to know that we're expecting a little girl at the end of March! Murray can now sleep easy, knowing that we'll have one of each.

In Canada, you get free babies.

So among the many things about the American healthcare system that bother me is that there is no way to actually properly financially prepare for anything. You can't know the price of having a baby, for example, because there are so many people involved with individual fees.

Here's what we knew we could expect:

Doctor's fee (prenatal care and delivery): $2100

Hospital stay, 48 hours: $4900 (less if we only stay 24 hours, but if we're preparing, we may as well prepare for the most possible)

Epidural: $2000 (estimate)

So that is what we were looking at. About $9000 IF I get an epidural. About $7000 without. (NOW can you see why it's actually an issue of money to get one or not? It's not like it's a $2000-decision. It's a $2000-MORE-than-what-we're-already-paying decision.)

Only one thing that neither of us had accounted for were other costs that are not included in this. And these are things that you don't expect, necessarily, because no one has told you about them, and no one informs you, "By the way, we're going to do this and it's going to cost you $XXX.XX." They just do it and send you the bill.

Murray called me VERY concerned this week to inform me that we got a bill from Lab Corp for lab work that matched up with the date of my first visit to the doctor. Yes, I remember that they took blood. And yes, I remember that at my most recent visit to the doctor, she told me that all my work came back looking good; everything was positive that was supposed to be positive, and everything was negative that was supposed to be negative.

What Murray was most concerned about was an item on the bill called "Chlamydia Amplification." This cost $131.50. Now for someone who is one hundred percent sure his wife doesn't have any STDs, I'm sure this item came as an absolute shocker for Murray, because why does Chlamydia need to be amplified if you don't have it?? Of course I don't have it, and I explained to Murray that I'm sure this is a test that legally HAS to be done so that STDs don't get transmitted to babies. But still. It does suck to have to pay $131.50 for someone to test you for Chlamydia, which you've done a really good job of avoiding your whole life.

Anyway, the total bill was $616.70.

At my next doctor's appointment, we will have our ultrasound. For that to be done at our doctor's office, we will receive a bill from the ultrasound technician (anywhere between $220 and $400). The ultrasound tech will then send the ultrasound to a center that will view it and study it and send the results to my doctor. And send me a bill for who knows how much. Who knows, because when does anyone ever inform you of how much you can expect to pay, or even ask your permission?

Then there will be other things to expect (but not actually know how much they will cost). Like getting tested for Gestational Diabetes. I am pretty sure it's a separate charge, and guess what. That orange soda is about $60 a bottle. Not kidding. If I come out positive after the first test, I'm not going to ask for a follow-up test where I can spend another $60 on soda. In fact, I'm really just tempted to ask if I can mix my OWN sugar drink with the needed amount of sugar and substitute it for the soda. Let's face it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be GDS positive again.

(Oh, and by the way, to manage my GDS myself, I will test my blood 4-6 times a day for the last three months of my pregnancy. The test strips cost $1 each, and since this is related to my pregnancy, I don't know that my insurance will help with any of that cost. So I might expect my GDS self-management to cost an extra $300-$400. That's AFTER I got permission from my doctor to manage it myself and forego the biweekly visits to the Diabetes Management Clinic.)

Another thing. I will have to get a shot because my blood is rH negative. How much does that cost?

What about the hospital stay itself? Yes, I know how much the hospital charges for me to stay there. But what tests are done at the hospital that they charge me for separately? How much are they going to charge me for a Tylenol? What are the extra costs that one might incur while staying at the hospital (that again, you're not informed of as they happen; you're only sent the bill afterwards and you realize that that Q-tip cost you $8).

So it's really frustrating. I hope to get together with a friend soon who had a baby last year and also went to my doctor, and paid for everything in cash. I think she's pretty financially organized and I hope that she's got a folder of all her expenses so that I can add it up and get an idea of what we might have to pay for the baby.

Because we have NO CLUE and I think that a system where you can't actually properly financially prepare for service SUCKS.

(And just to let you know so that I don't start getting anonymous donations in the mail, we've saved lots of money and we do have Aflac that will kick in a little help, and we are 100% confident that we have the money to cover everything [and if there are expensive complications, then my insurance will kick in]. It's not that I'm worried that we don't know if we can afford it, it's just that it's frustrating not actually knowing how much something like this will cost us.)

(And just to be clear as well, as a reminder, if you are self employed in Utah there is NO MATERNITY COVERAGE AVAILABLE in any healthcare plan. It's not that we're in this mess because we chose a bad plan. We're in this mess because we chose to start our own business and make our own way in the world.)

(That's why I like to travel lots, so that I can take advantage of the perks of self employment as often as possible to remind myself that I really do actually prefer this.)

First Baby Appointment

We had our first baby appointment today. Last time, we didn't hear the heartbeat the first time, so I didn't get my hopes up this time, but we did! We heard it! It was 160. I can't find what Gulliver's heartbeat was, but I was able to find an old blog post that indicated it was over 140. So I guess we can't count on it being a girl for sure. We'll have to wait about 9 more weeks or so to find out.

This pregnancy will be a little interesting because as I mentioned before, we'll be paying for everything at 100%. For the self-insured, there is NO maternity coverage from any health insurance provider. Help will kick in if something goes wrong, but we can expect to pay for everything if all goes right. At least we got in on Aflac before they closed their supplemental policies to Utahns.

We love our doctor and are thrilled that our insurance situation won't get in the way of her delivering baby number 2. She's also willing to work with us to find ways to bring down costs. For example, if I have gestational diabetes again (which I probably will), I won't have to go to the diabetes center every two weeks this time. I was able to manage the whole thing with diet last time, so I know what I'm doing. I'll just report my numbers directly to my doctor instead of going to biweekly counseling. By the way, she's a family doctor, and I also have to say that I LOVE that our doctor is a family doctor. I highly recommend it. It's just nice that she knows all of us, and there's no separate pediatrician or anything. She's it. And she's wonderful.

The epidural is still a big $2000 question. Our doctor said, of course, that unless I prepare for natural birth, then it doesn't matter HOW much the epidural costs, I will pay it. Not that I was planning on NOT preparing. But still. I already feel like we'll just end up paying for the epidural anyway because right now the only reason for me not getting it is financial. And I'd love to be all passionate about natural childbirth and hop on that trend, but I still do NOT see the appeal of doing it naturally. Please feel free to weigh in. Tonight I bought Ricki Lake's book that changed Dooce's perspective on everything. I haven't made it past the forward yet, but I'm very very not convinced yet.

I think that the best way to go about it is to just dedicate a job, or a couple of jobs, to the epidural. For example, tonight, I need to work on a client's rush job. I don't expect this job to take me more than a few hours. So then mentally (or "physically") I can put the money from this job aside into an "epidural" fund. Three more rush jobs like this and my comfort is all paid for.

I'm leaning towards that solution.

ON THE OTHER HAND, $2000 is still $2000 no matter how I make it. And it's still $2000 I could spend on something else. Here is a list of things that cost $2000:
- two tickets to Europe (I'm being optimistic)
- two tickets to Hawaii + part of the hotel (I've never been)
- a 27" iMac (I don't need one, but STILL)
- an incredibly comfortable, perfect rocking/gliding/nursing chair so that I can take care of the new baby as comfortably as possible
- 4 iPads (no, I wouldn't buy 4 iPads. But STILL)
- 2.5 family trips to Maryland (maybe even 3)
- 6 (?) hours of relative comfort that previous generations lived without during childbirth

What would YOU do?

In case you hadn't heard...

A few people on my maternity question post a little while back had mentioned Aflac as supplemental maternity coverage. (Which, if it relates to my whole "do I pay $2000 for an epidural" question still doesn't solve it because even with Aflac, not having an epidural would still be cash in my hand.) We have known about this and have been planning on taking advantage of it. Unfortunately, every single other would-be pregnant woman in Utah also knows about it and takes advantage of it, which is why it will no longer be offered in Utah.

So if you want to get it, you need to get it before February 15th. Murray, Gulliver and I met with an agent today so that I'm all covered. Luckily we can defer the start date by 90 days. What that means for you is that you can expect a pregnancy announcement from us sometime this summer or fall. Yay!

Oh, what it also means for you is act now if you want one of these policies. Now that we have it, we can keep it in effect for all of our children. It pays for itself as long as the children are born within three years of each other.

If you want to contact our agent, here's his info:

Patrick Pecoraro
801.688.4416

Maternity Advice: Go Nutso (but don't, really)

First of all, I'm not pregnant. Let's just make that clear.

BUT, here's the deal. Murray and I are trying very hard to work out health insurance. (And I will break the knee caps of anyone who claims that our system isn't incredibly, incredibly broken right now.) By the way things are looking right now, it seems as though we may end up with a high deductible plan that doesn't cover maternity. So basically we'll pay for 100 percent of any future babies to come, unless something goes wrong, at which point, we'll be covered.

So we will need to make some decisions based on money. And the big one we're wondering about right now is natural vs. epidural.

Now I KNOW that even saying that, all of your fingers are starting to itch to press the comment button. BUT PAUSE FOR ONE MOMENT TO READ THIS. I welcome any and all comments. But the only ones that we really, REALLY care about are the ones from women who have done it both ways. I know that there will be people who have strong opinions about this, and I just ask that you be respectful of others who have different opinions. This blog has never once been the site of comment nastiness, for which I thank you, my valued readers, and I would hope that we can maintain that record.

As for myself, I loved my epidural, and if I had proper insurance, I'd more than likely do it that way again. But if I'm going to pay $1000-$2000 out of my pocket (read: out of my babies' mouths) to get an epidural, I might start to think about how much 5-6 hours of pain (I'm just giving average here, although I know it could come faster or slower) is really worth to me. Also, I've heard that the recovery from a natural birth takes less time. First of all, what recovery does that refer to? And, again, for those women who have done it both ways, did you find this to be true? Because I figure if that's true, then maybe it really is worth it to trade greater pain upfront for less pain afterwards (also, I looked like a TOAD when I woke up the next morning--true story) especially if that trade meant that I was spending much less money.

So let's have your opinions! I'm anxious to know! And again, preferential consideration is given to women who have done it both ways.

#1 Dad

Okay. So now it is time for the post dedicated completely to Murray because if you think that I was the star of this baby delivery show, you've got another thing coming. Murray has proven yet again to be the world's best dad and father.

First of all was the fact that he brought not just one camera, but an entire back pack filled with cameras to capture the magic of Baby's birth. Murray even bought a special camera just for Baby. Since Polaroid is dead, he found a cool Japanese version that takes credit card sized pictures, Polaroid style. Murray will post these pictures once the tenth and final photo of the first set is taken. Be prepared for some awesomeness.

The cool thing is that he threw this bag of cameras into the car just to go to a non-stress test. We didn't realize we'd be actually having the baby that day. Father's premonition, I'm sure of it.

Upon learning that I would, in fact, be induced on Thursday and we would, in fact, have to cancel class, Murray's first order of business was to call his mom to tell her to come to the hospital and his second order of business was to make all the calls to all our students. He seemed a little stressed, but as soon as that was taken care of, he came alive and seemed ready to have a baby.

During the day, Murray was the most supportive and most loving he could possibly be. He fed me ice chips like nobody's business (I didn't actually need them until after the baby came, so mostly we just made a joke out of it) and he was the appropriate amount of touchy-not-touchy. Without me having to tell him, he touched me at the right moments and gave me space at the right moments. He also declined to eat when we suggested he get something to eat, because it made him feel bad that I only got ice chips. But then of course I insisted that he get something to eat because he would need his strength for the delivery part of things, too, and I really needed him to have energy. But still. He won points for not wanting to eat just because I couldn't eat.

We had a nice time visiting and chatting and making jokes throughout the day. He was kind and good to listen to me describe exactly how my contractions were, and told me, "I want to know every update---when it starts feeling a little stronger and a little more intense. Let me know ANY changes."

When it came time for the epidural, the anesthesiologist saw our video camera and our Mac Powerbook and he was ready to talk computers and cameras. So all during the administration of my epidural, I was able to listen to Mac chatter as Murray informed the anesthesiologist about all the latest iMovie updates announced at Mac World. It was so nice, actually, not to have to be the one to make chit chat with the guy shoving the tube in my spine, but to be able to listen to a conversation that I was actually interested in. Yay!

When it was the pushing part, Murray stepped into his role very well. He held one of my legs and coached me and encouraged me. (It also helped to have the mothers and the nurse and the doctor all cheering, too---like having my own cheerleading squad.) Once the baby arrived, he took care of business by cutting the cord, supervising the cleaning up of the baby, and bringing the baby over to me to meet.

Then, he went with the baby to the nursery for him to be fully cleaned and took care of all that business while I had to finish up all of my crazy business---all that post-delivery stuff that you don't think much about.

Back together again that night (I think we reunited sometime after midnight), Murray slipped into the bathroom to get into the pajamas I'd packed for him in the hospital bag---the nurses were due to come into the room at any moment, so he used the bathroom for privacy. The nurses came in, and as they were trying to tell my weary brain all sorts of really important things, like how to use a nasal aspirator to keep my baby from dying if I happen to hear him stop breathing (like I can handle THAT information at such a time!), Murray emerged from the bathroom wearing my capri sweatpants that I'd packed to wear home from the hospital. The ones with a ribbon tie at the waist. I almost burst out laughing, but saved it for when the nurses finally left and I could point out that Murray was, in fact, wearing women's pants. Apparently, while Murray wins points for being the best husband ever, I had yet again fallen short of my wifely duties. I didn't actually pack him any pajama pants and I once again forgot to pack him socks.

Since Baby's birthday, Murray has continued to the best dad and the best husband. There's not a thing that I need to ask him to do twice, and most things, I don't even have to ask him to do at all. He just does them. Yesterday I changed my first diaper---it's not that I have an aversion to changing diapers at all. It's just that Murray beat me to it every time before then, asserting that this was something that he could do and that he'd like to take care of it.

And now, not to be too schmoopy, but I have to say that I've been surprised at the surge of extra love that I feel for Murray now that he's not only my husband, but that we share a baby together, too. He is in every way the best!

(Murray's first work portraying Baby---a sketch-photo composite.)

3-2-1----BLASTOFF!

This is Murray, I am scribing for Cicada who is.......dun dun dun.......starting the process of having a baby boy.....so HERE SHE IS!

We finally found what worked, Thursday was the only day this week that would have been inconvenient for the baby to come. Murray was starting up his Photoshop class for the new year, and having the baby today would mean canceling class, calling all the students to let them know individually, and risk looking like we were going to take their money and run. Not to mention the fact that I had favors to finish for my Mom and brother. But who would be so foolish to ask favors of a ticking time bomb anyway?

This morning we all came to the hospital for a non stress test, and I assumed that we would be in and out. BUT, the baby's heart rate wasn't responding well to even the tiniest of contractions. Before we knew it, I was in the labor and delivery room and hooked up to an IV. The Grandmothers are here. Murray, has made all the cancelations for his class, and now we are in for the long haul or the short haul depending on ow my body responds to this drip. Wish us luck!

What else I'm trying.

Yesterday my mother pulled everything out of our downstairs storage closet, took down our Christmas tree, and made a huge mess of the entire living area. This got us excited because we assumed that as soon as we made a huge mess of the house, I'd go into labor and deliver the baby.

It didn't work.

So then we organized everything from the storage closet, put away the Christmas tree and put away all our stored items in an organized manner. I volunteered for as much heavy lifting and bending over as I could manage, and we got the main floor looking good again.

It didn't work, either.

And so I ate some pineapple.

It didn't work.

We went to the mall to try and find me some shoes. I walked around a lot and I even walked up and down the escalators instead of just standing and waiting. We went up and downstairs several times. We even got massages in the mall massage chairs, something I never imagined I'd ever do.


It didn't work.

This morning, I slept in. (I needed it! Thanks for calling me at 9:00, Jenny.) It's almost 1:00 and I'm still in my pajamas and my teeth are not brushed and I'm not showered. My fingers are crossed!! This could work out really really well.

The fact is, I know that the baby's just going to come when he comes. Or, you know, when we take him out by force on Friday. But the labor-inducing activities we're trying are mostly for fun. We have no real expectations of success. We've certainly entertained ourselves reading about everything you could possibly think of on the internet. Pretty much all the sites mention a certain activity as the best way to go into labor. I'll give you a hint: It's how people get pregnant in the first place. And while I won't comment on this in a personal way at all, I will mention that we all really had a good laugh this morning when my mom was reading a labor induction site that said that this activity, if tried in the hospital, should be done in private.

Another site my mom read recommended deep meditation where I look into myself deeply and I ask the baby why he is staying inside when he should have come out by now. My baby may tell me that he is scared of the birthing process, or that there is a person who is involved in the birth who he is uncomfortable with. Murray suggested that he might not like our choice of hospital or city.

I think he might be staying in just because all you blog readers are enjoying my daily updates and increased blogging....

By Popular Demand...

I mean, it's worth a shot, right?

(Still no baby. But they'll induce Friday if he doesn't make an appearance before then.)

Today's Non-Labor-Inducing Activities

So like I said, we're trying to plan fun activities for every day that keep me busy and walking and prevent me from sitting on my couch, staring at my stomach, and waiting for the baby to come out. (One site on natural induction methods recommended visualizing a flower opening, and I can assure you all that that didn't work either, so I'm trying physical activities rather than mental ones.)

Today, Mom, Murray and I went to the hospital for a non-stress test. Everything is okay and the baby is doing well still. Then Mom and I dropped Murray off at work and went out to find some good walking activities. Shopping is always a good idea, so we headed over to the Riverwoods where we shopped around, and also decided to get manicures (note: manicures are not known to induce labor, but we felt we deserved it).

We had originally planned to go to Salt Lake with Murray's mom Lynette, but the road conditions deteriorated really quickly, so the three of us decided to go bowling instead. We figured that bowling might just be the trick to inducing labor, and if it was, we could patent it. Or at least start up a pregnancy bowling alley called Prego Lanes.

I really absolutely loved the bowling, even though my performance was a disgrace. My first game, I bowled a 44 and my second game a 56 (note that there was at least improvement). It's a good thing that we had Lynette there to help us out with pointers and tips. The first time I went to an American bowling alley, I thought, "Wow! This is, like, a RETRO bowling alley, with huge balls with holes in them and everything! Just like in the movies!" The second time I went to an American bowling alley, I thought, "Goodness gracious! Another retro bowling alley with holes in the balls!" I eventually learned that in Canada, we have 5-pin bowling, which is quite different from the more traditional American style. Our balls are much smaller (and certainly have no holes!), the pins are smaller, there are only five of them, and my mom and I swear that you're supposed to get three turns to try and knock them all down instead of just two.

At least no one cared about what the scores were. We all had a fantastic time and did a lot of laughing. And I may not have ever gotten a strike, but at least I got a spare once. Oh, and on the scoreboard, my name was listed as Selma. At least when my poor scores came in, I had plausible deniability. They weren't attached to MY name.

Unfortunately, after an hour or so of poorly hucking a ball down the lanes (I could only manage to shuffle up to the line each time, and I certainly couldn't bend much when releasing the ball), my water didn't break and labor pains didn't start. There's always hope for tonight, right? If I go into labor before tomorrow morning, I still plan on attributing it to the bowling. Otherwise, we've got to find something else to try tomorrow. Bouncing on a trampoline? Springboard diving?

(The master, with perfect form.)

(Ootsie, who was a much better bowler than me.)

Past Due

It is 11:32 p.m. on my due date, and since I'm still experiencing absolutely no labor pains, I think it's safe to say that our baby will be making a late appearance. This is how I feel about that:

(Don't ask my why I get a kick out of posting unflattering pictures of myself to the internet. This one was taken by my mom when I thought she wasn't ready to take a picture yet.)

It only makes sense. I have a fear of libraries because I'm absolutely unable to return books on time. And my college career consisted of turning in late homework. And Murray loves to sleep in. So our little baby comes by it naturally.

It was easy to get through Christmas, because we didn't want him to come before Christmas, but every day since then has been torture. What used to be my cute, smallish pregnant belly has just about doubled in size over the last couple of weeks and I can't walk without waddling. Of course, in an effort to try to induce labor, I've been waddling all over the place. I waddled around Temple Square to see the lights, I waddled around the Largest Dinosaur Museum in the World, I waddled around the Gateway, and I've scheduled more daily waddles in the hope that one day it will work.

Since I was so bored of nothing exciting happening, Saturday night (Sunday morning) at 12:30, I decided that Murray and my mother (who is staying and waiting with us now) should take me to the hospital. Sure, I had a valid reason. It wasn't labor, and we knew the baby wasn't coming, but we all agreed that a hospital trip was in order because none of us could explain my strange symptom (which I will keep to myself, thank you very much---a girl should be able to have some dignity).

So we went and had a wonderful time! They treated me wonderfully in labor and delivery, and I couldn't believe that I was actually put in a delivery room. It felt like a trial run for the real thing! I figured it would be convenient to go into labor right then, but the baby didn't agree, so he just stayed put. They did a non-stress test to make sure that he was doing okay, and he's doing just fine. Here's a picture of me kicking back at almost 2:00 a.m. If you'll notice the monitor, the blue lines indicate some contractions, but really it was just a fit of uncontrollable laughter when my mother made fun of me for my undignified reason for going to the hospital.


Hopefully I'll be posting more pictures like this soon, but of me being slightly less cheery, a little more exhausted, and a new little bundle of joy in my arms.

No Christmas Baby

Well, I'm happy to inform all of you that we officially did not have a Christmas baby. But now that Christmas is over, I keep asking myself, when's he going to come?? So far the pregnancy has whizzed by really quickly, but now that the birth is imminent and we've gotten all the big holidays out of the way (sorry New Year's Eve and New Year's Day---you just don't cut it as far as Distraction from Baby goes), I'm really ready for the baby to come.

Today I am 39 weeks and 1 day. I checked my friend's pregnancy blog that she kept throughout her pregnancy, and after she wrote her 39 week update (when she was 39 weeks and 1 day) she immediately went into labor. So now I'm trying her trick. We'll see if I have any contractions after I press "Publish Post."

Murray and I made a list of really important things to do before the baby comes, and I think we did all or most of them. We did all the super important ones, anyway. Like Murray painted my toe nails because I have trouble reaching them. Maybe I just need to make a new list of chores to do before the baby comes and work my way through those. "Get a haircut" needs to be on that list, but my salon is closed on Mondays so I'll need to do that tomorrow.

I realized that we don't have a great picture of my belly profile. Maybe I'll get Murray to do that this afternoon. In the meantime, this iPhone self portrait will have to do...


(Now that I'm posting this belly shot, can the baby come? Let's see what happens when I hit Publish Post!)

(P.S. baby, please come on a day when I've done my hair and makeup. Today would be a good day.)

Rethinking Phone Etiquette

Last night I had a brilliant idea about the letterbox that I'd like my parents to bring out to me this Christmas. When I requested it a few days ago, telling my mother that it was absolutely necessary that I be reunited with my letterbox, she told me that it was quite large and she didn't know if she wanted to bring it because they were already bringing lots of stuff.

In thinking about my letterbox again last night at 1:00, I realized that if my mom just packed clothes inside the letterbox, and the letterbox inside her luggage, that it wouldn't take up much room at all! Not wanting to forget my idea, I decided to text my mother right away so that she could wake up in the morning and find the text. This is the text I sent. At 1:00 in the morning, which was 3:00 on the East Coast:

You can pack things INSIDE the letter box and then it won't take much room!

And my eyes bugged out of my skull about thirty seconds later when I received a text back, and I said to Murray, "Oh crap! I just woke up my mom!! She's texting me back at 3:00 a.m!"

Mom: I gotup because i thought u were going to hospital

Me: I wouldn't text you about the hospital!! But now I'm laughing so hard there are tears!

Mom: Brat. You got your dad up too. Im going back to bed.

Whoops. Now that I think of it, with an iPhone, it would have taken just as much effort to email her as it took to text her, and emailing her certainly wouldn't have woken up her or my dad.

Murray has a similar complaint. Every time I call him, he thinks that I might be in labor. So every phone conversation starts with, "I'm not in labor." But one of these times, I will be in labor! So he feels just as anxious every time I call him. The iPhone has a super obnoxious "alarm" ring that sounds like a prison alarm. We talked about making that the labor ring, but I can't figure out any way to rig that. I mean, if we had a land line, I could set his phone to the "alarm" ring for the land line and only use the land line when I go into labor. But I only have one phone at my disposal. So I guess it'll just have to be a surprise. One of these days, he'll get a call and I'll say, "I am in labor!!"

My guess is that that day will be December 28th. (Which actually is a Sunday, so I won't be calling Murray anyway because we'll be together all day.) Murray's guess is the 23rd. Does anyone else care to take a guess? (The official due date is January 4th.)

Auto Pilot

Isn't it wonderful that my body knows how to make a baby? Isn't it wonderful that I don't actually have to know the science behind dividing cells, specializing, making lungs, liver, heart, blood, and guts? Seriously, because our baby would be in big trouble if I were in charge of putting him together myself.

See exhibit A. This is some work that I did for El Senor. El Senor provided me with a vector file of a body silhouette and a non-vector file of guts---the stomach, and the small and large intestines. And all I had to do was use the non-vector file to make a vector illustration of the stomach and guts to fit into the vector illustration of the body. (Sorry with my being all technical by using the word "vector"---let's just say that vector work is my specialty.)

So I made the guts and I put them on the body.


And then El Senor informed me that I positioned the rectum at the man's belly button.

Whoops! How was I supposed to know that's a rectum? But thanks to my auto pilot, our little developing baby will not poop out of his belly button.

Not Disneyland

A few months ago, Murray's sisters announced that they were going to go to Disneyland for the first few days of December. Of course we were invited, but everyone basically understood that at that point, I'd be super pregnant and ready to burst at any moment.

Well, a little over a week ago, I realized that the trip was only a week away, and although I was pregnant, I didn't feel super pregnant, and I didn't feel as if I were ready to burst. I figured I'd be up for a trip to Disneyland. Murray loves Disneyland so much, and I really wanted the opportunity of going with him and his family and experiencing the park with him. (I went when I was 9 and was singularly unimpressed, to be honest. But I was ready for Murray to change my mind.)

So I told Murray that I figured we could go. I called the doctor and found out that 35 weeks was the cut off point for travel, and since I'd only be 34 weeks, I'd be okay to go. So we made plans to go to Disneyland, and we were really excited.

And then I went in for a diabetes appointment one week before we would have left, and I was reminded that I was actually 34 weeks. One week before leaving for Disneyland. Which would put me at 35 weeks when it was actually time to leave for Disneyland. Which is the cut off point for travel.

We went to the doctor's office the next morning for our regularly scheduled appointment and asked the doctor if it really was such a big deal for me not to travel at 35 weeks. And she said that she really couldn't recommend it. She said that we could go and be absolutely fine, or we could go and have the baby. She said that the choice was ours to make, but as our doctor, she had to recommend against it.

And Murray said that he'd bet money that I wouldn't have the baby while we were in California, but then we realized that we'd literally be betting $10,000 on it, because that's what it would cost to have an out-of-network baby.

So we canceled our trip. Poor, poor Murray. It's one of many sacrifices that we'll be making for this baby.

BUT, I figured that Murray needed a little getaway, not to replace Disneyland, but to at least make up for it in some small way. So yesterday we had a surprise date. I sent him to work dressed up in a shirt and tie and told him that we'd leave straight from work for our evening's activities.

After work, I picked Murray up and we drove together to Salt Lake City, where I took him to Madeline's, a steak house. Murray had recently decided that if he were able to choose his last meal, it would be a good steak. The decor of the steak house was very... not our style. There were animal heads mounted all over, and signs about cowboys. But our food was delicious!

After dinner, we headed to the Gateway to kill some time before the night's main (and still secret) event. When we headed back to the car, Murray was surprised that we weren't walking to the night's main event. He had guessed that I was taking him to a 3-D movie at the Planetarium. Nope!

We made our way closer and closer to the University of Utah and I started hinting at what we'd be doing. Within a couple of blocks of Kingsbury Hall, Murray finally figured out that we were going to see the Odyssey Dance Company's version of It's a Wonderful Life, Murray's favorite movie. I told him that it's a family tradition, since last year we went to Springville's local production of It's a Wonderful Life. Every year, we'll have to try and find a new adaptation of It's a Wonderful Life to see!

Murray is an excellent gift receiver, and he made me feel like I'd just given him the moon! We enjoyed the production very much and then had a nice drive back home.

So here is how our evening was like Disneyland:

* A themed restaurant with fake (or dead) animals.
* A Disney Princess---Sleeping Beauty. (See photo.)
* A show (Murray keeps telling me that Disneyland is not about the rides---it's about the shows).

Here is how our evening was not like Disneyland:

* Really good food for not too much money.
* No animatronics.
* About 1/5th of the expense.
* We didn't have a baby in the It's a Small World tunnel.

Murray my love, we'll make it to Disneyland soon!