I Don't Do My Hair

So here's a funny story that I haven't shared yet. A little while ago---like a couple years ago maybe---I went over to my friend Jenny's house after getting a haircut. She said something along the lines of, "Your hair looks so cute like that, and you never do your hair!"

I took the compliment and thought long and hard about the insult part of it. It was true that sometimes I wasn't 100 percent at my hair routine, but to say that I never do my hair was going a little too far! I don't even think I was a work-at-homer at the time. (Now, it would be fairly accurate to say that I never do my hair. Sorry Murray. I'll be better.)

In December (in fact, the night I got together with everyone at the Communal) I got another new haircut, and when Jenny saw me, she again complimented me on my great hair and said something like, "But you don't do your hair. You did it tonight, though, right?"

I finally decided to address the issue and said something like, "Jenny. I do my hair. You've mentioned me not doing my hair before, but I do my hair!"

And then Jenny's whole weltanschauung totally fell apart. "What?? You told me you don't do your hair! This whole time, I've believed that you have this fantastic wonderful hair where you just wake up and it looks like that! And you don't have to do anything! That you just get out of the shower and it does that! I've told every single friend I've ever had about you. I talk to my hair dresser about you, and she tells me that people like you don't exist but I'm like no, my friend Cicada! She just wakes up and her hair is amazing!"

And two years of hurt and heartache were instantly healed. Hearts were touched. Tears were shed. A friendship was restored to its fullest measure.

I don't know how Jenny ever got the idea that I don't do my hair, but I have two possible explanations.

1) There are very very few times when the stars align and my hair dries naturally, and it actually looks presentable. If Jenny saw me on one of those days and asked me about my hair, I may have told her that it just dried like that, but not stressed the astronomical involvement in that happening. And then she may have assumed that that's what my hair always did.

2) Sometimes my hair is straight. Sometimes it's wavy, since my friend / old mission companion Jill taught me to scrunch it while blow drying. So if she happened to see me on a scrunched day, and asked me if that was "natural" I would have said yes, because I would have thought she was referring to the curls, and my hair is technically naturally wavy. (As opposed to becoming curly by using a curling iron or curlers.) If all I'm using for my hair is a blow dryer and/or brush, I classify whatever happens as "natural." If I use a flat iron, curling iron, or curlers, I will not classify it as natural.

So there you go. Contrary to popular belief (of Jenny's entire circle of friends and hair dresser) I am not the (mythical) type of person who can just get up and go with perfect hair.


Nemesis said...

Wow. I'm not sure I even know you anymore.

The other day I mentioned to a coworker that I was late because I remembered that there would be family pictures that night, so I needed to take a bit longer with my hair. Another coworker passed by and said, "Oh, so your hair isn't naturally curly?"

"No, it is, but there are some bits that go flatter and today I wanted to spruce them up. So I used a curling iron."

"Oh, that's funny. Here I was this whole time thinking that your hair was naturally curly, and it turns out you actually use a curling iron to make it look like that."

"Um . . . because it IS naturally curly, see. There were just a couple of----you know what? Fine."

With some people it's just better not to engage, I think.

Jenny said...

Ugh. I am so misunderstood.