Singles Sensitivity Training

Wednesdays are my day off work and they are, therefore, my day to get things done. I look forward to the "break" from work, but I am beginning to realize that a Wednesday of errands can be more exhausting than a day sitting in front of my computer.

Among yesterday's errands was going to the jeweler to have my watch battery replaced. I went to the place where Murray and I bought our wedding rings because the service is so great. Our salesperson, T, even greets us by name when we come in, which is crazy because I figure he sees and works with so many people.

So T greeted me this time, and we chatted---he asked me about married life, and I went on about how great it is because I thought that he was married. (I guess the wedding band he'd been wearing every time we went in was just for show.) In the manner of making chit chat, I asked him, "How are things? People still getting married?" I know it's not the most brilliant dialog, but there it is. I said it. His response was completely unexpected.

He said, "Nope. I'm still not married."

With absolute horror I realized that he thought I asked him, "Still not married?" As if three and a half weeks of marriage were long enough to make me lose all sensitivity toward singles. But I couldn't really say, "No, I didn't ask if you were still not married. I asked if people were still getting married... and buying rings and stuff... you know... how's business?" because that just would have sounded lame.

Because of the misunderstanding he ended up telling me all about how he just broke up with his girlfriend and that he's a terrible boyfriend. And then, as a married person, I wisely bestowed wisdom upon him by telling him that if you're really not into the person, breaking up before the holidays is really the only way to do it, because otherwise, you're locked into the relationship until at least Valentine's Day. Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day: Those are three really awkward holidays to go through when you know you don't really like the person you're dating. (Of course, I would have bestowed that same wisdom had I been a single person because it was a lesson that Richie taught me years ago. Not that he followed his own advice, which meant that I had to help him find a slew of non-committal gifts for the holidays. Scarves and mittens anyone?)

And T really appreciated that insight because it hadn't occurred to him, and it made him feel better about his breakup.

Unfortunately, it didn't make me feel any better about the fact that someone misunderstood the words from my mouth and thought that I was asking a horrible, insensitive question that only smugly married people ask.


Nemesis said...

"As if three and a half weeks of marriage were long enough to make me lose all sensitivity toward singles."

Wow. I'd given you at least 4 weeks for that to happen. Looks like I owe Daltongirl some money.

Only I'm so sorry! Ouch ouch ouch. At least you were able to help him, right?

Miss Hass said...

Oops! I think you redeemed yourself with your excellent advice, though.

Murray Terreno di Amore said...

As your husband, okay my comment has no bearing on whether or not I am your husband, which I am....but I would just like to say:

You can't feel bad because someone needs to use q-tips to clean out their ears more....of which, I am doing my part so that I will be a better listener to wife

Jordan said...

I learned to keep my mouth decidely shut in college. I had a week when I asked members of 3 different couples how wedding plans were going. All three couples had broken it off. Now I just avoid the topic all together.

Mr. Fob said...

I think you should just accept your new status as a Smug Married Person and revel in it. I've already put your membership card in the mail. It's a privilege those single people will never enjoy.

Rachel said...

Is T Mormon and at least 28 years old? Hook a sister up! ;) ;) ;)

AzĂșcar said...

Thanks for reminding me why I did NOT ask that girl on Sunday if she was pregnant. I considered it, but decided at the last moment to keep my trap shut.

At least yours was honest/his fault, and not deliberate.