The Breakup

I apologize if I'm somewhat out of sorts today. You see, I broke up with my boyfriend last night.

I know, I know, none of you knew I had a boyfriend. Let me explain. I didn't want to say anything on the Internet for fear of sharing information that was too personal. But now that things are over I feel I can use the Internet as a tool to sort through my feelings of utter heartbreak... or not really remotely of heartbreak at all.

It all started two weeks ago when I had a storage container delivered to my home. I won't mention the company, but you know these places that deliver storage containers and then store them for you and then deliver them to your new home? Well it was one of those sorts of things. The guy---we'll call him WTB (B=boyfriend, T=trash, and I won't tell you what W is, but it's a color)---called me at 6:40 a.m. to confirm the delivery of my container. I thanked him kindly and I did not go back to sleep.

He arrived promptly at 8:00 and I watched the whole ordeal of getting the container off the truck and into my driveway. It was pretty impressive and when WTB asked if I was watching to make sure he was doing it right I assured him that I was only watching to see how it was done. When WTB was done, he waved goodbye and left.

WTB returned that Saturday to pick up my container. I waved to him when he arrived, but a hired handyman arrived at our apartment at the same time, so I went to take him through the house to show him any problems. WTB called out to me, "You're not going to stick around?" I assured him that I was just going to show the handyman into my house so that he could get started on his work.

When WTB was finished loading the storage container onto his truck, he came to talk to me, as if goodbyes were somehow in order. He came, I said, "Welp. Thanks!" and he still stood there so I said, "Do you work in Salt Lake City, too, or just in Provo?" He said, "Oh, I work in Salt Lake, too." I said, "Maybe I'll see you there next week, then." He said, "Oh, I hope so." We shook hands and then I waited for Redras to get home so that I could tell her that I thought WTB had a crush on me.

This past Saturday, WTB brought my storage container to my new house. He maneuvered it into the parking lot and when he was done, came up to me. He said, "Can I ask you a question without you getting all offended or thinking I'm being unprofessional or anything?" I gave him permission and he said, "Can I take you out sometime?" And I looked at his little goatee and his earring and of course I said yes, because he had just done what apparently all BYU males are incapable of doing.

I thought it was a cute story and I really had no intentions of things going anywhere. I figured we could go on a date and it would either be mediocre or miserable and we'd end it there. On Sunday he sent me a text message. I should have known that things were soon going to come to an end when I was more annoyed than excited to receive a text message from him. Nevertheless, we had a text message conversation strung out over a few hours. He asked if he could take me out on Thursday. I still said yes.

Yesterday this texting continued until I told him that I didn't have unlimited texts and that our conversations were getting expensive. He said that he would pay me back for all my text messages and then called to ask if he could stop by my place on his way home from work. Because El Senor was home with me, I said that he could.

And what can I say? He came and immediately upon seeing him, I thought, "Crap, what have I gotten myself into?" But we sat down on the couch and had an awkward conversation (in which I found out that he's five years younger than I am) and then he invited me to go for a walk with him. I stayed within our gated community and kept one hand on my phone and the other hand in my pocket. During our romantic walk around my complex, I did my best to let him down gently. He was full of hopes about our future and I was full of hope that I could make our future as short as possible. I pointed out that I felt we had nothing in common---at all. He countered with "Well, what kind of music do you like?" I mentioned Modest Mouse, Death Cab, The Postal Service, and Dashboard Confessional. He'd heard of maybe two of those. So I guess we couldn't fall back on music to be something we had in common, either.

When I mentioned that he described himself as kindof LDS but I would describe myself as very LDS he promised me that for me, he would start going back to church. I couldn't help but wonder why he was already so attached to me. I mean, we'd had minimal interaction and he'd only ever seen me in basketball shorts and a bandana. What could he possibly be attached to?

When it came right down to it, I told him that we had nothing in common and I couldn't see us going anywhere. He said that we just needed to get to know each other better. I told him that the fact that that didn't sound exciting to me at all was a good indicator to me that I wasn't really invested in this relationship. He asked if that meant that Thursday was off. I said yes. He asked if we could hang out sometime as just friends. I said no. He asked if he could walk me to my door. I said yes because El Senor was home. He walked me to my door, we shook hands, and that's where it all ended.

And really, I felt like crap because I probably shouldn't have said yes to his invitation in the first place. Whereas a simple "no" to his asking if he could take me out sometime would have hurt a little, telling him that I wasn't excited by the idea of getting to know him probably was a lot more hurtful.

Now comes time for the discussion part. See, I didn't want to say no when he originally asked if he could ask me out because I felt that his bravery in asking me out should be rewarded. Instead, now I feel that the way I did things ended up punishing his bravery more severely. So what is the best thing to do when you're asked out by a guy you know you're probably never going to be interested in? Just say no? Give it a chance? I'd love feedback and discussion here.