Making Out Can Kill

I hate to share the humiliating and intimate details of my friends' lives on the Internet, but... Oh, who am I kidding? I love it! Let me tell you a really funny story about MOTD, or Making Out Transmitted Diseases. Or at least one.

So I have a friend. We'll call her Urine Girl, because that's how I introduce her whenever I talk to my parents about her. ("You know... that girl who drank urine.") I met her over the Christmas break and immediately knew that she and I were destined to be friends. One thing that was noticeable about her over the Christmas break was that she had a rather large open sore on the top of her nose. She explained in the presence of our girl friends that she got it while making out. The guy she had been making out with was scruffy, and his scruff scratched the top of her nose. We're still not sure how, though we pestered her for details on how the top of one's nose could be so seriously scraped during a makeout. One girl cried, "You were kissing upside down, weren't you?! You were kissing upside down!" Still UG was sparing with the details.

When my parents asked her what she did to her nose, she explained that she had scraped it. My mom asked, "Scraped it having fun?" and the rest of us snickered while we watched UG try to come up with a response to that.

What I found out only a couple days ago was that the huge open sore on her nose had a staph infection, which explained why it was enormous and why it wasn't healing. Needless to say, it was good that the condition was diagnosed when they could still do something about it, rather than watch her die of a flesh-eating bacteria, contracted while making out.

10 comments:

Stupidramblings said...

My favorite thing I ever heard anyone say happened over and over again on the "Leave It To Beaver" show.

Beaver [in trouble as usual]: *sigh*

Wally: Hey Beav! How'd you make out with mom?

Beaver: She really gave it to me.

[Repeat ad nauseum for the entire life-span of the series...]

Cicada said...

BWAHAHAHAHA! There was this one time that my grandma was about to heat up some chili for me and my brother, and as she was walking into her basement apartment in our house, she said, "I'm going to get it on now." I couldn't help but burst out laughing. I still love that moment

Stupidramblings said...

So...Making out and Dick Cheney are synonyms?
...

Mary said...

I think God was punishing her.

Limon said...

I am for once glad that there is no accompanying picture.

Melyngoch said...

Thank you for the warning, Cicada. I will keep this in mind in all of my future ncmo efforts.

Squirrel Boy said...

This is what you get for not using protection. A simple sheet of plastic wrap between their faces could've prevented all of this.

Cicada said...

ASB... uh... so... um... You don't know something about me that you shouldn't, do you? Have you been talking to Ambrosia or Tolkien Boy?

Squirrel Boy said...

Whatever are you talking about, my dear Cicada?

redlaw said...

I'm willing to risk death for a good make-out - I mean, hey, these are the sacrifices you make, you know?