Last night, Murray and I left Gulliver in the care of my parents (staying at my brother's house) in SLC so that Murray and I could have a work day today. (I'm taking a SUPER QUICK break to document this!) When we left, my mom had gone down for an evening nap. I kept waiting for her to call so that I could give her my instructions for caring for my firstborn, but she never called.
Finally at about 10:30 I called my dad to ask how things were going. My mom never woke up, so her nap essentially turned into a really early bedtime.
Anyway, Gulliver was awake when I called. He was being cared for by my dad and my brother Richie, visiting from Canada. This is a faithful transcription of all that was said:
Dad: Where is the diaper bag?
Me: The diapers are at the changing station in Bean's room. Same with the wipes.
Dad: Well that's a problem. [because Bean was asleep]
Me: Well, is he dirty? I usually don't change him in the middle of the night because he's asleep. I don't wake him up to change him. Is he awake?
Dad: Yep. He's awake. He's right here with me and Richie.
Me: I don't hear him.
Dad: He's right here.
Me: Is he stinky?
Dad: I think he stinks. How do I know?
Me: You smell his butt.
Dad: Well, I can't tell.
Me: He's probably not dirty then.
Dad: Well how do I know?
Me: Peek in his diaper.
Dad: He's wearing a onesie. I can't peek in.
Me: Take off his pants, pull the diaper away from his butt at the leg hole.
Dad: I don't see anything in there.
Me: Then he doesn't need changing. He's good to go.
Dad: Where are his pajamas? [He fell asleep early, too, so he was still wearing his regular clothes.]
Me: I put them in a stack on your dresser. Find his footed pajamas.
Dad: There's a pair of blue pants here. Is that it?
Me: No. You're looking for footed pajamas. They'll have feet on them. It's at the bottom of the pile.
Dad: Okay. Now how do I do this?
Me: Keep his long-sleeved onesie on. Then put his feet in the pajamas, put his arms in the pajamas, and zip it up.
Murray, to me: He's not going to like it.
Me: He may not like it.
Dad: Okay. That's done.
Me: I still haven't heard a peep from him.
Dad: Well, he's just being very quiet. Now what?
Me: Well, you'll have to put him down to sleep again. At this time of night, he'll probably cry about 30 seconds. But he'll cry. You can't be in the room or he'll keep crying. So he should either be in Richie's bedroom, and Richie can sleep on the couch, or bring the crib out into the main area outside your room and Richie can sleep in the bedroom. But then his crying might wake up the kids upstairs.
Dad: How long will he be crying that we need to be concerned?
Me: If it's more than 30 minutes. But it will more than likely be about 30 seconds.
So we wrapped up the conversation, and I was never fully convinced that my baby was even there since I didn't hear him at all. But as soon as I was done the conversation, I saw that my dad had sent me these photos. So I knew my baby was all cared for.