Blog Boyfriend vs. Blog Boyfriend

Tonight was the date. You'll likely want to know what I ended up wearing. Well, right before I left work, I decided to go shopping at Gap again. I ended up buying a tuxedo shirt and a pair of jeans. Which is funny because I had planned on wearing a tuxedo shirt and pair of jeans that I already owned. So basically, I just went out and bought a new, different version of what I'd already been planning to wear. I tried to take a picture, but my camera battery ran out as soon as I pushed the button, so I'm afraid you won't see what I looked like on my date. No matter.

Anyway, so let me give you the background story. See, this guy I went on a date with---we'll call him Murray---emailed me a little while ago to say that he'd been reading my blog. We emailed back and forth a little and then decided that we should get together and meet. Of course, I ran the risk of him being a psycho killer (qu'est-ce que c'est?) (fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa) from whom I'd have to run run run run run run run away (oh oh oh oh... ai ai ai ai ai). So we arranged a meeting in a public place (Bombay House) and I brought back-ups---Nat and OldEnough. Of course, that was three-on-one for poor Murray, who would have been in real danger had we turned out to be the psycho killers (qu'est-ce que c'est?). But Nat and OldEnough were the obvious choice. You see, they recently met through their blogs, too. So it was like a blog-boyfriend-double-date. (Note: The use of the word "boyfriend" here does not mean a committed relationship, rather it means "person who has dating potential.")

Murray and I met in the waiting area and Nat and OldEnough showed up soon after. When we got to our table, OldEnough pulled out the chair for Nat to sit in, and Murray then said that he had to pull out my chair now, too, because he couldn't not do it after OldEnough did it. Nat mentioned that OldEnough earned points by pulling out the chair. We weren't sure if Murray earned points because he just did it out of peer pressure. But I announced that Murray earned points when he told me I looked nice (of course, he had read all about the date shopping experience). And this led to a points discussion where Nat and I were able to discuss our dates' point statuses in front of them. Murray pitched in that he might lose points for "packing a few extra pounds" but he might gain points for "ability to lose weight" which I didn't acknowledge as funny at the time, but I've got to admit, I'm still laughing about it. In fact, I must mention here that one of the best parts about this double-date was the body matching that went on. Nat and OldEnough were the skinny couple. Murry and I were the ability-to-lose-weight couple. Such a good match.

By the end of the evening, we all knew each other a little better. In fact, OldEnough and Murray even exchanged emails. This could be a really good thing. Or, of course, it could be a really bad thing when Murray and OldEnough decide to run off together and leave Nat and me alone and destitute. After the date, Nat called me to tell me that both she and OldEnough approve of Murray. Approval is very important. OldEnough thought it was cool that Murray prefaced half his sentences with apologies for possibly sounding creepy, or internet-stalkery, or really apologizing for anything. Nat thought it was cool that Murray pointed out that he did actually consider giving me references who I could call to make sure he wasn't a psycho killer. (I think, actually, Nat and OldEnough and I were all at least slightly disappointed to find out that Murray was normal and cool... but like I've said, it's not like the feather-weights would have been much help in defending me anyway.)

Anyway, I'm sure that you're all dying to know Murray's point status by the end of the night. Here it is:

Being on time: 1
Dressing nicely (great jeans and a nice, striped button-up shirt): 1
Commenting on my appearance: 1
Not forcing an awkward hug on me: 5
Being easy to talk to and fitting in well: 2
Making a racist comment: -2 (that's actually an inside joke---we have those already; he didn't make any racist comments---I just had to put in a negative)
Knowing how to use PhotoShop: 10 (because the program is cryptic to me, anyone who knows how to use it is a genius)
Having two G5s with two 23-inch monitors at work: 10 (dead sexy)
Knowing what to do at Utah Lake if you're a man who wants to have sex with a man: -10
Not offering to take me bowling after dinner: 20
Deferring to my food judgment and ordering the same thing as me: 1
Allowing me to order the Peshwari Nan: 2
Not forcing another awkward hug on me at the end of the evening: 5

There are plenty of other things that earned him points, but Nat keeps Google Talking me to ask if I've finished the post. Okay, really, my creativity has run out. Suffice it to say that he ended with positive points. I don't know how OldEnough fared in the end, but I wish him the same success. Of course, I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that Murray and OldEnough don't take a trip together to Utah Lake.

8 comments:

daltongirl said...

I think the biggest thing to come out of this date is that I learned I am a genius, because I know Photoshop. So for that reason, I fully approve of Murray.

And I'm glad you had a nice time. Did it ever occur to you that an accomplished psycho killer might spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince you that he's normal and not psycho? Just a thought.

Also, all French song lyrics, when seen in print without the music to listen to, direct my thinking to the classic line of, "Voulez-vous couchez avec moi? Ce soir?"

Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da . . .

Kristeee said...

Mmmmm, peshwari Naan... how many points did Bombay House earn your date? With food that good in your tummy, it's hard to have a lousy time.

Saule Cogneur said...

Oh come on!! Bowling after dinner!? That's like...almost as cool as getting conned into going to a friend of your date's house to watch an anime movie until 2:00am.

Nemesis said...

I'm sure the new outfit made all the difference. Also kudos to the boy for 1) liking Indian food and 2) getting peshwari naan, which I have never had but now know that I must try!

M. Paul Bailey said...

Wait a second! So taking a girl to watch anime until 2am is a bad thing?! Why hasn't anyone told me this before?

natali said...

i have decided that for the first 10-14 times i touch someone it is awkward. regardless.

christovich79 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
christovich79 said...

"Did it ever occur to you that an accomplished psycho killer might spend an inordinate amount of time trying to convince you that he's normal and not psycho?"

It did to me. That's why I hesitate to act normal. I also find that psychos find ways to connect with people besides the internet: like church meetings and blind-dates.