The student employees work in an open area where there are four long desks with about eight or ten work stations each. There are no dividers and no privacy (that's not a problem because unlike last year, there is actually space now, and it's convenient for socializing with coworkers). What that means is that when someone is doing something out of the ordinary, everyone knows about it. Today I heard a buzzing noise and turned around to witness a coworker shaving his face with an electric razor. He was staring intently at the computer, using the mouse with one hand and shaving his face with the other.
It made me think that I've obviously been misusing my time. I have compiled a list of things that I have foolishly been doing on my own time that can now be brought into the office.
Brushing teeth: No longer will I waste time brushing my teeth at home! With very little preparation (a rinse cup and a spit cup) I can now brush my teeth at my desk!
Blow-drying hair: When sockets abound at work, why waste my own electricity and precious personal time making my hair look perfect? Instead, I can bring my hair dryer to work, plug it in, and blast away for a few minutes while I read correct grammar on the computer screen.
Waxing legs: I have never done this, but now that I have four paid hours every day to attend to my personal hygiene, I may as well start. Think of all the work I can get done while I wait for the wax to harden sufficiently!
Pedicure/manicure: Again, what better time to attend to this than when I'm already planning to stay in the same spot for four hours? At the beginning of my shift, I can do my toes, then work on my fingernails. For the rest of the time, as long as I'm careful typing, I can the enamel dry perfectly.
Bleaching my mustache: This is something I've only ever done once, morally supporting a friend who realized that she needed it after seeing this picture. But now, why not do it again?
I believe that the personal care possibilities are endless. And in the spirit of office unity and camaraderie, when someone asks, "Pass the epilator, please," I will reply, "With pleasure."
15 comments:
Um...um.
Can I impress upon you to also worry about filing your nails, clipping your toenails, picking split ends, getting your back tattooed and piercing your ears too?
It's only the boss's time...
Clipping your nails is a particularly good one because then some of the clippings might end up in your keyboard.
DEAR LORD! THAT MOUSTACHE!!!
I hate to be a hag, but that needs more than bleaching, that needs some serious electrolysis! Too expensive? Go by way of the professional wax job. MONEY. WELL. SPENT.
OH. Your poor friend. Although it hurts my heart to think that it took a picture to cause her take action towards something like that. *shudders*
You colored those lines on there, you nutter.
But yes. People who need to bleach their mustaches should be getting on that.
Also eyebrows. I can't stand it when women have unibrows. Drives me nuts.
I....I...I touched up my pedicure in my office the other day.
Shhhh. It's just that I have a new office, with a door I can close. My toenails were chipped and chips really show with red polish, and...
So there is no excuse.
(Except that it is my office and I may do as I please in my office.)
I think you should tattoo yourself at work. Maybe you could offer to tattoo other people, too.
It's better to be seen grooming in public than picking or scratching in public, I always say.
Oh thank goodness. Photoshop trickery. If only I had clicked on the picture for a better view, I wouldn't have had a heart attack as such.
Thanks for giving me a stroke.
That is just freaking WRONG!!! wax it. Hell I will pay for her to get that lasered. even though you added your own touch, it still looks pretty bad. YUCK!!! good luck. I need a job like yours. You might as well go for the big one and Nair your legs at your desk. Please take a picture if you decide to do so.
Or, you could email me all day long. That way you would always be typing, and the telltale odor of nail polish wouldn't give you away. Yup. That's what I recommend.
Sensitivity, people! Don't be too judgmental of my poor unnamed friend! First of all, she reads my blog. Second of all, the photo did shed some light on a problem that none of us had really seen before. The naked eye couldn't really see the problem under normal circumstances.
I remembered laughing at him shaving too, I didn't realize how much I should have been learning from him. I did floss the other day at work, and I convinced B-rad to also. It's a habit I think I will continue
Hi there! How can I email you? I read part of your blog and YOU ARE TOO FUNNY ! ! I really enjoyed your writing about "piqued" interest!
Tricia Cross (Canadian)(misscross2000@yahoo.com)
This is your tragically-deformed friend, Stupid.
To find out what this means, please visit me here.
The cool thing about personal grooming at work is that you can look up tips on how to do it on the net and then follow them immediately while the step by step pics are there in front of you.
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