Name Dropping

Viper loves name dropping. The thing is, the kind of name dropping he participates in takes about five minutes of explanation per name: "You know The RM, the movie?" Uh... yeah, I watched it a while ago. I can't really remember it. "Well, you know how he's in court at the end of the movie?" I think I vaguely remember something like that, yeah... "Well, he's got this lawyer. Do you remember the lawyer?" No, not really... "The lawyer tries to tell him to do the wrong thing, but then he does the right thing." Oh. Yeah. Okay. I think I sortof remember that. "That's my friend. My friend Curt."*

And the fact is that if I do a google image search for Curt, I find his picture, and that's already pretty cool. When I do a google image search of my name, I get this. No joke.

Viper admits that he loves name dropping. He'll say to me, "I just think it's cool. I think it will be cool to one day see Curt on television and say to my kids, 'I know that guy. That's my friend, Curt. Here, let's give him a call.'"

I smile and nod and he asks, "Don't you think that would be cool?" I just keep smiling and nodding, giving off the impression that really, I'm too cool to think about such things.

The fact is that the moment I'm away from Viper, I start bragging to everyone who'll listen to me. Today, I announced to my English class (a class in which I've never spoken to anyone until today) that last night, I hung out with the guy who played the guy whose wife was dead in that Easter movie. You know. Finding Faith in Christ: "Yeah. We totally hung out. We even talked about relationships and stuff. We're thisclose now. Can you believe it? The guy who plays the guy whose wife was dead!"

The day after I hung out with Kirby Heyborne, I told each of my coworkers individually: "Good morning, how are you doing?... Good?... Oh yeah. Me too. I'm just a little tired today. You know, I was hanging out with Kirby Heyborne last night.... Oh, you've heard of him?... Yeah, yeah, he's a good guy. Seriously. Yeah, I would say that we're pretty good friends... Yes, he is very nice in person. You know, my boyfriend looks just like him. They could be twins. Well, maybe not twins, but definitely brothers or something. I think it's got something to do with their closely-set eyes. No seriously. I wouldn't be surprised if they asked my boyfriend to play his brother in his next movie. Because my boyfriend's an actor too, you know. Yeah, he's actually a little bit of a celebrity, too."

It's true, actually. He played a missionary in a short commercial or inspirational video or something. They played it between General Conference sessions one year. Oh, you don't remember him? Well... he was one of those missionaries... I'm sure that if you were paying attention at the time, you'd remember now. And that's not all. When we go places together, people almost throw themselves at him and say, "You're my favorite player at ComedySportz!" Or sometimes they're more subtle. Like when he and I were looking at cell phones and he made a couple of jokes and walked to the other side of the booth. The salesman leaned in towards me and said in a conspirational sort of way, "He's my favorite at ComedySportz. He's great. Is he funny in real life?"

"Why yes, he is. He's very funny in real life. And you know, he also knows that guy. That guy who played the guy whose wife was dead in Finding Faith in Christ. And to tell the truth, I know him too. Oh, and have you ever seen The RM? Because there's this one scene where Kirby Heyborne---yeah, I know him---goes to court, and the lawyer..."


*Several details in this blog post have been exaggerated for comedic effect. Any dialogue I claim comes from Viper is actually a more accurate representation of what I sound like when I'm name dropping.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm friends with Mike B from all those movies. And by "friends with," I mean that my roommate was friends with him and that the three of us hung out a few times. When The Matrix Revolutions came out, the three of us went and saw the first showing together. That's how cool I am.

Carina said...

This Michael B?

I think Viper and I know a lot of the same people.

This whole blogging thing has just proven how incestuous our little area of the world actually is.

Anonymous said...

If you mean the guy in this picture, then yes. I have no idea who the guy pictured at the top of that page is.

Carina said...

You should keep reading...

John said...

I have to comment- only because the word verification is "tutufx"

Michael Paul Bailey said...

Azucar, did you post a picture of Chris Kendrick?

Carina said...

CK is my friend Cjane's husband. Great guy. Also, a different friend just started working at your company, Viper.

daltongirl said...

Well, you know that one movie? The one about Joseph Smith? The one that's playing at the Legacy Theater right now and will probably be seen by about a thousand times more people than saw all those Halestorm movies combined? Yeah, that one. And you know that one guy who plays Joseph Smith's father, even Joseph Smith, Sr.? Well, he was in my kitchen the other day, because they were shooting a movie in my house. Only I didn't meet him, on account of I was at PTACON4. But Lola did, and she said he was nice. Really, really, super nice. Probably about as nice as Joseph Smith, Sr., come to think of it. So if you want to drop MY name (or Lola's) someday, feel free. I give you license.

Natalie Gordon said...

I am going to do MY mormon movie namedropping thing, which has just become more interesting because of all the well connected people on your board. My friend, Camille, had a huge crush on Chris Kendrick freshman year at BYU, and although I don't remember ever talking to him, I did go with her when she would stalk him. SO...whenever I see him in a movie or on a commercial (or now mentioned on your blog), I say, "Hey, my friend Camille used to stalk him."

Also, I used to work at Zions Bank with the girl that offers Will Swenson brownies in The Singles Ward. She was also a pregnant lady in a Baby Your Baby commercial.

And, I met Cicada outside the Cougar Eat once.

I'm pretty cool.

Carina said...

It wasn't Camille Heckmann, was it?

Michael Paul Bailey said...

That's great that people know Chris Kendrick. He's an awesome guy and has even done ComedySportz's Yellow Number 2 show on occasion. If you see him, tell him that he needs to go perform at ComedySportz some more. He's brilliant!

Natalie Gordon said...

It was Camille Heaton from Texas (and now I've outed her as someone who used to stalk boys at BYU 16 years ago. I'M A BAD FRIEND!). I haven't seen her since right after her mission. I'm not sure what her married name is.

Carina said...

I just thought it was funny that two posts mentioned Michael B. in an amusingly self-referential name-dropping fashion.

Jenny said...

Last fall when I was pregnant I kept having odd dreams and one day I dreamed that Brad Pitt came over when I was folding laundry to 'mingle with the people of Provo' and admired the photography on the walls and we got to talking and he gave Ed lots of money to startup his business and Ed took pics of the Brangelina wedding.

So now I say Brad Pitt loves my husband's photgraphy. So I am a name dropper also. Only I lie when I do it.

Ninon said...

Cicada,
All this talk about name dropping has made me think of that time when you organized a birthday party in a famous person's home and never knew he was famous until all the boys started salivating when they realized whose house they were at. And the boys who didn't come were mad at you for not telling them WHOSE house the birthday party was going to be at, because although they didn't want to go to the party for "Freshman Roommate" if they had only known who she was related to, they would have come! THAT would be a good blog.

Limon said...

Yeah, well my new roommate is the younger brother of Napoleon Dynamite, the one who the character was largely based on. Take that! I am going to be famous someday!