Artie Fartie

The dialog between me and Murray right now.

Murray: I have a name that I'm about as set on as I was on Gulliver if we have a boy.

Me: Is it Silas?

Murray: No. It's Draco.

Me: Is it Alan Rickman?

Murray: No. Do you want to know what it is?

Me: Yes.

Murray: It's Arthur. Because we can call him Art. And Artie. And I'd just sit him down before we send him to school and say, "Okay. The kids are going to call you Artie Fartie. And that's just because they're kids and they are stupid and have no imagination. Do you know what a fart is? Anyway. Don't let it bother you."

Me: Are you kidding? I'll sit him down and say okay Artie. The kids at school are going to call you Artie Farty. When they do that, you punch them in the face, push them down on the ground, sit on their head and fart in their face. And ask, Who's farty now?"

Murray: You son of a bitch?

And then we said, "Who's farty now you son of a bitch" in a kindergarten voice. And laughed at how funny we are.


-- Posted from my iPhone, with apologies for any typos.

8 comments:

Jenny said...

You guys are freaks. My friend Lisa named her baby Arthur but they are from England so they call him Artha and so I'd have to call your kid that too, for the sake of fairness. I bet it would make him feel posh.

Steff said...

Oh my goodness, that would be so awesome to see a cute, innocent little kindergartener do that. Now you HAVE to name him Arthur!

Haha, I love your blog!

Steff

Saule Cogneur said...

Usually those are the kinds of lessons that come from aunts or uncles. They'll be upset that you're beating them to the punch.

Kristeee said...

Hehe. My dad gave me a talk one day about boys hitting me on the playground. His solution was to kick them hard between the legs. I was in first grade. :)

With Art, though, you'd also have the whole joke of, "What do you call an armless, legless man on your wall?"

The Holyoaks said...

Hahahaha. I love you.

Jan said...

bahaha. That is really funny because I call my uncle Ardie Fartie! His name is Arden :) I don't really know if I've ever called him Arden, though. Even my husband only really knows him as Ardie Fartie :) He calls me obnoxious things, too, though, so we're even.

daltongirl said...

I am laughing at how funny you are too. In fact, I cannot stop laughing at how funny you are.

Natalie said...

Hahaha! Love it.