Here's Murray's and my discussion from this morning, transcribed as best as my memory serves:
Cicada: I should drink some more before going to the appointment. My pee sample last time was lacking. "Brooke" had way more pee. She left an ample sample.
Murray: If only her name were... [thinking really hard]... "Dample." Then it would be Dample's ample sample. It's weird that they just leave the urine out like that where people could tamper with it.
Cicada: Yeah. In other offices where I've been, there's a pee-pass-through door. Here, it's just left out on a tray in the bathroom. Like, if I didn't want them to know about something in my urine, I could just take someone else's. Like if I were on acid during my pregnancy.
Murray: Yeah. Like you could just swap it out for someone else's.
Cicada: Well, I wouldn't swap it. Because then, when they tell Brooke that she's on acid, she's going to be like, "No, I am not on acid" and they could trace it back to me.
Murray: Anyone would say that they're not on acid if they were accused of being on acid. Why would they believe her?
Cicada: Well, she could provide another urine sample. Then they'd see that she's not on acid, and they'd trace it back to me. I wouldn't swap the urine. I'd just take some of Brooke's because she has a lot.
Murray: But they could still tell that there's acid.
Cicada: How could they still tell there's acid??
Murray: If you're just diluting yours with Brooke's.
Cicada: How stupid do you think I am? I may be dropping acid while I'm pregnant, but I'm not stupid. I wouldn't pee at all. I'd just pour half of Brooke's sample into another cup and write my name on it. She certainly left enough of it to go around.
Cicada: Of course, I don't know if it's the same technician who does all the urinalysis. Maybe if they have two identical urine samples, they'd know that something is up. How would I know these things? It's still risky.
Conversations like that are just one more reason why I love Murray so.
And I didn't pee after Brooke this morning. I peed after Tara, and despite my water drinking, she out-peed me by more than half, too. I'd say she had about three times the pee that I had. What can I say? I'm not an all-star peer.
In other news, I'm up one pound from a month ago. The doctor assures me that I'll pack it on, though. We scheduled our ultrasound for next Wednesday, and our baby's heartbeat was 148, which puts it up to the girl category, according to the old wives' tales. (My mom told me that Captain Fabuloso had a girl heart rate. I always suspected there was something funny about him...) There's pretty much nothing I can do to avoid getting heartburn (like stopping eating chocolate was ever an option!) but I can chow down on Tums when I need to and not eat before going to bed. Also, despite my fear of bending down to put on my shoes, there is no risk of me actually squishing my baby to death. Phew.