Okay, okay. I know I've got a death theme going here, and that's not intentional. But hear me out one more time, and then I'll move on to complaining about ward members who take advantage of your profession for their own personal non-church-related projects.
One of my biggest fears is causing an accidental death in a car accident. What I'm talking about is something completely out of my control. Like someone crashing into me (and dying) or a bike suddenly darting right in front of my car, etc. And then the person dies. I think that I'd need serious therapy. I mean, I would know that it's not my fault and it's just a freak accident, but forever more, I would have to question, did I have to go out right that moment to get a milkshake or [insert any banal activity here].
In fact, I listened to an episode of This American Life called "Life After Death" the other day, and it talks about those who survive after having killed someone else. And a really really interesting comment from a psychologist was that when a car accident that takes someone's life is completely accidental and no fault whatsoever of the driver's, the driver suffers more psychologically because of it. He explains that if an accident is caused because of driver fault (drunk driving, drowsy driving, etc.) then the driver has something that he or she can fix. The driver can choose never to drink and drive again, or choose to pull over when drowsy instead of pushing on. But a driver who has done nothing wrong at all but caused a death has nothing to fix or change. That makes a lot of sense to me.
Anyway. Why this post? Last night as Murray and I were driving on the freeway at 65 mph, a motorcyclist zoomed past us. He was going at least 80 or 85. It was night. It was dark. He wasn't wearing a helmet. And he was wearing sun glasses.
What makes me angry about the whole thing is that if I get in an accident with that guy and he definitely dies (see aforementioned speed and no-helmet status), then that's on my conscience for the rest of my life. But it would be his reckless behavior that caused it. I get angry that people can be so casual about their own lives, and really, they think that they're the only ones impacted by their decisions. It's really stupid. They're really stupid.
And what ticks me off, too, is that there was a police cruiser behind us shortly after the motorcyclist went by. It would have made my night to see the motorcyclist get a ticket. Alas. The police must not have seen it.