Incognito

Today I blew our cover.

Nat and I met up for lunch and for a visit to Home Again, my favorite store. She had just come from the gym. I had just thrown on shorts, a tshirt, and a bandana. We weren't looking our finest, but it was great for a Saturday afternoon.

She had called me to get my opinion on a coffee table that could potentially match the armoir I had her buy at Home Again last month. I approved it and she asked me what I thought Home Again's policy on haggling might be. I told her to give it a try.

She got to the counter with her ticket (the table cost $125) and I lurked elsewhere in the store, listening to Nat's negotiation skills. It went something like this:

Nat: What's your policy on negotiating price?

Worker: Well, it depends on the piece. If it's been in the store for a while and hasn't sold, then we're willing to negotiate down.

Nat: What about this table?

Worker: That came in yesterday. We're not going to negotiate down.

Nat: SOLD!

That's when I started laughing, which probably looked crazy to those around me who didn't know that I was secretly listening to that conversation.

Because I can't leave that store without buying a home accessory, I went to the counter to purchase a $20 bird cage that matches the $14 bird cage I bought last month. When I got to the counter, I asked the ladies, "What's your policy on negotiation?" Then we all had a chuckle because we all knew I was joking, but honestly, I think they'd throw in a free bird cage every now and then if they realize that I keep luring Nat into the store and encouraging her to spend lots and lots of money (about $1000 in the past month).

As they were ringing me up, Nat asked, "Why is it that every time we come here, I spend so much money and you spend so little?" I replied, "Because I'm not a lawyer."

Again, we all enjoyed a good chuckle until the ladies behind the counter looked at us in disbelief and asked Nat, "Wait... are you really a lawyer?" She replied that she was. They told her that knowing that, they surely will never negotiate with her again because she obviously had the necessary money to buy their furniture.

Then they asked me what I do. I said that I'm an editor. And for some reason, that sounds glamorous to people. Well, and for my own pride's sake, I threw in the fact that I also design leather fashion---like handbags. So they decided that since I'm a working professional, too, then I will never have a chance of a bargain price with them.

Anyway. In the end, I've decided my negotiation skills might be worse than Nat's.

7 comments:

natali said...

what was it about my appearance that made them think i wasnt a lawyer? was it the red booty shorts i bought from old navy for 10 cents or was it the purple "idaho no udaho" shirt.

natali said...

ps is it bad i am kinda of glad that murray is gone because you will finally have time to wallpaper with me? wallpaper party! yay!

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of when I went to Best Buy with my friend to check out the newest Morrissey CD. They only had the deluxe version for $19.99, and my friend completely flustered the salesperson trying to get him to bring it down to the $13.99 non-deluxe price because it's not our fault they don't have the non-deluxe CD in stock. The poor salesguy just kept, "ohhh, yeahhh, no, I wish I--I'm sorry" while I laughed hysterically next to him. Poor, poor salesguy.

The Holyoaks said...

Your life is so exciting.

Saule Cogneur said...

No no no. You've got it all wrong. Rich people are tight with their money. You need to show the manager that you really ARE a wealthy snob. Shopkeepers need snobs because it makes their clientele look more well-to-doey which allows them to charge more. HOWEVER, because they want to keep you around, they will give you discounts.

natali said...

sadly i am just an attorney but not a rich one and no one will ever give me a discount so that i will keep shopping there because i have a mullet and i hate matching.

Jordy said...

This kind of reminds me of this record store in Dallas. It's called Bill's. The place is weird because no cd's have price tags. You go up to the counter where Bill sits, and show him your intended purchase. He looks it over and tells you how much he wants for it. Once, I brought a cd up to him that he said was $38.50, the sad thing is that I bought it!