Mall Cut vs. Mom Cut

So a few months ago, I went to the Valley Fair Mall to buy a pair of jeans. I walked out of the Valley Fair Mall with a pair of jeans and a haircut. Risky, you may think, getting a mall cut, particularly at the Valley Fair Mall, which is a little bit W. T., if you know what I mean.

But the fact is that it was a great cut. I've loved my hair for the past couple of months. Sadly, it grows, so while it still looked cute, I knew it was time for another hair cut. Fortunately, my sister-in-law, Captain Mom, had a $20-off coupon for her hair stylist. I made an appointment and looked forward to my visit to a real salon (or hair design studio).

My hair cut began with an oil-head massage. So... you know how there's foods that you've never liked, and you keep trying them every few years or so to see if you like them yet? Lately, I've been thinking about signing up to get a massage because I've been stressed at work. The problem is that I really hate strangers touching me. But I thought maybe I could get over it and enjoy the massage. Well, judging by my oil-head massage, I'd have to say that I still have not developed a taste for strangers touching me unnecessarily. I'm shuddering just thinking back on it.

After I explained to the stylist what I wanted, she proceeded to cut my hair and make chit-chat, another part of the hair cutting process that I usually loathe. She asked me where I usually go for my hair cuts. I told her about my place in Provo, and explained that I'd only had my hair cut once since being in Salt Lake---and that it was at the mall. She kindof cringed right then and said, "Wow. You're brave. Which mall?" When I said, "Valley Fair Mall," I think that she almost passed out.

She quickly got over it and kept up with the chit chat. Like once, she asked me if I had a boyfriend. Two minutes later, she asked me if I had a boyfriend. I felt inclined at that moment just to make one up and see what she did in another two minutes when she asked again if I had a boyfriend and I gave her a different name.

Granted, my conversation with my mall cutter wasn't that much more intimate or entertaining. She told me about her dead-beat husband and his no-good friends. And although that sounds like it might be more interesting than repeatedly discussing my dating status, it wasn't.

By the end of the cut, I looked like a mom. Not that that's bad, all you mothers who are out there reading this, but you know what I mean. I'm only hoping that I'll be more pleased with the cut after I wash and style it myself. It was just interesting, as I left the salon, to think that my mall cut was actually a more positive experience. Maybe I've got a little W. T. in me after all.
DISCLAIMER: This is not to say that Captain Mom has poor taste in stylists. I always love CM's hair. I am reluctantly confident that my hair will turn out to be just fine tomorrow, and while I'm debating whether to go back to this stylist (meaning there's a very slight chance), I do appreciate CM for looking out for me and encouraging me to explore options beyond Valley Fair Mall.


Squirrel Boy said...

Wow. Valley Fair is a LOT W.T.—and I grew up on the west side of Salt Lake Valley, so I consider myself very qualified to say that. It's worth the drive to go to one of the east-side malls.

metamorphose said...

I shuddered at the Valley Fair -but just because someone works at a "real" salon doesn't mean they're very talented, or that they "get" you and your style.

I can't promote my stylist enough. His name is Jake Thompson, and he costs an arm and a leg, but seriously, it's worth it (he's great with both cuts and coloring.)

Go here:

Jake's wife is the girl on the left on the home page. They own the salon. Super nice -may seem to be "too cool" but Jake always does exactly what I want. I always leave happy -and even though he's fond of a chat, he doesn't pressure you to talk to him much while he does your hair. I hardly say a word when I go in.

I go to the Sugarhouse location -it's the best. You can find pics of it on the site.

bedelia said...

At least you didn't get a butch cut...I've gotten a couple of those.

Rachel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
punk rock girl said...

i went to captain mom's girl a couple of times. she does like to talk about who you are dating. i blame her for ruining my bangs winter 2006.

AzĂșcar said...

No matter what a cut looks like it grows out eventually, thank goodness.

A good stylist is SO HARD to find. My two sisters and I went to the same girl for a few cuts and all loved her. Then she did the unthinkable: she moved to Cedar City.

We talked of collective driving to Cedar to get our hair did, and ended up ruling it out. You know a girl is good if you'd even consider driving three hours to get a cut.

Two years later, I get a call from her and she's BACK! I may actually drive to Springville (redneck counterpart to your W.T. Valley Fair) for a cut soon.

p.s. I have heard nothing but good things about Meta's Lunatic Fringe.

metamorphose said...

Oh Azucar -I always thought if I my beloved Jake left for New York or California or something, I would find a way to travel to him, oh yes I would. Nice to know I'm not alone in my love for my stylist. Springville ain't no thang!

Tolkien Boy said...

So far, I have five choices in haircutting emporiums...all of which are frequented by drug dealers. It's one of the reasons my hair has grown to Fabio proportions.

Th. said...


Everytime you change your site design I fall in love all over again.

Saule Cogneur said...

Whenever I hear "Mom Cuts," I think "Mom pants" as advertised in the SNL skit.


Master Fob said...

I've found that I save money by buying a pair of clippers and cutting my own hair. The longest attachment on most clippers is about an inch, which is a decent length. A month or two after cutting, it looks great. You should try this.