Mommy Style

All right. It is time for me to blog about something very important. It's about a breast pump. And for those of you who might be a little wary, don't worry. I will post no pictures and I will divulge no personal details about my personal pumping experiences, other than saying that our home has never felt more like a dairy farm.

One of the things that I neglected to mention about Murray in the #1 Dad post was that he, himself, all on his own and on his own initiative, went out and bought me a breast pump in the first few days after Baby-O was born. (I reassert that he is the world's #1 Dad and the world's best husband ever, even if he doesn't quote Pride and Prejudice.) He called me from Baby's R Us to make sure that he was buying the correct model.

Murray wanted to get me the best. There were a few models, each a little more expensive than the last. I think that the salesperson was trying to sell Murray on the most expensive model, which allows you to pump hands-free, and Murray felt like that's the one that he should get for me because I deserve nothing but the best. But I was fine with the least expensive model because I figure the most expensive models are more geared to women who work outside of the home. Me, I work from home and can pump comfortably and privately whenever I choose.

So Murray got me the Medela Pump in Style backpack. And here is where I begin to ask very important questions.

First of all. Why would you ever need to "pump in style"? Who's going to see you pumping, and who's going to judge you on the style of your pump? And how could anyone ever make a pump that was actually stylish? I think it's impossible. (Once again---think dairy farm.)

Second of all. How can anyone ever call a smallish black backpack stylish? Like my pump is an accessory that I'm not going to be humiliated wearing around in public? I'm actually going to feel like I look cool and stylish? I don't think so. Also, where am I going that I am actually needing to wear my breast pump as a backpack? The description of the backpack online says that it is "trendy" black (since when was black a "trend"?) with butter yellow trim. Ooooo. That makes me feel so stylish!

Third of all. The pump itself is inseparable from the backpack. What's the point of that? Heaven forbid that I might not have my trendy black backpack with butter yellow trim with me at all times while pumping---I guess it's called "pump in style" because the stylish backpack is always with the pump, for better or for worse. It's like they're forcing their style on you. Now, Murray pointed out over the phone from Babies R Us that the more expensive model was not attached to its carrying case. But I didn't feel like we should spend $100 more just to have a detachable pump, especially because as I mentioned, I'll only ever be pumping in the privacy of my own home, so it doesn't really matter if my pump is forever attached to a backpack. But seriously, can anyone explain this? Whose idea was it to have a pump that is inseparable from its large, bulky carrying case? What benefit does that give me, the customer?

So there you have it. My thoughts on the breast pump. Let me be clear: Murray bought me the exact pump that I would have purchased myself, so my review of this item does not suggest that he made a poor product choice. My issue is that my pump is called "Pump in Style" and I believe that to be impossible. But judge for yourself: