Mommy Style

All right. It is time for me to blog about something very important. It's about a breast pump. And for those of you who might be a little wary, don't worry. I will post no pictures and I will divulge no personal details about my personal pumping experiences, other than saying that our home has never felt more like a dairy farm.

One of the things that I neglected to mention about Murray in the #1 Dad post was that he, himself, all on his own and on his own initiative, went out and bought me a breast pump in the first few days after Baby-O was born. (I reassert that he is the world's #1 Dad and the world's best husband ever, even if he doesn't quote Pride and Prejudice.) He called me from Baby's R Us to make sure that he was buying the correct model.

Murray wanted to get me the best. There were a few models, each a little more expensive than the last. I think that the salesperson was trying to sell Murray on the most expensive model, which allows you to pump hands-free, and Murray felt like that's the one that he should get for me because I deserve nothing but the best. But I was fine with the least expensive model because I figure the most expensive models are more geared to women who work outside of the home. Me, I work from home and can pump comfortably and privately whenever I choose.

So Murray got me the Medela Pump in Style backpack. And here is where I begin to ask very important questions.

First of all. Why would you ever need to "pump in style"? Who's going to see you pumping, and who's going to judge you on the style of your pump? And how could anyone ever make a pump that was actually stylish? I think it's impossible. (Once again---think dairy farm.)

Second of all. How can anyone ever call a smallish black backpack stylish? Like my pump is an accessory that I'm not going to be humiliated wearing around in public? I'm actually going to feel like I look cool and stylish? I don't think so. Also, where am I going that I am actually needing to wear my breast pump as a backpack? The description of the backpack online says that it is "trendy" black (since when was black a "trend"?) with butter yellow trim. Ooooo. That makes me feel so stylish!

Third of all. The pump itself is inseparable from the backpack. What's the point of that? Heaven forbid that I might not have my trendy black backpack with butter yellow trim with me at all times while pumping---I guess it's called "pump in style" because the stylish backpack is always with the pump, for better or for worse. It's like they're forcing their style on you. Now, Murray pointed out over the phone from Babies R Us that the more expensive model was not attached to its carrying case. But I didn't feel like we should spend $100 more just to have a detachable pump, especially because as I mentioned, I'll only ever be pumping in the privacy of my own home, so it doesn't really matter if my pump is forever attached to a backpack. But seriously, can anyone explain this? Whose idea was it to have a pump that is inseparable from its large, bulky carrying case? What benefit does that give me, the customer?

So there you have it. My thoughts on the breast pump. Let me be clear: Murray bought me the exact pump that I would have purchased myself, so my review of this item does not suggest that he made a poor product choice. My issue is that my pump is called "Pump in Style" and I believe that to be impossible. But judge for yourself:





16 comments:

Janssen said...

That final picture did me in. Oh my word.

Shop Girl* said...

Now I'm curious... "Pump in Style" as compared to what? What the previous model in a fanny pack? haha

AzĂșcar said...

Yeah, that's weird. I really like my Ameda, especially because I could choose a nondescript bag from which I could remove the pump whenever I liked.

Backpack...

Jonathon said...

Wow. I think those pictures are, in fact, the antithesis of style. Seriously, who do they think they're fooling?

Mrs. Hass-Bark said...

I think that any company that would use the likeness of a woman dressed in pleated slacks has no right to use the phrase 'in style' in any context.

daltongirl said...

Maybe the style comes in where people are staring at your giant backpack, and not at your breasts, which have created leak stains on all your chic shirts. That, to me, might be considered stylish, if I didn't have to see so much of the latter.

Kristeee said...

Only the ones with the pump in style backpacks can get together and have fun, I guess. Enjoy your little parties.

Word verification: pantypop

Lady Susan said...

I just got sick to my stomach looking at those pictures. If this is stylish motherhood, I will abstain.

Nemesis said...

Yeah, I'm loving the part where they're all romping around in the outdoors kitted out in sweater sets. Like they're going to go find some park to pump in while they chat about work.

My word . . .

Also, I think the Internet should get to take a look at the New Yorker article that Sakhmet forwarded us today. One of its points is how employers and government in the USA have decided that the solution to make mothers' and babies' lives better is to promote pumping. As opposed to, say, offering longer maternity leave or daycare or places where women can physically nurse their babies. But hey, they have a pumping room Just For You!

Natalie said...

I am laughing out loud at work, and I need to hurry and get off this page before my boss comes in and fires me. Also, I had to pump in the storage room in the basement of the bank I worked in. Only once was I exposed to a bank manager looking for old loan files.

DP said...

I was just wondering if the woman in the last picture has a pump in her messenger bag?

jeri said...

Apparently you're also required to give up back pockets on your high-waisted pants. Because that is also stylish.

Joe also went out in the first few days of Minnie's life and bought all the pump accessories I might have needed. The ladies at the store were very nice to him but he did have to call his mom with questions once or twice. He never complained. Champion husband. I wish I knew where that pump was... I could have loaned it to you.

KJ said...

belly laughs. Absolutely nothing stylish about breastfeeding. Nothing like running a one woman dairy farm. I happen to believe that breastfeeding--and all the goes along with it--is akin to prison. It's also one of the great injustices of the world. The first great injustice is what got you in this blessed state in the first place. ;)

Claire said...

So stylish! I don't even have a child and I'm tempted to buy one. If only I had a Snuggie to go along with it....

Jenny said...

Clearly the marketers for this product have never pumped themselves. Puh-LEAZE.
By the way. Happy Stylish pumping!

Medela Pump in style backpack said...

Medela pump in style backpack is really very good! I have been using it from a long time, it's truly what I wanted, I just love it!

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