The thesaurus says I'm Satan.

I love thesauri. I just love seeing all the different word options. I love language (hence the double major in English and French and the minor in editing, and count the Italian as a bonus). And I really, really love language humor. That's probably one of the greatest things about working with other editors. At my current job, the editors aren't as nerdy as they were at my college job, and I kindof miss that nerdiness, to tell the truth. We assembled quote books of particularly noteworthy quotes. We made fun of others' English usage, underscoring our own superiority.

Thank heavens Squirrel Boy (a relic of that former group) came to work here, too. It allows me to enjoy language humor once more.

Yesterday I needed to write some romance copy and I was stuck with a few wording options. I checked www.thesaurus.com for a little bit of help. And I enjoyed my findings so much that I sent the different options to Squirrel Boy.

Sometimes the thesaurus really cracks me up. Right now, I'm looking for an alternative for "devotee." [Note: the original word I chose was "reader" but I wanted something that carried a "devotee" sense, but not the word "devotee."]

I found "adherent" in the list so I clicked it to see its synonyms. Can you find the synonyms in this sentence?

For over 15 years, [this book] has helped card-carrying members achieve balance and maximize effectiveness.

For over 15 years, [this book] has helped hangers-on achieve balance and maximize effectiveness.

For over 15 years, [this book] has helped fiends achieve balance and maximize effectiveness.

For over 15 years, [this book] has helped lovers achieve balance and maximize effectiveness.

For over 15 years, [this book] has helped religious persons achieve balance and maximize effectiveness. (Note: the listed antonym for "religious person" is "god.")

Now let's take a moment to think about that last point. According to the thesaurus, the antonym of "religious person" (which describes me) is "god." The antonym of "god" is "Satan." Let's work this out mathematically:

Cicada = Religious Person

Antonym of Religious Person = God

Antonym of God = Satan

Religious Person = Satan

Satan = Cicada

Oh dear. The thesaurus can't be wrong.




(As an added bonus, here is the first paragraph of this entry, thesaurized.)

I find thesauri irresistible. I very soon am fond of bearing in mind all the poles apart utterance selections. I adore verbal communication (therefore the binary chief in English and French and the petty in expurgation, and reckon the Italian as a windfall). And I in actual fact, if truth be told worship tongue funniness. That's in all probability one of the supreme effects about functioning with supplementary editors. At my existing employment, the editors aren't as milk-and-water as they were at my university profession, and I kindof let pass that milk-and-wateriness, to put in the picture the precision. We agglomerated citation compendia of for the most part worth mentioning speech marks. We made sport of others' English management, italicizing our particular pre-eminence.

6 comments:

ambrosia ananas said...

Hahahaha. I knew it! You child of religious persons, you.

I relationship that beta test paragraph, put aside.

Murray Terreno di Amore said...

So does that mean that our children will be the spawn of Satan?............hmmmm....the terrible twos are rough enough, but the terrible twos with the offspring off the Lord of the Underworld....no thanks.....

Wait, I have consulted my thesaurus by looking up the word 'acceptance' and found this:

adoption.

daltongirl said...

I admire you.

According to the thesaurus, this makes me a Satan worshipper.

Aoi Sakura said...

That last paragraph, while some of it makes no sense, really made me laugh. Thanks for that; I needed it today.

dimmi said...

Well, as long as you continue to let pass that milk-and-wateriness, you should be ok.

This was fantastic.

Rachel said...

Haha! Speaking of word humor, you'll appreciate this:

Il y a un Français qui voit une Américaine qui lui plaît beaucoup. Il décide de lui parler.

"Je peux vous offrir un verre ? On pourrait se recontrer au bar vers neuf heures et demi ?"

"NEVER!" La fille répond.

"Eh bien, neuf heures, neuf heures et demi, ça m'est égale!"

(You have to read it out loud to get it. ;))