You've Got to Be Kidding Me

Rachel and I decided to get together for a Thursday evening bike ride. Never mind the fact that there were tornado-like wind wind conditions. Never mind the fact that there were menacing rain/snow clouds. Never mind the fact that we were going to ride on the men-having-sex-with-men-in-the-bushes trail. We were going to go on a bike ride. We put on our matchy-matchy jeans-and-navy-hoodies outfits and set out on the trails.

We passed the llama/pig/emu/goat/peacock/chicken farm. We saw a muskrat (?) swimming in the water. We even saw a pied-billed grebe. We went on a golf course. We went under a scary overpass. We did everything with no flats. It was wonderful.

And when it was done and we were back at Rachel's house, we felt so good about our physical activity that we decided to go out and get a pizza and an order of Italian cheese bread from Little Caesar's. And then we watched The Office. And then I was ready for the ride home, before it got too dark.

But when I got to my bike, I found the back tire completely deflated. And then I felt my soul deflate, too. Upon inspection, I found about three thorns in the back tire. Did I mention we were on paved trails the whole time? The front tire was still inflated, but I found about six thorns sticking into it. You know what's going to happen when those come out.

Rachel checked out her bike to see if my curse was extended to her, but her bike looked fine. So I decided to inspect her bike. The back tire was fine, but the front tire was completely deflated with several thorns sticking into it.

I'm thinking that Guido and I are going to have a rough (and expensive) summer.

8 comments:

Saule Cogneur said...

Two summers ago, I went through 4 tubes in one week. I should have invested in a decent patch kit.

heatherlynn said...

oh i'm so sad for you! is this why you haven't called me back to schedule bear river? because you are mad at your bike tire for being so uncooperative?

heatherlynn said...

oh, p.s., cyclesmith is sweet on the generous side about fixing bikes purchased from them. it's part of the deal that you get free tune-ups for life. anyway--i'll bet if you went back and said "hey, my tire is real lame" they'd give you a new tube. i'd try it. it seems like our super tough tires should be able to withstand some thorny things. i've never ever had a problem with my tires and i ride EVERYWHERE all the time. literally everywhere.

stupidramblings said...

"Flies definitely stink--the biters are all over the nation. And Blue guy eat a fuzzy blue tern plenty more 'n two as Oprah."

stupidramblings said...

Also, bike shops sell tires with kevlar in the contact surface. I highly recommend them--they cost a bit, but it sounds like they cost less than the 67 (sixty-seven) patch kits and 23 (twenty-three) tubes you are going to have to buy.

Word verification: nsatubrr

spart said...

I can't understand how this happens Cicada. Maybe you need a tougher tire? Admittedly I don't know much about them, but I've ridden a bike my entire life -- over glass, rocks, and who knows what else in Toronto, and I've never once had a flat.

Of course now that I've said that the next time I ride it'll go flat immediately...or you'll have flown up here and slashed my tire...

Cicada said...

Spart, Just come to Utah and go on a bike ride with me. You'll see.

I just bought some super tubes, so we'll see if those help.

Rachel said...
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