And so it begins.
You may remember that I had a few bike incidents last year. Like popped tires. And more popped tires. I didn't even blog about them all, but I think that there were probably about four to five popped tire incidents. Every time I'd pop a tire, I'd call El Senor, who'd come over and replace a tube for me. He's the best.
This morning, I decided to go on a Sunday morning bike ride with Guido. I really thought that it was a nice, Sabbath day appropriate activity. I mean, believe me, I'd enthusiastically cast the first stone at anyone who would think it's okay to ride a road bike or a mountain bike on the holy Sabbath---those activities are clearly sports---but a cruiser? A cruiser has "Sabbath-Worthy" written all over it.
About a mile and a half into my ride, however, I noticed that dear Guido wasn't riding very well... There seemed to be some resistance. I looked and saw, of course, a flat rear tire. I phoned El Senor to tell him (with Ole Trusty, El Senor would come and pick me up, but Guido doesn't fit in or on El Senor's car). Then I walked the mile and a half home. My Sunday bike ride turned into a Sunday stroll. So maybe God doesn't think that riding a cruiser on the Sabbath is appropriate.
(NOTE: While I was strolling home, I reflected on the Jews in the old days who could only walk a certain number of steps on the Sabbath. Then I thought about what would happen if you used up your step quota before you were home. What would you do then? I thought really, it would be best if you used up your step quota at the top of a hill, and your home was at the bottom of the hill, because then you could just lie down and roll, letting gravity do all the work. Then you could crawl through the threshold of your home, because crawling is not walking.)
Anyway, El Senor laughed at me when I walked through the door. In fact, we'd even been joking before my bike ride about how many tires I've popped and the fact that I'd probably pop another one soon. We've determined that he bikes a couple thousand miles between popped tires and I manage approximately fifteen. Anyway, being handy and useful, he replaced my tube for me, and brought me the offending thorn that had popped my tire. A thorn!! How can I avoid those? It was two milimeters!
Anyway, I've had all day to think of this, and applying the principle of Occam's Razor, I've determined that El Senor has been pricking my tires with pins so that they pop. He does this so that I am reliant on him (men need to feel needed). He found the tiny thistle on our porch and brought that to show me as the "cause" of my popped tire. But I know the truth. I know the truth. It's really the simplest answer.
6 comments:
My bigger concern has always been what one would do if all the pre-torn pieces of toilet paper had been used. Would you have to sit there on the toilet until sundown? Is pulling a Kleenex out of the box as much work as tearing off toilet paper, and if not, could you use that as a substitute? And then what if your toilet got clogged from the Kleenex, being thicker and all? Are you allowed to unclog it? That's why I always err on the side of caution and tear off more than I think I'm going to need. Also I forbid any kids from using my bathroom. They're on their own.
I bet El S. is using nails instead of pins. The holes are easier to find, and why would he create more work for himself--especially on the Sabbath, when he can't even tear off his toilet paper? On the other hand, a nail hole leaks faster. Maybe he's just marking the location of the pin holes when me makes them. That's the logical explanation.
Crap, Rachel. You're going to get me in trouble. I was on those trails on Friday and then my brother and sister-in-law told me that they're dangerous and men have sex with men in the bushes. But if men are having sex with men, then I would think that I'm pretty safe...
Anyway, I'll totally go. But I don't know what Guido fitting in your car has to do with anything... We can just bike over there. Anyway. Lunch this week. We'll have to do it.
I read this post before reading the previous one and mistakenly thought you had lucked into a friendly Italian male bike riding buddy---in Salt Lake of all places. I was confused as to why you would have to walk back to your apartment when it was HIS tire that had popped. When you have Italian bike riding buddies, you shouldn't just strand them while you take the time to walk back to your apartment and fetch El Senor. I read the previous post and it all made more sense. I'm not confused anymore, just a little jealous of your adorable new bike.
I've found that the largest cause of popped tires comes from not having your tires filled up to the specified pressure. That might help you avoid the flats. Other than that, just avoiding the thorns, thistles, briars, and noxious weeds should help.
Men having sex with men? That's kinda cute...
I'll just have to make sure I Nair my mustache before we go.
Ahem, I'm free for lunch tomorrow...?
Ou bien peut-être jeudi? J'ai une sorte de rendez-vous demain soir avec quelqu'un et si on se voit jeudi je pourrais te donner de mes nouvelles... Mais si on se voit demain tu pourras me donner des conseils??? Ou bien les deux?? Haha! À toi de décider chérie!
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