Part of the reason I haven't posted is that I have barely touched my computer since finals were over. Part of the reason is that I have about four saved drafts now that I haven't published, because mostly they're boring. Since my creativity has decreased as my caloric intake has increased, I haven't had much to say other than logging my daily events, which isn't actually fascinating. But what is fascinating, or at least titillating, is this joke:
How do you titillate an ocelot?
(Highlight blank space to read the answer.)
You oscillate his tit a lot.
It's been a while since I've loved a joke as much as this one, and now that I'm sharing it on the internet, it will prevent me from actually delivering the joke to you all in person. Drat. I just have to do it, though. Merry Christmas, all. And now I'm going to bed.