This is my conversation that I just had with the high school kid working at Hollywood video, as best as I can remember it.
Kid: Phone number please?
Me: [Murray's phone number]
Kid: Murray Terreno di Amore?
Me: Yes.
Kid: Cicada Terreno di Amore?
Me: Yes.
Kid: This shows you have a late fee. Would you like to pay that now?
Me: Yes. [Pause] But what if I said no? How many times am I allowed to say no?
Kid: Uh... technically they don't tell us that. And actually, even when someone's account comes up as "DO NOT RENT TO THIS PERSON" we still rent to them. So basically we'll rent to you no matter what.
Me: Hmm. I'll pay the fee.
Kid: [Rings me up for my movies and my late fee.] Would you like to buy damage protection on these movies for 25 cents each?
Me: No.
Kid: It means that if they come back damaged, you don't have to pay to replace them.
Me: I don't want to pay it.
Kid: Okay. What would you say if I just charge you 50 cents damage protection for all three movies?
Me: Not gonna pay it. I mean, what, it's 20 bucks if I damage the movie? I just have to pay 20 bucks to replace it?
Kid: Yeah, so wouldn't you rather pay 50 cents to protect yourself than 20 bucks?
Me: I don't want to buy the protection. Boy, they sure do tell you to do this, though, don't they?
Kid: Yeah. We have to do it. They keep track. And if I don't meet my weekly quota, I could lose my job.
Me: You're kidding.
Kid: Well, I wouldn't lose my job because my boss is really nice and he wouldn't do that. But his boss really gets on his back, and he could lose his job if we aren't meeting our quotas.
Me: Well, if it helps you meet your quota, then I'll pay the 50 cents.
Kid: No, no. That's okay. I'm not going to charge you for it.
Me: I mean, how can they prove it anyway? How can they prove that I damaged the movie?
Kid: If it's damaged, they'll bring up the name of the last person who rented it.
Me: I'd say, "It didn't work that well for me, either, but I was able to get past the rough parts."
Kid: They'd make you pay anyway. It's a horrible company.
[With my powers of negotiation, they wouldn't. But I didn't go into that.]
Me: What's your name:
Kid: William. [Name changed for protection.]
Me: William, next time I come in, I'm going to buy the protection, only to help you reach your quota and keep your job.
Kid: That's really nice of you. In fact, it's so nice of you that I'm going to ring you up for a free movie, and in my own way I can stick it to the company.
Me: You stick it to them. And thank you. That's really nice.
So basically, William will be my go-to guy at Hollywood from now on. Until he loses his job that is, because people get wise to the whole "Hollywood would like to offer you its protection" scam.
Retarded.
So when I was in high school, I went through this big "retarded" phase. It was my word for everything. That's retarded. You're retarded. I'm retarded. You get it. At a certain point, I decided that this could be offensive to some people, and I really needed to stop saying it. Specifically, there was a girl in my class who had a brother with Down's Syndrome, and I heard that she was offended by the use of the word retarded like that.
So while I was really actively trying to weed the expression out of my vocabulary, this classmate offered me a ride downtown after school since both of us were headed that way. I accepted, and my inner dialog went like this: Don't say retarded. Don't say retarded.
Then I realized that she wasn't driving; her dad was driving, and her brother was in the car. Then my inner dialog went like this: Don'tsayretarded.Don'tsayretarded.Don'tsayretarded.
As we approached the car, a girl passed by us and my classmate said, "I think she's really pretty."
Not knowing if she was being serious or not, I asked, "Are you being retarded?"
Then there was this really long, awkward pause because 1) I had just said retarded and 2) it didn't even make sense in context of our conversation.
And it seemed like forever before I was able to say,
". . . I mean . . . sarcastic?"
She said no, and then pretty much the whole rest of the ride downtown was awkward.
(Uh... The End. For some reason I was thinking about that story again today. There's no real point to it except that sometimes what we're thinking comes out of our mouths just because we're trying hard not to say it.)
So while I was really actively trying to weed the expression out of my vocabulary, this classmate offered me a ride downtown after school since both of us were headed that way. I accepted, and my inner dialog went like this: Don't say retarded. Don't say retarded.
Then I realized that she wasn't driving; her dad was driving, and her brother was in the car. Then my inner dialog went like this: Don'tsayretarded.Don'tsayretarded.Don'tsayretarded.
As we approached the car, a girl passed by us and my classmate said, "I think she's really pretty."
Not knowing if she was being serious or not, I asked, "Are you being retarded?"
Then there was this really long, awkward pause because 1) I had just said retarded and 2) it didn't even make sense in context of our conversation.
And it seemed like forever before I was able to say,
". . . I mean . . . sarcastic?"
She said no, and then pretty much the whole rest of the ride downtown was awkward.
(Uh... The End. For some reason I was thinking about that story again today. There's no real point to it except that sometimes what we're thinking comes out of our mouths just because we're trying hard not to say it.)
Vanity
As long as I'm making recommendations, I have to put in a word for my favorite jeans store, Vanity. If I got only two things out of my roommateship with Brozy, one would be El Azteca (she introduced me to their nachos) and the other would be jeans from Vanity. (Note: El Azteca makes it harder to fit into jeans from Vanity.)
Vanity is a little trashy store. It's even more trashy because I usually go to the one in the Valley Fair Mall. So trashy, trashy, trashy. BUT every Vanity, no matter where it's located, has a huge selection of jeans. And they often have lots and lots of jeans on sale. Their off-sale price averages at about $40. Their on-sale price is typically from $10-$20.
And this is the MOST IMPORTANT PART: Vanity offers a variety of LENGTHS for every pair of their jeans. I have awful, short legs. This means that finding pants is really hard for me. But at Vanity, I can choose the length that works for me. I have friends (Ambrosia) with long legs. Once I even borrowed a pair of Ambrosia's jeans, and even with high heels on, there was probably about 5 extra inches of pant leg. (I borrowed them only for as long as it took to try them on, laugh at the ridiculous length, and find a pair of my own pants.) The lengths range from, I think, 29-35. That's a pretty big range in my opinion.
And yes, Vanity is a trashy store, but I really think that most of their jeans are cute and unique. And I get lots of compliments on them by non-trashy people. And so I highly recommend the store, with only two warnings: 1) Sometimes their stretchy jeans are just way too stretchy, so I try to be picky, and 2) Most of their jeans are extremely low-rise and you think that they're going to fall off your butt, and they will unless you're wearing a belt. So wear a belt. But seriously, buy Vanity jeans.
(Notice my office is looking slightly more sparse? Have I mentioned I'm leaving my job? Sob!)
Bajio, Costa Vida, Cafe Rio
Today I was really craving Costa Vida. It's close to work. And my lunch-default friend, TOWR, inconsiderately made other plans for lunch today. So I had to go alone. I thought I'd beat the lunch rush, but instead managed to get there right at the busiest time. Luckily, I had my bookclub book with me. I hate my bookclub book this month, but I'm reading it anyway, so that I can give an informed opinion when we meet this month. It's just awkward that I was reading the first racy scene I've encountered in the novel when my boss's boss's boss's boss said hello to me and took a moment to chat. I'm really glad that he didn't ask me what I was reading, because I would have had to tell him it was absolute crap. Want proof?
She looked at him intently, perhaps trying to decide how rude his comment had been. There was steel in her blue eyes, steel so cold that it chilled you.
Need I say more? The book is a steaming pile of crap, crap so steaming that it gets into your nostrils and smells like steaming crap.
Anyway. That's all SO off topic. What I wanted to discuss were three restaurants: Bajio, Costa Vida, and Cafe Rio.
Bajio:
Of these three restaurants, Bajio is my favorite. Some people don't understand that you don't order your normal fare at Bajio. If you want a burrito, go to one of the other two. Here are my top three recommendations for Bajio. There's basically no other reason to go.
1) The shrimp tacos. With sweet rice. The shrimp is cooked in honey butter and topped with mango salsa. As you eat them, let the sweet juices drip into the rice. Then eat the rice. It's divine.
2) The green chili chicken quesadilla. Sooooo good.
3) If you're watching what you eat, try the green chili chicken salad. However, unlike salads from most of these places, it doesn't come with rice or beans, so it can be much less filling than the other burrito bar salads.
Costa Vida:
This is my second-favorite restaurant of the three, but it's probably pretty closely tied with Cafe Rio. I think that both restaurants are pretty similar, actually. My recommendations:
1) The sweet pork enchiladas with mango. That is what I am eating RIGHT NOW. It's basically like a meat dessert.
2) The chicken salad with the cilantro vinaigrette. Pretty typical, but pretty good.
Since I imagine most of you are most familiar with Cafe Rio, I won't really put my favorites or anything. I just kindof get what I'm feeling in the mood for there, but I am never really wowed, and I never really crave it.
I'd love to hear about your favorites, though.
She looked at him intently, perhaps trying to decide how rude his comment had been. There was steel in her blue eyes, steel so cold that it chilled you.
Need I say more? The book is a steaming pile of crap, crap so steaming that it gets into your nostrils and smells like steaming crap.
Anyway. That's all SO off topic. What I wanted to discuss were three restaurants: Bajio, Costa Vida, and Cafe Rio.
Bajio:
Of these three restaurants, Bajio is my favorite. Some people don't understand that you don't order your normal fare at Bajio. If you want a burrito, go to one of the other two. Here are my top three recommendations for Bajio. There's basically no other reason to go.
1) The shrimp tacos. With sweet rice. The shrimp is cooked in honey butter and topped with mango salsa. As you eat them, let the sweet juices drip into the rice. Then eat the rice. It's divine.
2) The green chili chicken quesadilla. Sooooo good.
3) If you're watching what you eat, try the green chili chicken salad. However, unlike salads from most of these places, it doesn't come with rice or beans, so it can be much less filling than the other burrito bar salads.
Costa Vida:
This is my second-favorite restaurant of the three, but it's probably pretty closely tied with Cafe Rio. I think that both restaurants are pretty similar, actually. My recommendations:
1) The sweet pork enchiladas with mango. That is what I am eating RIGHT NOW. It's basically like a meat dessert.
2) The chicken salad with the cilantro vinaigrette. Pretty typical, but pretty good.
Since I imagine most of you are most familiar with Cafe Rio, I won't really put my favorites or anything. I just kindof get what I'm feeling in the mood for there, but I am never really wowed, and I never really crave it.
I'd love to hear about your favorites, though.
It's a girl!
Don't get too excited. We're still a long ways off from finding out the sex of our child. But for various reasons, we suspect the child will be a girl. (I'd go into the studies that say female sperm are stronger and therefore if you have sex a few days before ovulation, you're more likely to have a girl, and male sperm are faster, so if you have sex during ovulation, you're more likely to have a boy, but you probably don't want to think about all that nitty gritty in regards to me and Murray.)
But there is new evidence that we'll be having a girl. Murray's coworker's wife claims that this Chinese birth calendar has been true for everyone she knows. Has it been true for you? Read the instructions carefully.
(By the way, the baby is due a couple weeks after my birthday... so I guess if it comes early, we're having a boy!)
(NOTE: If this Chinese birth calendar works, then the Chinese people could more easily avoid having baby girls... so I'm saying it probably is not too accurate.)
But there is new evidence that we'll be having a girl. Murray's coworker's wife claims that this Chinese birth calendar has been true for everyone she knows. Has it been true for you? Read the instructions carefully.
(By the way, the baby is due a couple weeks after my birthday... so I guess if it comes early, we're having a boy!)
(NOTE: If this Chinese birth calendar works, then the Chinese people could more easily avoid having baby girls... so I'm saying it probably is not too accurate.)
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