I'm in a cranky, ranty mood today, so I may as well post one of my favorite rants---about the foreign perception of Utah missionaries.
On my mission in Italy, few things bothered me more than to hear the Italian members voice their disrespect for Utah missionaries. I was talking to Redras about this and she said the French were the same. I imagine that it is common to many (but hopefully not all) missions.
When you first come to an area, the members immediately want to know where you're from. I had the good fortune of being from Canada, which was enough of a novelty to gain everyone's respect. The members say, "Oh! Canada! That's wonderful!" Then they tell me about the last missionary they knew from Canada. And they introduce me to other members and announce to everyone that I'm from Canada. Utah missionaries have a different experience altogether. They mention they're from Utah, and the members immediately say, "Oh. Utah." And if the missionary is lucky, that's it. Otherwise, the members might say, "Not another Utah missionary," or some-such crap. They complain about Utah missionaries and they compare the Utah missionaries to "stereotypical" Utah missionaries.
One day, I was with my companion and an Italian sister missionary and her companion. The thing is, I really loved this Italian sister, and she was one of the nicest people I've ever known. But when we were all talking about where we were from, her companion mentioned some state and then added, "But my family moved to Utah a couple years ago." Her sweet Italian companion spun around on her and shouted, "You're a Utah missionary! You're from Utah. This is the first time I have ever heard you mention it. All you Utah missionaries are always trying to say you're from anywhere but Utah. You're always trying to hide the fact that you're actually from Utah! I had another companion who always told everyone she was from Maryland, but then I later found out that she was born in Utah! You'll use any excuse to get out of admitting you're from Utah."
(Let's pause for a moment to realize what she was saying---she was saying that this sister whose family moved to Utah for the last two years of her life was supposed to claim Utah as her home state, while her other companion who had spent the first six months of her life in Utah was also supposed to claim Utah as her home state, and both these sisters were guilty of covering up the fact that they were both actually from Utah... Not very sound logic.)
And at this point, I couldn't hold in my anger anymore and I let her have my rant. I said that it's no wonder that any Utah missionary would want to find another state to claim as home (even though neither of these sisters was wrong in not claiming Utah) considering the reception they're given by the Italian members. Missionaries from anywhere else in the world are appreciated and applauded by the Italians, but the moment a missionary mentions he or she comes from Utah, they are treated as "less" of a missionary by the members. They are not celebrated at all. But the fact is that Utah missionaries make the exact same sacrifice that all other missionaries are making. They are also giving up 18-24 months of their lives to go and serve. They or their families or their wards are also paying to be able to do this. And the Utah missionaries are just as good as all the other missionaries who are serving in the field. From what I saw, there was no difference between the average Utah missionary and the average non-Utah missionary. And the fact is that the Church in Italy is there because of the service of Utah missionaries (who provide at least half of the mission force). Were it not for Utah missionaries, it is likely that most of the members complaining about Utah missionaries wouldn't even be in the Church at all. And for their efforts and for their service, they are rewarded with derision.
For what it's worth, Utah missionaries, I applaud you.
I can tell it's gonna be a good one...
So for those of you who are interested, I did actually take the PS100 exemption exam on Monday. Not because I thought I was going to pass it but because I thought I'd like to know where I stood in my PS100 knowledge and because it would give me an idea of what to expect on the final exam I'll take in a month or so. I got 40 percent. What bothers me about that is that I know that if I had actually followed through with my scientific experiment, I would have had at least 60 percent. But I'm not going to think about that too much. The point is, I'm enrolled in the class and I'm just going to have to deal with it. And I'm going to have to improve my final exam score, because apparently 50 percent is a "pass" for PS100.
Today was my first midterm. Yes, I'm lazy and I didn't study for it. I figured if I got 40 percent on the exemption exam and if I got 70 percent on this section's pretest, then I could pass this test just fine. I walked into the testing center at 4:15 and started to walk up the steps and stopped a moment to look at the testing center hours. Huh. Apparently on Fridays, they're only open till 5:00. And they don't hand any tests out after 4:00.
Yeah. So I got a 0 percent on my first test. Nice.
At least I know that if the grade on my final exam is higher than the other grades (homework, quizzes, and tests) then that's the grade I get for the class. So this means that I have to work extra hard this term to make sure that I pass that freaking final. Because, you know, I'd kindof like to graduate.
Today was my first midterm. Yes, I'm lazy and I didn't study for it. I figured if I got 40 percent on the exemption exam and if I got 70 percent on this section's pretest, then I could pass this test just fine. I walked into the testing center at 4:15 and started to walk up the steps and stopped a moment to look at the testing center hours. Huh. Apparently on Fridays, they're only open till 5:00. And they don't hand any tests out after 4:00.
Yeah. So I got a 0 percent on my first test. Nice.
At least I know that if the grade on my final exam is higher than the other grades (homework, quizzes, and tests) then that's the grade I get for the class. So this means that I have to work extra hard this term to make sure that I pass that freaking final. Because, you know, I'd kindof like to graduate.
Cicada's Famous Fake Frappucinos
Pursuant to a request for my frappucino recipe:
The summer after my freshman year, I went home to Canada and saw Tim Hortons advertising their frappucinos everywhere. Although I have never drunk coffee, I love the smell of it and I love anything coffee-flavored (and yes, for the record, I do eat coffee ice cream). But I really couldn't bring myself to buy a Tim Hortons frappucino when it clearly would be made by adding milk and ice and ice cream to coffee itself.
In Canada, we have Caf Lib, which is a burnt chicory coffee substitute. So one day, I became a genius and made my own frappucino with coffee substitute. What I learned after I returned to the States, however, is that Tim Hortons's frappuccino was actually fake and made only with coffee flavoring, not with actual coffee. Still, I am glad that I learned to make them for myself. And so is Redras. We are glad together.
Cicada's Famous Fake Frappuccinos
The summer after my freshman year, I went home to Canada and saw Tim Hortons advertising their frappucinos everywhere. Although I have never drunk coffee, I love the smell of it and I love anything coffee-flavored (and yes, for the record, I do eat coffee ice cream). But I really couldn't bring myself to buy a Tim Hortons frappucino when it clearly would be made by adding milk and ice and ice cream to coffee itself.
In Canada, we have Caf Lib, which is a burnt chicory coffee substitute. So one day, I became a genius and made my own frappucino with coffee substitute. What I learned after I returned to the States, however, is that Tim Hortons's frappuccino was actually fake and made only with coffee flavoring, not with actual coffee. Still, I am glad that I learned to make them for myself. And so is Redras. We are glad together.
Cicada's Famous Fake Frappuccinos
- Scoop several scoops of vanilla ice cream into a blender. (Use low-fat ice cream or vanilla frozen yogurt to cut calories and fat.)
- Pour a bunch of milk into the blender.
- Throw several ice cubes into the blender.
- Dump some coffee substitute (like Pero) into the blender.
- Squeeze a lot of chocolate syrup into the blender.
- Blend.
- Taste.
- Add any of the above ingredients you feel is necessary to improve taste. Blend till perfection.
- Rejoice.
How to Cut 600 Calories from Your Diet
1. Wake up and weigh yourself. Find out that you weigh about 2 pounds less than you expected to weigh. Rejoice.
2. Pack sensible snacks to take to classes. Plan on buying a sensible lunch on campus.
3. Eat sensible snacks in classes. Start getting hungry.
4. Go to the Twilight Zone. Grab a bagel. Be seduced by the barbeque chicken with cheese sandwich. Buy both the barbeque chicken with cheese sandwich and the bagel.
5. Run for the bus because holy crap, you're gonna miss it!
6. Hop on the bus just in time.
7. Read a book on the bus while anticipating your wonderful lunch.
8. Get off the bus. Leave your lunch on the bus seat.
9. Run after the bus as it pulls away.
10. Rush immediately to the vending machine at work.
11. Discover that the vending machine has been taken away.
12. Be really cranky the rest of the afternoon.
**The 600 calories are from the food you forgot on the bus, but don't forget that you actually burn calories while running to the bus and running after the bus and rushing to the vending machine.
2. Pack sensible snacks to take to classes. Plan on buying a sensible lunch on campus.
3. Eat sensible snacks in classes. Start getting hungry.
4. Go to the Twilight Zone. Grab a bagel. Be seduced by the barbeque chicken with cheese sandwich. Buy both the barbeque chicken with cheese sandwich and the bagel.
5. Run for the bus because holy crap, you're gonna miss it!
6. Hop on the bus just in time.
7. Read a book on the bus while anticipating your wonderful lunch.
8. Get off the bus. Leave your lunch on the bus seat.
9. Run after the bus as it pulls away.
10. Rush immediately to the vending machine at work.
11. Discover that the vending machine has been taken away.
12. Be really cranky the rest of the afternoon.
**The 600 calories are from the food you forgot on the bus, but don't forget that you actually burn calories while running to the bus and running after the bus and rushing to the vending machine.
Whenever you see an arrow, think of Coca-Cola.*
On the subject of scientific experiments (and by the way, if you're still waiting for the results of my last scientific experiment, I kindly refer you to the post called "results"), I'd like to share a rather embarrassing experiment I conducted a long time ago.
You see, I became a Coke drinker once I left home. Growing up, caffeinated beverages were basically as evil as beer and so it was a little rebellious of me to start drinking Coke after leaving the nest. And I have continued to drink Coke for the past several years. I am in no way addicted and also, unfortunately, I am in no way affected by the caffeine (not that I notice, anyway, though even still, I'll grab a Coke when I need extra energy to finish a school assignment... and then I'll immediately fall asleep on the couch).
I love Coke and I despise Pepsi. In fact, if I'm in a restaurant and ask for a Coke, and if the server tells me they serve Pepsi products, I tell the server very clearly (and icily) that I will have a water instead.
And rationally, I know that my dislike of Pepsi is unfounded. Still, I can't bring myself to drink the stuff. But my dislike is unfounded, you see, because I don't think I have a discriminating taste. I don't think that I have the best-developed taste buds in the world. But I needed to test myself to know for sure.
So I set up a time with friends a few years ago while we were on a weekend trip to St. George. We didn't have any glasses, so we took a can of Pepsi and a can of Coke and my friends blindfolded me. They gave me the first to test. I tested it and thought deeply about whether or not it had a good taste. They gave me the second to test. I tested it and pronounced immediately and emphatically, "The first one. Definitely the first one."
And suddenly the room filled with mean, terrible, horrific, boisterous laughter. I quickly removed the blindfold to watch my friends laughing at me---one of them was literally on the floor.
You see... my "friends" had given me the Pepsi can twice. So when I declared emphatically, "The first one, definitely the first one" I really was saying, "My first sip of Pepsi was noticeably different and better than the second sip of Pepsi."
You can imagine that my pride didn't allow me to ultimately go through with the rest of the experiment and to this day, I don't know if I can actually tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi.
*This is the Coca-Cola slogan from 1909. For all Coca-Cola slogans, see Wikipedia.
You see, I became a Coke drinker once I left home. Growing up, caffeinated beverages were basically as evil as beer and so it was a little rebellious of me to start drinking Coke after leaving the nest. And I have continued to drink Coke for the past several years. I am in no way addicted and also, unfortunately, I am in no way affected by the caffeine (not that I notice, anyway, though even still, I'll grab a Coke when I need extra energy to finish a school assignment... and then I'll immediately fall asleep on the couch).
I love Coke and I despise Pepsi. In fact, if I'm in a restaurant and ask for a Coke, and if the server tells me they serve Pepsi products, I tell the server very clearly (and icily) that I will have a water instead.
And rationally, I know that my dislike of Pepsi is unfounded. Still, I can't bring myself to drink the stuff. But my dislike is unfounded, you see, because I don't think I have a discriminating taste. I don't think that I have the best-developed taste buds in the world. But I needed to test myself to know for sure.
So I set up a time with friends a few years ago while we were on a weekend trip to St. George. We didn't have any glasses, so we took a can of Pepsi and a can of Coke and my friends blindfolded me. They gave me the first to test. I tested it and thought deeply about whether or not it had a good taste. They gave me the second to test. I tested it and pronounced immediately and emphatically, "The first one. Definitely the first one."
And suddenly the room filled with mean, terrible, horrific, boisterous laughter. I quickly removed the blindfold to watch my friends laughing at me---one of them was literally on the floor.
You see... my "friends" had given me the Pepsi can twice. So when I declared emphatically, "The first one, definitely the first one" I really was saying, "My first sip of Pepsi was noticeably different and better than the second sip of Pepsi."
You can imagine that my pride didn't allow me to ultimately go through with the rest of the experiment and to this day, I don't know if I can actually tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi.
*This is the Coca-Cola slogan from 1909. For all Coca-Cola slogans, see Wikipedia.
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