And so, without further ado, we give you Cicada's Wedding Day as seen through the eyes of Miss Nemesis and Daltongirl. As determined previously by coin toss or lots or something, Daltongirl will go first.
Installment 1: The Wedding Breakfast
Daltonboy and I arrived at the reception center to find a bunch of people standing around watching a video. Murray whispered sheepishly that he wasn't sure whether Cicada would approve of the preview, since the video was part of the program for later, but he felt the need to entertain. The video was awesome, partly because it was backed up by some cool scat singing by Ella Fitzgerald, but also because it featured a photo of jr. high-age Cicada with a really tight perm and an unfortunate blouse, covered with a print of flowers larger than her head. Later, during the program, that photo got a huge laugh--even though most everyone was seeing it for the second time.
Cicada arrived, surrounded by her entourage, in the manner of a rock star.
I found myself trying to catch a glimpse of her out the window, just so I could say I'd seen her. Sadly, she was blocked from my view by a group of men in dark suits, so I had to wait until she made her entrance into the dining room.
We found our seats and waited patiently until the moment when we could devour the creme-stuffed crepes in front of us.
Nemesis joined us after almost running the entourage down with her car.
Being schooled in the ways of Europeans and High Brow people, she immediately noticed the classy raspberry curd on the table. I, trying to cover up my white trash upbringing, somewhat abashedly admitted that I had thought it was ketchup. And so it turned out to be, after Nem delicately spooned some onto her plate next to the creme-stuffed crepes. I was ever so disappointed that she hadn't glopped it directly on top of them.
By the time I had eaten half the breakfast, I had consumed more than my entire day's allotment of calories. Perhaps this is why, at 9:00 in the evening, Cicada could say to me, "I haven't eaten since 9:00 this morning, but I'm really not hungry." Seriously. SO delicious.
After the breakfast, we were treated to a short program, wherein both Cicada's and Murray's parents said nice things about them and their impending union--all true as far as we know. Switchback, the loveliest of Maids of Honor, proposed a fabulous toast. Murray's brother started out jokingly, but quickly became choked up in the sweetest way. Then Cicada's family plus Switchback treated us with this musical number, which we understand was a collaborative effort by El Senor, Captain Fabuloso, and Captain Mom, with Richie on guitar.
Sung to the tune of John Prine's "Dear Abby."
Dear Abby
(girls)
Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
My life ain't so great.
I've come out of college with barely a date.
I had a great future worked out in my head.
But now I live with my brother instead.
Signed,
Old Spinster
(boys)
Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
I live all alone.
I bought me a car, and I bought me a home.
I've spent many years to build me this nest,
But now all I need is a bird to come rest.
Signed,
Bird Watcher
(girls and boys together)
Old Spinster, Bird Watcher,
You have no complaint.
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't.
So listen up Spinster, and Bird Watcher too:
Be patient. One day all your dreams will come true.
Signed,
Dear Abby.
(girls)
Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
I give up on love.
My family's been praying for help from above.
I edit and bike and I work on my blog.
I'm busy, successful, and have a great job.
Signed,
Still Patient
(boys)
Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
I have to work fast.
I often am told that my best years are past.
I go to church with the singles but don't have a doubt
That when I turn thirty they're kicking me out.
Signed,
Dejected
(boys)
Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
Oh, what's apropos
When you've fallen in love with a girl you don't know?
I read all her stories and she sounds so sweet.
This is surely a girl that I'd like to meet.
Signed,
Web Lurker
(girls)
Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
I never could see
That Internet dating was in store for me.
I googled his records and he came up clean.
So with friends in tow we ate Indian cuisine.
Signed,
Optimistic
(boys and girls together)
Dear Abby, Dear Abby,
The time has been short.
It's just been six months since we started to court.
Today we will marry--to the temple we'll go.
Our future together will be great, we know.
Signed,
Just Married
And what could top that, you wonder? Well. Cicada decided to give her single days a proper send off by reciting some poetry, written especially for the occassion. You may recall that in the past, she had gained some notoriety for reciting bitter single poetry. So this was a fitting close to those days, but as she said, "These days, I'm finding it hard to be bitter, so you won't see a lot of that here." And we didn't.
After her sweet poem and some kissing, Murray stepped up to the plate by offering a little creative piece of his own: "For Sentimental Reasons," sung in the manner of Jimmy Stewart. Brilliant!
Thanks ever so much to the entire Terreno di Amore family for providing us with such a splendid repast and delightful entertainment.
And now, on to the wedding proper. Nemesis?
